Divine Right: Born to the Lurk & Perk: Part One

What is the ultimate origin of the concept of ‘born to rule’ or of ‘divine right’? Why should someone who just happened to be the product of a particular sperm cell and a particular egg cell require worship as if they were a god? Does it have anything to do with real supernatural deities anointing those with the ‘right stuff’ genetics, those who they see fit to rule, or perhaps there’s a more intimate connection. Perhaps in fact it’s all nonsense.

Mythologies are full of sexual liaisons between the divine and the human. Just like the ‘Sons of God’ mated with the ‘Daughters of Men’ and the Greco-Roman gods and goddesses mated with mortals (to cite two of numerous case histories), resulting offspring would have been descended from the gods and thus weren’t quite your ordinary Joe and Josephine Blow, with membership in that great unwashed club of the public citizen. So, what’s it about these special descendents of the gods – demigods and demigoddesses? Why are they a cut (or two or twenty) above the rest of us?

But first, let’s substitute supernatural gods for flesh-and-blood extraterrestrials, ‘ancient astronauts’ who actually had an up-close-and-personal hand in the origin and evolution of the human species (another common thread of all things mythological, albeit interpreted in a religious or supernatural context). 

Well, if you really are a genetic product of an alien, of a technological advanced extraterrestrial, I guess that does make you a cut or twenty above those who can’t claim an out-of-this-world parentage. Gods or aliens (same difference IMHO), well they fawn on their half-breed descendents as something special – the go-betweens twixt them and the great unwashed. Those go-betweens are those born to rule by divine right (divine being a property of said gods or aliens they bestowed on their go-betweens).  

There’s no shortage of historical examples – from the kings and queens of Europe to the pharaohs of ancient Egypt to the emperors of ancient China and Japan. All had the direct authority of God or the gods behind them; many were also worshiped as deities in their own right and as such could claim ancestral lineage back to their gods.

That was then; now is now. Surely in today’s society nobody actually believes those who were born to rule were actual offspring descendens of the gods or ET or anointed by same as being of extraordinary leadership stock that would be passed down from generation to generation forever and ever.  In fact there would be those few and far between who would justify in fact that anyone anymore is born to actually rule because of ‘superior’ ancestors. So rather than those born to rule who actually rule, instead those now born to rule are just for all practical purposes figureheads. The British colonies, like Australia, are now democracies like England; ditto other European countries that retain some sort of royalty. Japan is a democracy too though there are those alive today who recall when the Japanese emperor was a literal god.

The question is, if those born to rule don’t in most cases actually rule, but are mere figureheads, why not get rid of these divine right parasites, be they kings or queens or emperors or empresses, even sultans; parasites who serve no useful function yet lead lavish lifestyles? Egypt got rid of the pharaoh. China booted out the emperor. It’s not that hard. Still, that’s not yet the general way of the world, so let’s… 

Fast-forward a bit to the general concept of heads or figureheads of nations that were born to rule. They are not elected officials who claim no ancestry from the divine; they are not those who took power and who rule by force – dictators, tyrants, etc. that can’t trace their lineage or ancestry back to the gods (even if some dictators claim otherwise and demand their subjects so treat them as gods too). So fast-forward to those who become leaders or rulers (leadership is sometimes in short supply) just because their parents were rulers and their grandparents before them and back and back it goes.

Authority based on divine right; authority vested because of an eventual connection (however remote) back to the gods and the gods’ anointment of them and their descendents to rule forevermore, cuts no mustard with me.

I’ve always found it difficult to accept that just because the sperm of a king or emperor meets the egg of a queen or empress that the resulting product is somehow better and more deserving at being a ruler than the resulting offspring of any other male/female conception. Yet apparently millions of people have and some still do accept that as a given. You are born to rule by divine right because you were born to those who were born to rule by divine right who in turn were, etc.

Yet as far as I can tell, such born to rule offspring (usually firstborn males) have to sit on the throne in the same manner as the rest of us and put their pants on one leg at a time. They require all of the sorts of stuff we mortals that belong to the lower class, the great unwashed do – stuff like oxygen, water, food, sleep, medical care, etc. In short, there’s no special distinguishing feature of any kind that separates them from us other than a total accident of having a divine or ‘royal’ sperm meet an egg (probably of similar lineage) for their conception. A naked baby that’s heir to the throne looks no different than a naked baby that’s the offspring of commoners. So in short, divine right, even if it ultimately derived from the ‘gods’ – or those ‘ancient astronauts’ - gets no respect from me since those claiming divine right, that born to rule status, don’t have to earn anything; an elected official at least earns his or her right to rule.

Here’s a modern case history (though their roots go back seemingly forever) of those who rule (now in pretty much in just a figurehead capacity) by divine right and thus haven’t earned any respect from yours truly. I refer to the English / British / Commonwealth royal family, in particular their head, Queen Liz.

Now it’s topical in America to compare and contrast the masses, the ordinary Americans, the 99%, with those extremely wealthy elites, the 1%. In British terms, Queen Liz and her royal family parasites are akin to the top 1% of the top British 1%, and the 99% remaining of that 1% just eat what to the royal family would be table scraps, albeit tasty table scraps. The lowest 99% just eat symbolic three day old and relatively stale cake – and they love it.

Now I must admit that the English apparently do right royally love their royal parasites. That’s probably because they help contribute a sense of history (now long vanished) and a pride of place (equally gone) part and parcel of once being the stiff-upper-lipped British (‘Rule Britannia, Britannia Rules the Waves’; ‘The Sun Never Sets on the British Empire’, ‘Be British, lads’, etc.). However, in more practical terms, the royals help bring in zillions of tourist dollars a year. Overseas tourists to England have as a must-see on their itinerary at least one royal palace and getting themselves snapped in front of same, with a place guard or two in the photo as well. Of course fat lot of good that does, either the sense of history slant, or the tourist dollar reality, to the colonies like Canada, or New Zealand, or South Africa or Australia, among all those other British colonies.

The colonies aside for the moment, just what sort of lurks and perks do these right royal parasites command? Well, with a snap of the royal fingers they can command ocean going yachts, private jets, horse-drawn carriages, and transport in the finest fleet of Rolls-Royce automobiles money can buy. They live in multi-hundred room private estate castles in England, Scotland, and probably elsewhere, all sited on lush massive acreages where they can indulge in their favourite blood sport of fox hunting (tally-ho), and/or the not quite as bloody sport of polo.  

Queen Liz and family don’t have to worry about where their next meal is coming from, which is certainly not going to be a Big Mac or fish-and-chips, and who’s going to cook, serve and wash up afterwards. They have massive staffs to cater for their every whim – even staff to dress them. They most certainly don’t make their own beds, cook their own meals, shine their own shoes, or any other manner of menial housework or chores. You don’t see Queen Liz pruning the royal rose bushes. They wouldn’t know what a vacuum cleaner was for if their life depended on it – which it doesn’t. They lose no sleep over the next set of incoming bills. They have medical, even veterinary staff, on call 24/7/52. Whatever they want or need, that whatever goes to them, not vice versa.

The royals most certainly do not stand in line for movie tickets or que in place at the supermarket checkout or join a bank line. They certainly have no need to join the unemployment line or que for social security benefits.

While I’m sure it must be just my imagination, the royals forever seem to be on holiday.

When any of the royal family gets married, there’s got to be an official legal tender commemorative coin (or some such) struck in their honour. Was there a commemorative anything minted when you got married or similar? No? Why not? What makes the royals deserving and not you?

While not a ‘lurk and perk’, the portrait of Queen Liz appears on all Australian coins (or at least those minted since she became Queen Liz). Why? She’s not Australian. She contributes nothing to Australian society. In fact she contributes nothing of any real note to society full stop. She’s not a health professional, nor a charity worker, a noted scientist, a military leader, a politician, author, poet, or artist of any kind. She’s a wife and mother of course but that hardly makes her stand out from the crowd. Besides, IMHO, only the dead should be honoured on stamps, coins, and related.

I gather she and kin pay some taxes now (that wasn’t always the case apparently), but again, that’s not a unique skill or legal obligation for which she and kin deserve a pat on the royal back for observing. Pats on the royal back by the way are an absolute no-no, but bowing and curtsying are mandatory etiquette in the presence of their company. 

Despite all of these unearned benefits due to just being born of the right parents and in the right place at the right time, you’d probably love to be a fly on the wall at their family gatherings. What little leaks out or gets captured by the paparazzi, show the royals are a totally dysfunctional and motley bunch. Anyone who is anyone who has following the shenanigans of the lesser royals in particular over the past several decades plus would be hard pressed to use any other term but dysfunctional, though several other choice words and phrases better left unsaid come close. All up they are certainly a few pence short of a pound. Queen Liz herself is probably the only relatively sane one of the bunch. 

To be continued…

Religious Hatred: The Westboro Baptist Church: Part Three

One tends to associate religious intolerance for other religions with bloodshed. The phrase ‘holy wars’ comes to the fore. However, the peace movement has come to religious hatred as well as in all other manner of protest movements. The most famous, or infamous, of the peaceful religious haters is probably the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC). I’m sure many of the recipients of their hate would prefer the days of bloodshed so they could dish a bit something back in return.

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

I also wonder if these idiots have a death or suicide wish. It’s not the best of ideas to Thank God for dead cops and soldiers when you reside in America’s heartland. The Ku-Klux-Klan isn’t exactly partial to the WBC either. And no doubt the Taliban wouldn’t mind showing the WBC some Islamic hospitality either. Friends come and friends go, but enemies accumulate. Accidents can happen when backs are turned.

The resident inmates of the WBC asylum apparently think God also hates those who mock Him. So I won’t mock Him, rather all the loonies who put their faith in the Holy Trinity equivalent of Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny, most notably God Himself. Those who I identify as loonies quite obviously include those wacko members at the WBC.

Now there’s a category of people and organizations well represented in say the “Guinness Book of Records” or “Ripley’s Believe It Or Not”. That category is those who have achieved their moment of fame and glory in the sunshine. Publicity seekers abound everywhere. There’s certainly a share of loony tunes – certified nut cases; there’s skilled daredevils and not so skilled risk takers. Many people like to do really crazy but relatively harmless things just for the hell of it and many do likewise as a means of raising money for various charities and other worthy causes. Thus they need all the PR they can get for their cause. But the bottom line is getting noticed, and you don’t get noticed if you’re part of the crowd. You’ve got to stand out from the crowd; dare to be different.  

But not all PR hounds are deliberately silly or daring or charitable. Shock-jocks shock to keep up their ratings. They also shock to keep up earning their multi-million dollar salaries, for example, a top shock-jock like Rush Limbaugh. Now Rush Limbaugh comes across as a total idiot; but total idiots don’t command huge listening audiences and vast, nearly obscene monetary rewards. So I strongly suspect that shock-jocks shock just because that’s part of their job description, not because they always actually believe the B.S. they spout off. But that’s their trade secret and they have to live with their often probably deliberate lies, hoping, nudge-nudge, wink-wink, the listening public can see through their charades.

America has more than her fair share of shock-jocks, including that especially one infamous name, Rush Limbaugh. Listeners tune in to see if their favorite shock-jock can outdo him or herself and top his or her previous outrageous rant with something even more outrageous. I’m sure they know this and deliberately stir the pot, though some like Limbaugh often cross the invisible line of what is and is not acceptable. 

The WBC is, IMHO, the religious equivalent of the radio shock-jock. In fact, my theory – I’m not alone here – Is that the WBC has bugger-all to do with religion and everything to do with keeping all of them the front-and-centre of attention. Your moment in the sun becomes a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade. This is getting publicity for the sake of publicity – lots of newspaper headlines and evening TV news coverage – and they don’t care who they psychologically hurt in the process. No amount of pleading will get the WBC to change their tactics, but they will call off their picket line hounds in exchange for extra free airtime. They have got attention-grabbing down to a fine art, and religious intolerance and extreme picketing and outrageous slogans are sure ways of getting attention. 

Their shock-jock tactics do have some rather chilling facets to them. First of these is their use of very young children who the WBC have carry their full-of-hate placards. The children are way too young to remotely comprehend the issues; they just parrot what the adults tell them too without such comprehension. Secondly, if you view their videos, you’ll notice, especially at the end, the narrator’s shit-eating-grin (SEG) expression - “You’re going to hell” (SEG); “Thank God for 9/11” (SEG), etc. The third chilling thing is that all of the numerous spokespersons come across as total believers in the nonsense they’re spouting off. Total sincerity or so it would seem. They have either been coached very well or totally brainwashed. You can just about imagine that bowl of tainted Kool-Aid in the WBC fridge waiting for the appropriate moment to ‘celebrate’ and go to their heavenly reward while everyone else has headed in the opposite direction.

In conclusion, the WBC membership is collectively just a bunch of PR hungry loonies who use religious themes (way out of context by the way) and outrageous tactics to attract attention and publicity as long as they stay ever so barely on the right side of the law while not caring who suffers emotional stress via their rants, raves, pickets, chants, songs, etc. Of course they deny that – it’s all about preaching “God’s hate” – but then again, such a theology is just bound to attract the sort of PR that they in fact, constantly get.

However, as my final wrap-up, there is some good news. Many WBC members, especially some high profile family members of the WBC leading lights, have decided to vote with their feet against the WBC and their version of God and pack it up and leave. Maybe there is a God after all! For details, see the BBC’s follow-up documentary “America’s Most Hated Family in Crisis” (2011).

The other good news trend is that the ungodly great unwashed, all those picketed and consigned to hell by the WBC, are fed up. Counter-pickets and wall-to-wall people blockades to prevent the WBC from strutting their picketing funerals stuff are becoming ever more frequent and so it is coming to pass that the members of the WBC are now tending to be outnumbered by ratios of dozens to one. When some of the counter demonstrators are hell-bent-for-leather motorcyclists, the sort that look as if they’d shoot first and ask questions later, it’s no wonder that it’s further coming to pass that the WBC frequently announces their picket but that’s equally followed by a no-show!   

By the by, if God is really on the side of WBC, you’d think He would have given them heavenly voices with which to sing their hatred songs. Let’s just say if you hear the WBC ‘choir’ sing their picket line songs, you’ll appreciate rap and hip-hop and even ethnic chanting (or is that wailing) in preference. WBC singers – don’t give up your day jobs! But, as an afterthought, perhaps instead WBC should picket with bagpipes a-blowing! That would show the world how much God hates ‘em!

While I’ve presented the above in a slightly less than a pure shock, horror manner, I’ve tried to keep things slightly light-hearted, there’s nothing light-hearted about the way the WBC have treated their victims. The WBC deserves no less than the severest condemnation that all feeling members of civilized society can muster against them. 

Religious Hatred: The Westboro Baptist Church: Part Two

One tends to associate religious intolerance for other religions with bloodshed. The phrase ‘holy wars’ comes to the fore. However, the peace movement has come to religious hatred as well as in all other manner of protest movements. The most famous, or infamous, of the peaceful religious haters is probably the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC). I’m sure many of the recipients of their hate would prefer the days of bloodshed so they could dish a bit something back in return.

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

To give you an idea of exactly what direction the WBC is coming from, here are some of their philosophies (in my own words) that appear to be central to the WBC worldview.

*Harking back to my introductory remarks, it would seem as if the WBC has set itself up as the authority on all that’s holy and godly. In fact, according to them, faith in any other religion is akin to devil worship. Tell that one to the pope; he could always use a good laugh given all the strife his organization is in. Of course it’s that very strife, sexual child abuse, that give the WBC the God-given right to state that the Catholic religion is a false religion, and by-God is the WBC position an example of anti-Catholicism.

*Whatever transpired in the Bible is the absolute literal truth. All events in the Bible panned out because God willed it so. So Noah’s riding the flood wave crests and Sodom & Gomorrah were literal disasters and practice sessions – God’s warm-ups to the coming of God’s Big Crunch against the modern world (presumably as outlined in the Book of Revelation).

*If the Bible says it’s a no-no, then it’s a no-no, and if the USA doesn’t endorse and enforce Biblical no-no’s then God’s going to boot and continue to boot America in the privates! Since America doesn’t endorse and enforce God’s Holy Word, well, anything and everything that’s nasty that befalls America is a sign God is pissed! God hates America! When America gets kicked in the privates, from the untimely death in combat of one soldier to the demise of hundreds in a hurricane – you know who is responsible!

*The Old Testament notwithstanding, God hates the Jews, because the Jews killed Jesus and the Jews support abortion and homosexuality (Biblical no-no’s), so in the opinion of the WBC, God sent the holocaust and thus the Jews got their just deserts.

*Homosexuality (“fags”) is sin number one. It’s the prime target of the WBC. God hates fags! If you’re gay, if you support the gay community, if you condone gay activities, God’s gonna get you! In fact, the entire gay community, all those who aren’t 100% heterosexual, should be put to death in accordance with Old Testament doctrine and practices.

*At least the WBC gets one brownie point since they do not support racism because the Bible doesn’t support racism. The Ku-Klux-Klan is not amused!

*President Obama is the antichrist. [He’s just one of hundreds so identified over the millennia so don’t put too much faith in that procrastination.]

*Any disaster, natural or otherwise (like 9/11), is a direct expression of God’s wrath, and that applies not just to America but anywhere and everywhere else in the world. When an earthquake hits China, or a tsunami hits Japan, or tornadoes rip across the U.S.A., it’s “Thank God” according to the WBC. Cop that you devil worshiping bastards! And that includes Islam. Mohammed gets the Big Finger from the WBC too. 

*There are no innocents. The child in the womb who died in the womb goes straight to hell too.

*You must “Thank God” for everything that happens, because everything that happens happens because God wills it to happen and anything God wills to happen must be for a good reason and thus God should be thanked for bringing you the benefits of His infinite goodness. That includes anything and everything that you may not personally think of as good. So if you’re seriously injured in a car crash, and your child is killed (and who is now in hell), you are to “Thank God” for that because God willed your injury and death and damnation of your child for a good reason (which is that God hates the both of you). Now aren’t you grateful?

*The WBC exists not to spread the word about God’s love, but about “God’s hate”.

*The WBC wants everyone (excepting themselves of course) to die horribly and burn in hell.

*Only the WBC – repeat, ONLY the WBC understands all of this; thus their warnings via those pickets and placards. In their hearts they know their messages will be unheeded, but that’s okay since that leaves them to become the be all and end all of God’s chosen few.

I had a quick check on an online Bible site to see if the Bible (King James Version) used the phrase anywhere that “God hates” – No. I guess the WBC likes putting words in God’s mouth!

I wonder in turn if the God of the Old Testament hates the WBC. He probably does since they’re not doing their full bit to contribute to the terrestrial quota of blood and guts that He likes spilled on His behalf. Actions speak louder than words, and when you come down to the nitty-gritty, the WBC are just spouting off words; lots of hot air. They huff and they puff and though they like dead cops and dead soldiers and dead fags, they won’t pull the trigger themselves. They don’t put their money where their mouths are. They should. It would give them real credibility and of course they could (and would) always claim that God made them do it. Still, the membership of the WBC gets to picket another day if they mind their peaceful ways. You can’t picket from a prison cell.

WBC logic screw-up number one: If in fact, as the WBC says, “God hates everybody” and “God hates America” then of necessity God hates all those members of the WBC since they collectively are part of “everyone” and they reside in America. So there! Though somehow I rather suspect they’d try to wiggle out of that logic somehow.

There’s another facet that shows up how screwy their logic is. Since all of these deaths by 1000 cuts (Katrina, 9/11, the war in Iraq, homicides, etc.) have been going on, and on, and on and on, it appears that God’s wrath is going to be exhibited as the nickel-and-dime-the-world approach to a long dragged out Armageddon. But for every 5 & 10 God’s wrath devours and deposits in hell, another 100 are born. Those births too must be “Thank God” events.  It’s self defeating. My reading is that if God were really that pissed, He wouldn’t toy with us via death by a thousand cuts – a cop here, a soldier there, a mass shooting the day after that with a now and again 9/11 type event thrown into the mix. God would just ring up the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and bring on the Book of Revelation scenario and just sort of nuke us and be done with it. WBC is a few nickels-and-dimes short of a dollar!

Yet another flaw in the WBC version of what passes for logic is their “Thank God for Dead…” The dead of course are those prematurely deceased human beings who are now in hell. But equally the WBC should “Thank God” for their births since of course by their logic God must have been the driving force behind their conceptions in the first bloody place. So that “Thank God for Dead…” makes no Godly sense whatsoever, unless it’s God’s plan to have people born only to be prematurely killed just to thus satisfy the theology of the WBC and give them a reason to picket and keep on preaching their hate. No, something screwy somewhere, like the mindset of the WBC, since when it comes to God and the WBC, logic is damned.  

This entire “Thank God for…” slogan can easily bite the WBC on the ass. Most of the leading lights at the WBC are well educated university graduates. You’d think that maybe they would hold up a sign that says “Thank God for education and academics” and protest that there should be more funding for education and teachers, etc. That would be constructive, but that’s not the way of the WBC – to be constructive that is.

By WBC logic, if you Thank God for dead cops and soldiers, because that’s God’s way, then you must also Thank God for live cops and live soldiers since they presumably are alive because that too is God’s will. Of course you won’t get the WBC to admit to that. If you Thank God for a tornado that kills, you need to Thank God for the rain that grows the crops that feeds all those that God’s wrath hasn’t yet consigned to a place where rain doesn’t fall. If you Thank God for anything that kills the human species, you have to Thank God for all that which doesn’t kill. But there’s no WBC placards that reads Thank God for flowers or baseball or Vietnam Veterans or holidays in Australia. Sorry WBC, you can’t have your cake and eat it too.  

To be continued…

Religious Hatred: The Westboro Baptist Church: Part One

One tends to associate religious intolerance for other religions with bloodshed. The phrase ‘holy wars’ comes to the fore. However, the peace movement has come to religious hatred as well as in all other manner of protest movements. The most famous, or infamous, of the peaceful religious haters is probably the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC). I’m sure many of the recipients of their hate would prefer the days of bloodshed so they could dish a bit something back in return.

All monotheistic religions – and there are many of them – all have as a core value that theirs is the one true religion that represents the one true God and that all other monotheistic religions are false religions and represent a false version of God. That alone immediately leads me to the conclusion that they all are just full of B.S. and that there is no such animal as the one true religion and the one true God. But that’s not my overriding theme here.

Rivalry  between various monotheistic faiths have of course given rise to much inter-religious hatred and stemming from that, much violence and bloodshed. Methinks the God of the Old Testament, a serious fan of blood and gore, would be Lord Almighty pleased!

Anyway, religious hatred come violence has spanned the range from all out warfare, to terrorism, to more localized conflicts. Across the generations, so it has been and so it is now and no doubt so it will be way into the future (if humans don’t breed themselves out of existence first). A definitive list of monotheistic religious conflicts is way too extensive to give here, but Northern Ireland, the Crusades; and 9/11 all come to the mind as examples.   

At least when the holy bombs explode and the holy bullets fly and the holy swords slash away, you know what you’re up against and can strike back accordingly or as best you can.

But there’s religious hatred and violence, and then there’s religious HATRED that replaces physical violence with psychological warfare. No holy bombs, bullets or swords. Violence is replaced with the picket line, the placards, the chants, the songs. This now becomes the new (and improved?) non-violent version of bombs, bullets and swords. But make no doubt, the religious hatred, or in some cases, to make it clear, the HATRED, remains – in spades. To the best of my knowledge organized religious hatred of the peaceful kind is uniquely American. I’d like to say only in America, but I’d probably be corrected quick-smart. Still, God’s own country is awash in religious hatred without a bomb, bullet or sword anywhere in sight.

And so you can express your religious hatreds and carry out those messages and shed not one drop of actual blood and thus stay inside the law since the U.S. Constitution guarantees freedom of speech as long as such speech causes no actual or potential physical harm to others. For example there's no incitement to cause a panic, or to induce a riot or stir up the masses and cause a lynching. Still, what it lacks in doing physical damage is more than made up for in psychological trauma that these picketers direct their “God hates” placards against.  

Now what do civilized people, Americans or otherwise, make of religious picketers that carry placards that have as a central message “God hates…” and variations on the theme. Here are some actual examples of messages written on picket placards: it’s a representative, but hardly exhaustive list:

“America is Doomed; Fag Flag [the Stars & Stripes]; Fag Lover Obama; Fag Soldier in Hell; Fag Troops; Fags Are Beasts; Fags Are Violent; Fags Are Worthy of Death; Fags Die, God Laughs; Fags Doom Nations; Fear God; God Blew Up the Troops; God Hates America; God Hates Divorce; God Hates Fags; God Hates India; God Hates Jews; God Hates Obama; God Hates You; God Is Angry Everyday; God Is Your Enemy; God Killed Your Cops; God Killed Your Sons; God Sent the Shooter [various lone gunman massacres] ; God: USA’s Terrorist; Pray for More Dead Soldiers; Prepare to Meet Thy God; Remember Lot’s Wife; Thank God for 9/11; Thank God for AIDS; Thank God for Dead Cops; Thank God for Dead Soldiers; Thank God for [Hurricane] Katrina; Thank God for IEDs [Improvised Explosive Devices]; The Siege Is Coming; The World is Doomed; USA = Fag Nation; Your Sons Are In Hell; You’re Going to Hell”.

Then there’s a picket chant: “1, 2, 3, 4, God Hates the Marine Corps”.

And their song title: “God Hates the World”.

Pretty disgusting wouldn’t you say? Well, all those and more are brought to you, if not in person, then via your TV or Internet screen, courtesy of the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC), with a home base in Topeka, Kansas, which must be insulting to real Baptists since the WBC has no actual affiliation with any official Baptist organization. They’re a rouge organization, and for all practical purposes, an extended family organization. Well the BBC in a documentary on the WBC called them “The Most Hated Family in America” (2007).

Ah, but what does the WBC picket and why? Well their usual target is funerals and the higher the celebrity profiles of the funeral (victim or attendees) the better. But the funeral has got to have some sort of connection with, in their twisted logic, sins against God. So as long as the funeral has something to which, in their convoluted form of ‘sins against God’ religious logic, they can claim that “God hates” that something back in return. If “God hates” that something, and since the WBC stands shoulder-to-shoulder with God, then the WBC hates that something too and by God are they going to let the world know it!

Funerals are of course especially emotionally-charged occasions; military (killed in action) funerals all the more-so, which of course ramps up the impact the WBC will have, so military (killed in action) funerals are just about Target Number One.

The WBC also pickets other churches, since those churches, obviously, advocates a false religion or theology or god and thus are evil in the sight of the WBC God; and thus the call to arms and person the picket line. As long as something has a connection to something the WBC perceives that their God is against; then the WBC stands ready to picket! Apparently God can’t defend Himself adequately enough against false religions and needs additional moral support!

I spotted in one of their numerous extremist videos the statement that if you took on the WBC, any challenge to them at all, well God would get you for that since a slap in the face to the WBC was a slap in the face to God Almighty. Okay, I’ll take up and swallow their bait. I’m not afraid of their (non-existent) Big Bad God.

To be continued…

Creation: God vs. Science: Part Two

Probably among the most familiar of familiar phrases in the English language is one that starts out “In the beginning God created…” However, there are alternative non-theological variations on that phrase that fall more in the realm of natural philosophy (or as we call it today, science). What’s at stake is the credibility of God’s alleged word vs. the credibility of the word of science. Christians might believe the Bible, but they put their real faith in science when they turn on their TV set or board an aircraft. So too should they put their money on the scientific scenarios of the creations.

In the beginning God said a whole bunch of stuff central to His creation of life, the Universe and everything.*

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

Botany is next up on the creation agenda. Of course you need land and water before you can have a garden (hydroponics and phytoplankton aside) so the ordering is, well, in order. Except God then makes a mistake. He starts off all things botanical with grass, which, truth be known, is a pretty complex and highly evolved plant. There were lots of simpler plants that pre-existed grasses. Even the dinosaurs existed before grass did! What God should have said is that “let the Earth bring forth algae and phytoplankton and mosses and ferns”. That would have been a detail which would have made botanical atheists stand up and take notice of Biblical bona-fides.

But, just when you think the Biblical creations gets things in a reasonable and logical order, here comes the next bit – the creation of the Sun, Moon and stars. The relevant quote, in case there’s any doubt:

Genesis 1:16 And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.

Okay, the Moon and the stars aren’t all that relevant, but what did all those plants, those grasses, herbs and fruit trees, do for solar energy (photosynthesis) before the Sun got created? This is without question a major Biblical screw-up; the height of all that’s illogical in the scientific ordering of things, but then the Bible and science are not exactly bedfellows. Science on the other hand has the Sun and the Earth formed about 4.5 billion years ago – plants came much later on and thus they never lacked for solar energy.

The screw-ups keep on keeping on. Next up we have the creation of marine life and avian life. Unfortunately for God, He screwed up by including whales among marine life. Okay, whales are marine creatures, but they are not fish. Whales are mammals. God apparently created whales before the end of the fifth day of creation. After the fifth day had ended, and the sixth day had begun, God then apparently created mammals, like cattle, and lots of other critters that in the fossil record preceded whales, as well as those things that “creepeth” upon the earth for example (I assume worms and snakes, etc.). What’s the relevant proof?

Genesis 1:21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

We note that whales were created before other beasts as outlined in Genesis 1:24. Yet, as any biologist will outline for you, whales evolved from land mammals and went back to a marine habitat. Whales are a relatively recent product of natural selection. They were hardly an animal that kicked off the mammalian branch of the tree of life, contrary to what God says. 

Take as a further example the creation of the male and female of the human species, which is I’m sure a bit more relevant and personal to all you readers. The barebones (as it were) were given in Genesis 1:26. Now, finally, God gives out the details!  

Genesis 2:7 And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

Genesis 2:21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

Genesis 2:22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

Well at least now we get some sort of explanation – the male created from common dust; the female from the masculine rib. Details are still thin on the (dusty) ground, but the dust-and-rib theory is at least something that scientists can explore and play around with. Hands up all of you who attended high school biology class or university Biology 101 and got the dust-and-rib explanation? I thought so. Biologists have found a more convincing explanation. If you don’t need dust, and you don’t need ribs, then you don’t need God either in the equation. That aside…    

Now if you’re a male, are you overjoyed that your original alpha-male ancestor was made out of ordinary everyday garden-variety dust? Would you be happy if you had been made out of dust motes? If you’re a female, does it tickle your fancy that you’re (well your sex is) just a second generation afterthought (there is quite a break in Genesis between Adam’s creation and Eve’s coming to the party); a creation from a masculine rib? Does any of this strike you as slightly ridiculous? That’s all the more so since the creation of the original alpha-male and alpha-female afterthought was just a one-off. Post-dust and post-rib it was creation by that time-honoured mechanism – sex, which is smelly and messy and rather hit-or-miss. I mean hey, if dust and ribs work, well when you’re on a winner, stick to the original blueprint. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. God should have left the dust-and-rib instruction manual behind. So, if a modern loving couple wants a bouncing baby boy, well a bit of housework will round up the raw material. If it’s a little girl, well hubby can have a rib job at the local clinic. Okay, that’s ridiculous. But if it’s ridiculous now, it was equally ridiculous back then.

Now kindly note another creation screw-up here. We’re all familiar with the concept of day and night; morning and evening. Now the question is what celestial object is responsible for there being light and darkness, day and night, morning and evening? Did I hear you suggest that the Sun was the orb responsible? If so, go to the head of the class.

But it comes to pass that we have this verse:

Genesis 1:5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

And then we have this verse (repeated from above):

Genesis 1:16 And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.

So the upshot here is that day and night, morning and evening, existed prior to the creation of the Sun. Wow! Neat magician’s trick that!

Now kindly note yet another creation screw-up here.

Recall: Genesis 1:25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

Recall: Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Now recall: Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone.

Now recall: Genesis 2:19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them.

In Biblical parlance, this is the equivalent of the chicken and egg question. Which came first, man or beast? The Bible provides statements for both that’s can’t both be correct, so take your pick. Whichever you pick, the alternative then has to be nonsense. Odds are neither version is correct.

Now if God is perfect, there can be no Biblical screw-ups. If there are Biblical screw-ups, then either God isn’t perfect or the Bible is NOT God’s Holy Word. A reasonable explanation is that the Bible was written by non-perfect humans, and God doesn’t exist since the errors, the screw-ups, were never corrected by Him. God never proofread His own Holy Words!

One further anomaly that proves just about beyond any doubt that Genesis is the work of man and not of God; we note the endless repetition of “And God said.” My question – prior to Adam, just who was around back then to copy down anything that God said? And if the answer to that is nobody, then presumably God is just talking to Himself! Or, more likely as not, the entirety of Genesis, creation and all, is just an early example of what would later become known as science fiction.

*Kindly note that all Biblical references have been taken from the Book of Genesis that appear in the King James Version of the Bible.

Creation: God vs. Science: Part One

Probably among the most familiar of familiar phrases in the English language is one that starts out “In the beginning God created…” However, there are alternative non-theological variations on that phrase that fall more in the realm of natural philosophy (or as we call it today, science). What’s at stake is the credibility of God’s alleged word vs. the credibility of the word of science. Christians might believe the Bible, but they put their real faith in science when they turn on their TV set or board an aircraft. So too should they put their money on the scientific scenarios of the creations.

In the beginning God said a whole bunch of stuff central to His creation of life, the Universe and everything.*

Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

Genesis 1:3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. [God creates photons and electromagnetic energy.]

Genesis 1:6 And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. [This makes little sense, but it’s a division of heavenly ‘waters’ from the earthly ‘waters’. There’s earthly ‘waters’, and then there’s everything else above the earthly ‘waters’ – the firmament.]

Genesis 1:9 And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so. [The distinction between land and sea is noted as the earthly ‘waters’ undergo a partial phase change.]

Genesis 1:11 And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. [Botany makes an appearance.]

Genesis 1:14 And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years. [The creation of the Sun, the Moon and the stars is noted.]

Genesis 1:20 And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven. [God creates fish (including whales) and birds.]

Genesis 1:24 And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so. [Add to that the invertebrates, mammals, reptiles and amphibians.]

Genesis 1:26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.

Genesis 2:1 Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.

These are statements, but not explanations, far less adequate explanations. It’s akin to sleight of hand, the snap of the fingers, the waving of a magic wand. Its parlour tricks that dazzle but you’re left none the wiser. You’re awed by magicians’ tricks because you can’t figure out how they do them; and they’re not telling!

We note by the way that microbes, bacteria, viruses, unicellular critters, etc. don’t get a mention in Genesis. There’s no “And God said, let there be microbes”. That’s one major omission. Of course humans didn’t have microscopes back then and I guess God forgot to tell His scribes about the reality of the greater part of Earth’s biomass so that’s why they didn’t get a mention. All of God’s creations would fall apart at the atomic seams if it wasn’t for the strong nuclear force, so why didn’t God take credit for that? Okay, so the human author(s) of Genesis presumably didn’t know much about atomic physics, but they did know about gravity (the force that really dominates the Universe, including much of reality back on Terra Firma, including much of their reality. So why no “And God said, let there be gravity”? 

Those significant omissions aside, and they are significant, religion, as in the Bible, gives you various creation statements as we’ve seen. If the Bible gives you creation explanations of any kind, they are downright weird, if not supernatural, and certainly not verifiable explanations. Science tries to give you logical explanations for creation events and to the best of its ability, verifiable explanations.

So, God created the “heaven and the earth”. Heaven apparently is as in all things not earth – the rest of the cosmos. Out of what did God create heaven and earth? Out of nothing? Out of some pre-existing primordial matter that presumably God didn’t create but had available to Him as a raw resource? Or, alternatively, if He did create this primordial stuff, then He then took some time out to figure out what to do with it. Decisions, decisions! I mean if God is immortal; and the heaven (cosmos) and earth aren’t, then a lot of water passed under the bridge between God, and God’s creation of heaven and earth. In any event, where are the details? If I told you I had created a jumbo jet in my heavenly garden shed, you’d ask questions. You’d require the nitty-gritty details, as in made out of what, and what size – life-size or toy model – and can it fly. Was it carved or assembled from pre-existing parts or were the parts all created from scratch, and if so where did I get the raw materials from? 

Now even I have to admit, when it comes down to the creation of “heaven” (the Universe or cosmos presumably), scientists (cosmologists) come out with some pretty far-out-star-scout statements too. And some pretty far-out-star-scout details, but at least there are details. The nitty-gritty is that 13.7 billions years ago (science – vs. 4004 BCE God), there was a Big Bang which somehow created the Universe (matter, energy, time and space) from nothing, and to top off the silliness, that all happened in a space way, way, way smaller than a pinhead. Pull the other one fellows! However, at least they do have some observational evidence – runs on the board – to support at least the 13.7 billion year ago event (though little else), evidence which the 4004 BCE Biblical version lacks. For example, there’s the measured redshifts of the galaxies which suggest the cosmos is expanding. Reinforcing that there’s the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMBR) – the temperature of the cosmos – which keeps getting cooler as the cosmos expands. CMBR measurement meets CMBR theory. Also an area when observation matches prediction is the cosmic ratio of hydrogen to helium. So, the Big Bang has runs (as in details and evidence) on the board. Genesis 1:1 doesn’t.

The “earth” part on the other hand has science on a far, far firmer ground. Astronomers have certainly witnessed the overall process by which extra-solar planetary systems are currently forming, and extrapolation then gives the process that created our Sun and planets, including the Earth, isn’t difficult. In brief, it goes something like this. Interstellar dust clouds rotate and contract due to gravity. Contraction down into a much relatively smaller volume makes for extreme heat and pressure. That heat and pressure eventually triggers nuclear fusion – a star is born. The surrounding debris under gravity contracts to much smaller bodies where the heat and pressure isn’t quite enough to trigger fusion. Those smaller bodies become the orbiting planets – like Earth. As I said, observations are made, explanations are given and details are, well, detailed. So when it comes to accounting for the creation of the Earth, it’s science on top by a mile, or two or ten.

As to the creation, or separation, of land and sea, well you certainly don’t need supernatural processes to account for that. Take a lump of mud or sand; add water; stir until everything is a uniform mixture or slurry. Let stand. What happens? The mud/sand sinks or settles to the bottom (gravity again) and you have separation of church and state – sorry, land and water. Science trumps God again. The Bible should have mentioned gravity and density, but it failed to do so. The Bible should have also mentioned the atmosphere when noting the separation of the land from the waters. Somehow God forgot to mention His role in separating out the atmosphere from the lithosphere and from the hydrosphere. That’s another major oversight IMHO. 

To be continued…

*Kindly note that all Biblical references have been taken from the Book of Genesis that appear in the King James Version of the Bible.

When Religious Aliens Come Knocking: Part Two

Aliens, as in extraterrestrials, come in all manner of shapes and sizes at least according to science fiction authors, TV produces, filmmakers and even scientists. We have to rely on them since we don’t yet have an alien on the slab in the lab for verification. Our potential aliens also have all manner of philosophies and intentions – invasion and sex usually dominate. But what about religion: their existence and impact on our religion and of greater importance, their religion’s impact on us. 

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

When it comes to ET, the traditional Hollywood image, often reinforced by some scientists, is that when the aliens come calling, it will be with ray-guns blasting away (like in “The War of the Worlds”), unless they are sneaky like in “Village of the Damned” plus sequel “Children of the Damned”, or “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” (several versions). Justification for depicting ET as nasty is often given based on terrestrial histories of invasions and conquests. A warfare scenario pessimist is hardly ever disappointed; a peace scenario optimist frequently is.

But let’s look on the bright side. ET arrives and there’s not a ray-gun in sight. It’s the dawn of a new and enlightened era! But let’s substitute their ray-gun replacing it for their extraterrestrial religious text, a text in which ET worships the Almighty Green Slime Supreme Being, Lord of All That Oozes (or in Hollywood fare, “The Blob”).

Okay, so based on religious tolerances (or lack of same) as expressed within and by terrestrial societies, what can we expect from ET? When it comes to a religiously inclined and pushy ET, well that’s hardly ever mentioned as a possible scenario, but ultimately it’s really terrifying, in a potential sort of way. A fanatical religious ET vis-à-vis an invading ET, is perhaps a more likely ET and what we may really need to worry about is that they’ll come in peace alright, but as fervent missionaries to spread the word that their version of a supreme being [the Almighty Green Slime Supreme Being, Lord of All That Oozes] is the only true version of a supreme being and that all of us terrestrial heathen, pagan infidels had better see the error of our untrue faiths and convert to their extraterrestrial theology quick-smart.

More likely as not ET won’t be Jesus-like and certainly won’t allow themselves to be nailed to a cross (or a higher-tech version); they will probably be more along the lines of the Conquistadors or perhaps akin the Inquisition, or even worse Koran-thumping Islamic extremist-types. After all, they have to be very, very strongly motivated to come out to our neck of the boonies, and they are going to want favorable results, or else. All hail the Almighty Great Green Slime Supreme Being, Lord of All That Oozes!

Now here’s a very rough translation and commentary on the first few bars (it’s also an opera) of ET’s “Holy eBook of Slime and Ooze”. It goes something like this:

“Once upon a time the Almighty Great Green Slime Supreme Being, Lord of All That Oozes, ejaculated and gave rise to the Holy Ooze and the Holy Ooze was without form and the Almighty Great Green Slime Supreme Being, Lord of All That Oozes felt that this was how it should be and everything was Almighty fine. And that ended the First Great Cycle of Cycles.

On the Second Great Cycle of Cycles, Ms. Almighty Great Green Slime Supreme Being, Lord of All That Oozes took her less than better half partner, the Almighty Great Green Slime Supreme Being, Lord of All That Oozes to task for creating a Holy Oozy Mess and told her less than better half, the Almighty Great Green Slime Supreme Being, Lord of All That Oozes to clean it up, or else! And so it came to pass that the Almighty Great Green Slime Supreme Being, Lord of All That Oozes swept the Holy Ooze all under the Heavenly Cosmic Carpet. 

But the Almighty Great Green Slime Supreme Being, Lord of All That Oozes wasn’t through with His creation, and under cover of the Cosmic Night, He played with His toy biochemistry set and infused animation into the Holy Ooze that had been swept under the Heavenly Cosmic Carpet. And that was the Third of the Great Cycles.

The animated Holy Ooze multiplied in an Oozy sort of way and expanded outwards, ever outwards from under the Heavenly Cosmic Carpet and the Almighty Great Green Slime Supreme Being, Lord of All That Oozes was Almighty pleased and totally up Himself with His skills. And thus was concluded the Fourth Great Cycle of Cycles. 

On the Fifth Great Cycle of Cycles, Ms. Almighty Great Green Slime Supreme Being, Lord of All That Oozes, totally fed up with her less than better half, packed her Heavenly Duffle Bags and left the Almighty Great Green Slime Supreme Being, Lord of All That Oozes for even greener pastures. She moved in with the step-brother of the Almighty Great Green Slime Supreme Being, Lord of All That Oozes. His name was the Greater Greener Slime Being, who, unfortunately had fallen from Grace [mutiny I believe] and had been stripped of his Almighty Supreme title and status – such are the fates in family disputes and Wars in Heaven between rivals for power.” 

And it goes on and on and on from there, over ten eBook volumes worth that kind of make the Bible read like a short story. But in a bit of a twist, a role reversal, the underdog, the Greater Greener Slime Being ultimately triumphs and comes out on top to become the new Almighty Greater Greener Slime Supreme Being. Well after all the Almighty Great Green Slime Supreme Being, Lord of All That Oozes really was a bit of a twit.

 The former Greater Greener Slime Being and the former Almighty Great Green Slime Supreme Being, Lord of All That Oozes’ Ex – His more than better half – together, it is prophesized, will have a child who ultimately will become the role model for, obviously, “The Son of the Blob”, who is to grow so blobby that His massive gravity will prove enough to cause the Heavenly Cosmic Carpet and all that it contains (life, the universe and everything) to roll up in on itself and turn into a singularity. It will be the End of Days, the Cycles of Cycles – the Big Crunch will have arrived! If I recall correctly, that Last Great Cycle is numbered somewhere over the million mark of all things Cyclic. Amen.

Although you’d hope that advanced alien beings would have long since out-evolved such religious nonsense, that’s not a given. That missionary scenario is even more frightening than them coming here with their ray-guns blasting away IMHO. So if those extraterrestrial evangelists come knocking at your door, with tales about the Holy Ooze, or the Almighty Greater Greener Slime Supreme Being, be afraid, be very afraid!

When Religious Aliens Come Knocking: Part One

Aliens, as in extraterrestrials, come in all manner of shapes and sizes at least according to science fiction authors, TV produces, filmmakers and even scientists. We have to rely on them since we don’t yet have an alien on the slab in the lab for verification. Our potential aliens also have all manner of philosophies and intentions – invasion and sex usually dominate. But what about religion: their existence and impact on our religion and of greater importance, their religion’s impact on us. 

There has been an awful lot of ink spilled over many, many a decade on the question of what the discovery of an advanced extraterrestrial civilization would mean for terrestrial religions, especially the Big Three – Judaism, Christianity and Islam. That’s mainly because the Bible (and associated texts) make no mention of ET, and thus human beings are the one and only apex of God’s creations. Discovery of ET would throw that alleged apex into more than just a bit of theological confusion.

However, theologians tend to make light of this and suggest along the lines that there’s an awful lot of real estate out there, and since God can do whatever He damn well pleases, well maybe He populated some of that real estate with one or more extraterrestrial societies. I mean the Bible doesn’t mention Antarctica or penguins. The discovery of both didn’t upset the religious applecart, so why are aliens relevant to vie for Biblical space and commentary and why should they, if they exist, upset the religious applecart?

In short, one answer boils down to, is everything out there in parallel with everything down here, at least as far as the big three monotheistic faiths go? Do all planets with intelligent aliens have extraterrestrial Adams and Eves that muck up their alien Gardens of Eden and get the boot? Do all alien civilizations have sin, a flood, a Chosen People, a Promised Land, etc? 

Now apparently the biggest of the big theological question is, assuming the existence of ET civilizations, is whether or not Jesus (assuming the reality of a Jesus of course – not a given) visited these worlds and got subjected to the ET equivalent of The Cross. Did Jesus have to hitch a ride on interstellar spaceships in order to get to all those other sinful other-worlds, assuming those other-worlds are sinful other-worlds?  Methinks the questions are as similar to how many angels dance on the head of a pin!

IMHO, the odds that our religious histories in broad-brush form would happen on each and every other-world housing an extraterrestrial civilization is so remote as to not be worthy of even two seconds of pondering. 

Okay, so if UFOs land on the White House lawn tomorrow, or radio astronomers detect obviously artificial radio signals from an extra-solar other-world planet that’s home to ET, big deal. Church attendance will probably not alter greatly, at least after the initial shock. If those of the monotheistic faiths embrace all of humanity as equals, then it’s not a huge step upwards to embracing extra-solar ‘humanity’ – ET – as equals as well. 

But, and this is a very real but, what if our advanced aliens are not just technologically advanced aliens, but theologically  advanced aliens, who in fact have a theology that bears no similarity with any terrestrial theology! Then what? Might ET take a leaf out of our religious histories and violently preach their version of hell, fire and brimstone to us? What leaf you ask? 

The basic reality is that members of the trilogy of major monotheistic religions (and lots of minor ones as well) have in the past wished, and continue to wish, to impose their beliefs by any means fair or foul (usually foul) on anyone and everyone else. If fact, all too often those wishes were turned into reality.

If one had to list all of the atrocities inflicted on various cultures by Christian missionaries, including the abduction and indoctrination of young children, well let’s just say comparisons with the Nazi Third Reich regime wouldn’t be all that inappropriate. From across Africa to the Pacific Islands and points beyond, it was the Christian duty of the faithful to force-feed if necessary their religious doctrines to all those thus far spared monotheism fanaticism. And it wasn’t just a matter of polytheistic to monotheistic conversion, it was the absolute and total destruction of anything and everything part and parcel of their ‘pagan’ traditional beliefs that had to be eliminated, so much so that most of the culture, say of the Aztecs and the Incas, have now been lost forever – thanks due to God, or rather His ever faithful representatives.

Then throw in the Inquisition, the Crusades, and all manner of Holy Wars and God’s Old Testament reign of terror has been taken to heart by the faithful whose duty is to see that it is ‘to be continued’ and on, and on, and on it goes. Your option: be a living Christian; or a dead pagan. Well there’s an exception to that – the last of the Inca emperors was given this option: a relatively quick and easy death as a born-again Christian, or a very slow and very painful death as a pagan. Needless to say Christianity won out yet again. Belief in God can be very persuasive when you’re faced with being burned at the stake as an alternative.  

Albeit more civilized today, the indoctrination goes on. It might be religious fanatics picketing in front of abortion clinics or forcing public schools to delete Darwinism (Darwinian evolution) from their curricula and replace it with Creationism or Intelligent Design (you’d think that had been settled once and for all with the 1925 Scopes Trial). It often takes the form of all those televangelists knocking your socks off and all those religious billboard signs warning you of this, that and the next sinful thing. Then of course there are those ever pestering Bible-pushing Christians knocking at your door, eager beavers telling you how much God loves you, but in return for a donation He’ll love you even more!

But take note, its God the singular, not gods the plural. I mean is it a God / Jesus Bible-thumper who bangs on your door or is it an Osiris / Odin / Quetzalcoatl / Zeus, etc. person who disturbs your peace and quiet, trying to convert you to the wisdom of polytheism? Did I hear you say God / Jesus? I thought so. Despite the fact that the Bible isn’t a legal document like a search warrant or a summons, it nevertheless seems to give Bible-pushers carte blanch to do whatever they please, as long as the Bible tells them it’s okay to do it, like chewing your ear off (not literally of course) with tales of hell, fire and brimstone and trying to scare the shit out of you into making a donation to the cause. 

If there were any polytheistic cultures who tried to ram their gods down the throat of other cultures I’m not aware of them, which is not the same as other cultures assimilating the gods of another culture. As an example, there ultimately proved to be an amalgamation of ancient Greek and Egyptian deities. Ramming has been the ‘divine right’ and privilege of monotheistic cults and examples, including all of the very graphic details, would fill an encyclopaedia. Would aliens perceive their having a ‘divine right’ to ram their theology down our throats? Yes, if our own history is an example. If God is on your side, you can do no wrong!

In the history of our terrestrial civilization, there have been lots and lots of refugees. Many are economic, escaping poverty by chasing that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow away from their homeland where it never rains (thus no rainbow). Some are political. Some are for racial / racism reasons. A fair share of all refugees, past and present, are religious refugees, an obvious example being the Pilgrims that migrated to the United States of America before there was such a name as the United States. So the issue of religious freedom, or freedom from having someone else’s religion rammed down your throat, is not trivial.

To be continued…

Those Tall Tales of Biblical Disasters: Part Two

Despite what you might hear in church, or view on Christian websites, the Bible isn’t all about those ten Godly commandments, loving your neighbour, doing onto others, mercy, forgiveness, compassion, truth,  justice and everlasting life. Star Wars aside, there’s a dark side to the Force. Even apart from hell, fire and brimstone and lots of sins and sinning, there’s much death and destruction all around. The Bible is full of tales of disasters that rival anything Mother Nature has conjured up. 

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

*Ten Disasters Rolled Into One: The Ten Plagues of Egypt (Exodus)

Despite there being no confirmation in ancient Egyptian historical records for these Biblical plagues, any of the first nine could have a natural explanation. I mean pestilences happen; ditto droughts/famine; locust swarms are hardly a novelty; even the Nile turning to blood can be seen to be just an ordinary toxic algae bloom – the ‘red tide’ common in other warm waters around the world, like the Gulf of Mexico.

The Tenth Plague however can not be attributed to a natural cause – death to all the Egyptian firstborn was literally a Deliberate Act of God; a deliberately calculated act of cold-blooded murder. Now, and most likely the case, it never happened and that’s supported by the fact that no such event is recorded in ancient Egyptian texts and it’s an event that can hardly have been unnoticed and been glossed over. If that’s so, then the related Passover celebration is a total fraud/fabrication. If on the other hand it happened as the Bible said it did, then God should be tried for crimes against humanity (specifically in this case crimes against the ancient Egyptian peoples), imprisoned for life with no hope of parole, since I assume He cannot be executed, though it would be justified, methinks.

*More Death by Drowning (Exodus)

To add insult to injury, I suppose one could also include the drowning of pharaoh’s army (Exodus) as a ‘natural’ disaster. There’s never an Ark around when you really need one! But gee whiz, gosh golly, guess what? Historians, and bookkeepers and accountants back in ancient Egypt somehow forgot to include the loss of all those chariots, horses and soldiers in their official inventories and recordkeeping. When you have that sort of appalling loss, scapegoats are found; heads roll. Alas, there’s also no record of any scapegoat or rolling heads over this unrecorded calamity. At least ancient Rome acknowledged that it lost their entire Ninth Legion, so something is screwy about Egyptian bookkeeping – or about the accounting in the Book of Exodus! 

*Your Numbers Are Up (Numbers)

If earthquakes and plagues (as in disease) are disasters, then the Book of Numbers is the place to find them (after Genesis and Exodus of course). There is dissention in the ranks of the Chosen People out there in the Sinai Wilderness and so there’s mutiny afoot and the Biblical equivalent of Captain Bligh (i.e. – God) will not be denied His wrath. The major mutiny ends with a bang and not a whimper. It ends when God kills thousands (14,700 – Numbers 16:49) of His Chosen People with a plague (love those germs) and a fiery earthquake (God’s hot to trot His shake, rattle and roll which kills another 250 - Numbers 16:32; 16:35 and 26:10) as punishment for rumblings in the ranks. Further on down the Wilderness track we have the episode of the ‘golden calf’ mark II (i.e. more idols; more idle worship). So God, knowing that His Chosen People didn’t build up sufficient immunity from His last bout of germ warfare, sends another – the local undertaker gets to bury another 24,000 Israelites (Numbers 25:9).

Turning now to the New Testament...

*The Ultimate Mother of All Disasters: Armageddon or the Apocalypse of Revelation

Here we are presented with destruction on a massive scale; the end of days; the end of the world; more hell, fire and brimstone (cubed) all around. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Conquest (or Pestilence depending on interpretation), War, Famine and Death. This of course hasn’t happened yet (though it should have by roughly 100 CE according to Jesus), so it’s still in the ‘what if’ category, though actually I think that should read ‘iffy’ category. 

There are certainly potential natural scenarios that could easily mimic the Book of Revelation’s scenario, at least in terms of total firepower (or should that be Four Horsepower). Since this is near global destruction, we need something slightly bigger than a hurricane or an earthquake. All out nuclear or biological warfare might be a parallel, but then I’ve ruled out wars (and rumours of war) from the legit disaster category, though that might be little consolation if your city is nuked or if you’re infected deliberately with the bubonic plague. I’m thinking more along the lines here of an asteroid impact, as in the films “Armageddon” or “Deep Impact” (and a good dozen clones of these), though a good old nearby supernovae blast or gamma-ray burst would do the job nicely. Maybe there’s a Black Hole nearby which our solar system might be drifting towards. Gulp! In any event there’s a happy ending since out of the ashes the Phoenix (a new heaven and a new earth) will rise again.  

In conclusion, then as now, natural disasters inspire the creation of newer, better, bigger disasters: ten-fold the death count; twenty-fold the destruction. Of course this additional creation resides either in the land of pure fiction (browse your local DVD store and bookshop for examples), or at least as vastly embellished natural ones that actually happened, tales told well away from where they happened so no one’s the wiser. That F2 twister that passed several miles away from you now turns into an F5 that passed right overhead after several retellings!  

Since there is no supporting evidence for any of the Biblical disasters, I think it’s prudent to assign them to the category of, if not 100% fiction, then to the realm of greatly exaggerated campfire tall tales. As for Revelation, let’s just say that if it hasn’t happened by now, it’s not going to.