The ‘Miracle of the Sun’ at Fatima (1917)

UFOs aren’t anything new. In fact, if my premise is correct, that the polytheistic gods (including the monotheistic God) were not deities but extraterrestrials (‘ancient astronauts’) then their aerial and sometimes fiery chariots so often referred to in mythology were nothing but shuttlecraft out of their mother-ships or star-ships – what we might now term UFOs. For a possible example, consider a tale from Portugal in 1917, a tale of the dancing Sun.

Mythologies are full of events that could be interpreted, if they happened instead within the last six plus decades, as a UFO event. The ‘Star of Bethlehem’ and ‘Wheel of Ezekiel’ are both cases in point from Biblical mythology. Many of the mythological ‘gods’ or characters rode around in aerial or fiery chariots, perhaps akin to what was seen at Fatima in 1917. A UFO chariot by any other name is still a UFO chariot even if by 1917 no one interprets unknown flying (or dancing) lights in the sky as actual ‘chariots’. On the other hand, the phrases ‘unidentified flying objects’ or ‘flying saucers’ weren’t yet in vogue. So post ‘chariot’ mythology, yet pre our modern UFO era, we have neither ‘chariots’ nor ‘flying saucers’ but perhaps a dancing Sun. 

Okay, so we have possible Biblical, therefore religious, UFOs associated with Ezekiel (that ‘Wheel’), the Birth of Christ (‘Star’ of Bethlehem), Jonah (inside the belly of the UFO), and Joshua (who was provided some additional illumination by some UFOs). Another classic and more plausible UFO event in a religious context was the so-called ‘miracle of the Sun’ which occurred on 13 October 1917 near Fatima in Portugal.

As the story goes and unfolds, we have three children out mucking about in the fields doing your typical child thing (actually they were herding sheep) when behold they receive a vision of a lovely lady in May 1917 who is reputed to be the Virgin Mary. They receive all sorts of wondrous messages and prophecies from her as well as being required to do rituals of prayer and penance and all those other things required of the faithful.  Of course who is going to take the word of three kids regarding their visions which kept repeating monthly like a stuck LP? It takes a little while, a while which also included some rather brutal treatment of the kids at the hands of officialdom, but the kids finally convince their elders and Doubting Thomas’s that they aren’t pulling pranks and are really telling the God’s honest truth! But, to put the matter to rest, a miracle was promised by the Virgin Mary (otherwise called ‘Our Lady of Fatima’) as related by those three young children to occur on that date – the 13^th of October noted above – at High Noon (if I recall correctly).

Of course a large and expectant crowd gathered on the commons to witness whatever miracle was about to unfold. Although the weather on the day was petty wet, just in time the Sun broke through the thinning overcast clouds and made an appearance. The gathered crowd, some 30,000 to 100,000 in number (the usual figure is given as roughly 70,000) saw some highly unusual luminous phenomena. Witnesses spoke of the Sun appearing to change colors, rotate like a wheel, and do zigzags and in general perform an aerial version of the tango. Now a key point being here those witnesses were able to actually look directly with no discomfort at the Sun – if Sun it was.

Now not everyone saw the same things, and witnesses gave widely varying descriptions of the ‘Sun's dance’. Not all witnesses reported in fact seeing the Sun ‘dance’. Some people only saw the radiant colors, and others, including some believers, saw nothing at all. The phenomenon (in various guises) however was claimed to have been witnessed by most people in the crowd as well as by people many miles away.

However, and why is this of little surprise, no movement or other phenomenon of the Sun was registered by scientists at the time. Since scientists observed no actual movement of the Sun; since it was a generally overcast day, it’s probable the witnesses to the ‘Sun dance’ and the changing of the colors, wasn’t the real Sun at all but was a bona-fide UFO, making an appearance on schedule to bring credibility to the prophecy, the kids and the apparently supernatural nature of the Virgin Mary apparition.

Since it’s blatantly clear that a ‘dancing Sun’ is a violation of celestial physics some other explanation(s) have to be advanced to account for what happened. Could it have been a UFO?

Here are your options: 1) A Supernatural God, on behalf of His favourite girl, the Virgin Mary, works a miracle and allows a whole lot of people to watch the Sun do cartwheels in defiance of celestial physics; 2) There was no such event in reality and witnesses were smoking a bit too much of the good stuff - the option any sane betting person would take except it’s hard to discount 70,000 eyewitnesses and the many statements attesting to the event which are on the public record; 3) the story has some sort of foundation, in which case the violation of basic celestial physics – the Sun doesn’t and can’t dance in the sky - was only apparent and had to have been something else. Sceptics suggest it was anything from mass hallucinations/wishful thinking, to false images caused by staring at the real Sun to an optical phenomenon called a mock sun or sundog (though that would be a hell of a coincidence). But, perhaps that something else, had it been post-June 1947, might have been termed a UFO.  

One cautionary note which is probably not overly relevant but for what it’s worth, I’ve been briefly fooled on two separate occasions by an optical illusion caused by a combination of a rapidly moving overcast or broken cloud cover and a stationary light source. In the first case, the disc of the Sun was just barely visible through the rapidly moving overcast. The second case involved stars seen through a rapidly moving broken cloud cover. The illusion is that you can fool yourself into thinking that it’s the cloud cover that’s stationary, and, in my two cases, the disc and the stars that were actually moving. The probable flaws here as Fatima explanations is that the illusion provides linear motion not erratic movements; you quickly realise your error when it’s obvious you’re watching what you think is a rapidly moving object yet the position/tilt of your head doesn’t shift at all, even after several minutes, thereby confirming that the object wasn’t moving at all.   

But wait, there’s more! In addition to the Sun doing a zigzag tango, apparently all the rather (just before the big event) wet to the core witnesses and the rather soggy and muddy ground near instantly dried up as the celestial show unfolded! Since not even the real Sun can dry out all things drenched in a matter of minutes, something else must have been afoot. If the ‘big dry’ is true, and many so claim it to be, that’s got to rule out hallucinations, false images and mock suns/sundogs.

There’s actually way, way more to the Fatima story than just the original visions of the three children leading up to the ‘miracle of the Sun’ event. For example there are the three secrets of Fatima, prophecies and visions that were given to the children by Our Lady of Fatima, a.k.a. the Virgin Mary. Unfortunately, two of the original children who witnessed the original apparition died shortly after the original events of influenza; the third went on to becoming a nun, only passing away in 2005. These prophesies, the first two released in 1941, had things to do with visions of hell; Russia and the world wars, while the third has been shrouded in controversy, is a major topic in its own right, but falls well outside the point of this essay, as does the relationship between various popes and the entire Fatima story. Needless to say that third secret may, or may not have been released by the Catholic Church depending on your bent towards conspiracy theories.  

That entire chapter aside, the other interesting bit was that it was widely tipped, a prediction apparently made by ‘Our Lady of Fatima’ back in 1917 that there would be some sort of super-duper light show in the sky just prior to the start of another great war. Well, make of that what you will, but a super-duper aurora borealis, the likes of which hadn’t been seen since 1709, took place on 25 January 1938. Hitler the of course strutted his stuff in Austria a month later and the rest, as they say, is history.

As another aside, the events were depicted in a 1952 feature film titled “The Miracle of Our Lady of Fatima”. It was promoted as a factually-based treatment of the events surrounding the apparitions of Our Lady of Fatima to the three children which kick-started off the subsequent events in 1917. A more recent retelling was the 2009 film “The 13^th Day”.

Extraterrestrial Angels: Part Two

My philosophy tends to be that behind every mountain of mythology lies a molehill of reality. It’s just a matter of trying to figure out what that hidden needle-in-a-haystack reality might be without access to the actual needle. Take the case of angels. I think a better reality would have them as angelic extraterrestrials relative to the mythological ‘winged’ entities that really aren’t represented as such (winged, that is) in the Bible and similar texts.

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

One of the numerous aspects dealing with angels is that they have a hierarchy – not all angels are equal in rank and status.

From the First Sphere come the Seraphim. You have apparently someone called the Metatron, an angel who acts as the ‘voice of God’, a scribe, and is the tallest and greatest of the lot. ‘He’s’ sort of the chief cook and bottle washer in Heaven’s highest level.

From the Second Sphere you have the governor or watcher angels who, well, as your typically obedient angels just sort of watch over humanity in general. However, disguised as men, they associated with humans in an all too human manner. According to Enoch, and Genesis 6,  those “sons of God” or “sons of Heaven”  (angels) got a tad horny and mated with human females (the “daughters of men”) producing the Nephilim, those giants back on the Earth in those ancient days! Perhaps the watcher angels watched a tad more closely than they should have! Could an angel really be a ‘peeping Tom’?

Lastly, from the Third Sphere, those messenger and battle ready angels. The best known of the lot are the archangels who are very high-ranking angels indeed, starting with Michael, Gabriel and Raphael, but followed by Uriel, Simiel, Orifiel and Zachariel.

Then there are the ‘fallen angels’ who were court-martialed and stripped of their status and rank. They play no real role in this discussion and thus are of no further concern to us.

Now not all monotheistic religious denominations embrace or adopt all of the above hierarchy. Maybe there should be a theological equivalent of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle well known in quantum physics. Let’s call it by a rather unimaginative phrase the ‘Religious Uncertainty Principle’. That’s a truism in that no two monotheistic religious denominations agree on everything which alone makes supernatural theology a bit suspect considering the alleged importance of a supernatural deity.  

In fact, you’d think the deity in question, and we all know who I’m referring to here (three letters starting with ‘G’), would take steps to clarify things. I mean if there are a dozen biographies written about you out there for sale on the market, and they all differ in key details about your life, wouldn’t you go ‘on the record’ and sort things out? 

Anyway, the upshot is that angels have a hierarchy and ranks and various jobs and responsibilities which are the sorts of things you’d expect if angels were really crew on an ET vessel that came to Earth a few thousand years ago. The parallel with crewing any navy ship or those spaceships depicted in “Star Trek” are clear-cut.    

Now what about the cherubim (mentioned above) that are depicted in the Bible; depicted with wings?

The cherubim (singular is cherub) are actually Assyrian in origin. They were depicted as enormous eagle-winged beings with the bodies of lions though usually with human heads (lammasu) or human heads and the bodies of bulls (shedu). Even though they were depicted as guardians, they don’t sound very Biblically angelic to me! However, it was these beasties, a composite of some things human and wings that morphed into the stereotyped image of an angel. However, cherubim are named as such in the Bible and the image is anything but traditionally angelic. 

They seemed however to have shape-shifted from their Assyrian image just a bit and taken on a different persona in the Bible, especially prominent in the Old Testament.

The definitive book in the Bible on cherubim is the Book of Ezekiel, mainly the first and tenth chapter. The prophet Ezekiel describes cherubim as a tetrad of living creatures, each having four faces: of a man, a lion, an ox, and an eagle. They are said to have the stature and hands of a man, feet of a calf, and four wings each. Two of the wings extended upward, while the other two stretched downward and covered the creatures themselves. In the Christian New Testament similar beings are mentioned in the fourth chapter of the Book of Revelation. Just to further distance cherubim from traditional angels, the cherubim’s wings are multi-eyed – no doubt that’s all the better to see you with I guess.

If you check out Chapter Six of 1 Kings (King James Version), you’ll find that cherubs have a wingspan of 10 cubits, and a height of 10 cubits, at least I gather that must be their real life size since Solomon manufactured two of them, I assume on a one-to-one scale. The whole story is repeated in the third chapter of 2 Chronicles by the way. Now a cubit is roughly 18 to 22 inches; say 20 inches on average. So our model cherub is 200 inches tall; ditto the wingspan. That’s a tad over 16 ½ feet! Well, the Assyrians did say their versions were enormous!

You’ll also find several references to someone hitching a ride on a flying cherub (2 Samuel 22:11 and Psalm 18:10). At over 16 feet, well that sounds plausible.

Somewhat related are the Seraphim, but instead of four wings they have six wings (Isaiah 6:2). That’s again rather un-angelic appearing. I’ve mentioned one already, Metatron; the other suspect is called Seraphiel, who apparently had the head of an eagle (akin perhaps to the Egyptian god Horus who had a falcon head placed on a human body or Seker with a hawk’s head or Thoth who had the head of an ibis). Apparently there are two more Seraphim as well, and all four keep God in good company 24/7. Nice work if you can get it!

I think we can agree that there is no similarity between your ingrained image of a Biblical angel (with or without wings) and the cherubim.

Relation between fairies and cherubim:  In modern English the word cherub is sometimes used for what are strictly putti, baby or toddler angels, or winged children in fact, mainly shown in works of art. Sort of like our current images of Eros or Cupid but without the bow and arrows! So we have another shape-shift and another quite different persona from that in the Bible or Assyria. In this case the cherubs appear to have some sort of kinship with the fairy-folk. Check out images of fairies and they are, though not childlike, tend to be small and winged.

Then there are ‘guardian angels’. However, IMHO, the concept of a ‘guardian angel’ is seriously flawed. First off, if we each have a ‘guarding angel’ looking over us, and as the human population keeps doing it’s “be fruitful and multiply” bit, where do all the ever required additional ‘guardian angels’ come from? Do they just materialise out of thin air? And secondly, if they exist, then they are doing a lousy piss-weak job of being a true guardian. I mean you still have bad luck, misfortunes, failures, accidents, illnesses and you still ultimately end up kicking-the-bucket. If a child of two say dies of cancer (or for any other reason), do the parents really believe there was a so-called ‘guardian angel’ looking after their kid? Do you believe it?  

Conclusions: The traditional images of your typical run-of-the-mill angel are as phoney as a three-dollar bill. That’s because despite the multi-thousands of depictions available on the market that you can consult, they do not agree with what should be the ultimate image source – the Bible. So, though the Bible is a mythological mountain, there’s still that damn really real molehill to be accounted for. So, we have wingless angels. If you don’t care for that molehill (and probably extraterrestrial) accounting, then be prepared to explain how angels can go up-the-down-staircase (and vice versa) without wings – well maybe they hitched rides on the cherubim! Then again, maybe not as that’s just too Monty Python for comfort. Aerial vehicles in a time when there aren’t (or shouldn’t be) aerial vehicles are a plausible (extraterrestrial) alternative.   

Anything humanoid with wings (cherubim or fairies or related) is clearly a mythological mountain with more likely as not an extraterrestrial molehill hiding behind that mythological mountain. Supernatural just doesn’t cut the mustard.

And so-called ‘guardian angels’ are just wishful thinking. There’s no reference to them at all in the King James Version of the Bible. In fact, the word “guardian” doesn’t rate a mention. While some angels as depicted in the Bible allegedly look after selected individuals at selected times at the behest of God, that’s a far cry from the belief that God sends an angelic spirit to watch over every individual 24/7. In fact the concept of guardian angels isn’t consistently believed or upheld in Christian thought as an article of any sort of faith.

Finally we see some commonalities between the polytheistic religions of ancient Egypt (bird-headed humanoids), ancient Greece and Rome (cherubs like Cupid/Eros), the ancient Assyrians (cherubim) and the wee-folk (fairies) of the pagan Celtic religions, all with the monotheistic Bible. People who put their religious money on monotheism, based on say the Bible, obviously also believe that polytheism is pure mythology. Monotheism is factual reality; polytheism is pure fiction. Yet, those who profess the reality of monotheism based on the Bible, had better think twice about polytheism, as that very book confirms the factual reality of polytheism as well. As demonstrated here, if you believe one you have to accept the other. Of course all this monotheistic versus polytheistic bullshit can be unified by resorting to a terrestrial presence of a multiracial or more likely as not multi-species of extraterrestrials.  

Extraterrestrial Angels: Part One

My philosophy tends to be that behind every mountain of mythology lies a molehill of reality. It’s just a matter of trying to figure out what that hidden needle-in-a-haystack reality might be without access to the actual needle. Take the case of angels. I think a better reality would have them as angelic extraterrestrials relative to the mythological ‘winged’ entities that really aren’t represented as such (winged, that is) in the Bible and similar texts.

It’s been recently reported in, the “Huffington Post” on the 23rd of December 2011, for example, that nearly eight out of ten Americans believe in the reality of, the actual physical 3-D existence of Biblical angels (no doubt winged and all – the traditional image). Presumably that polling result would also apply to similar monotheistic countries like those in the United Kingdom, New Zealand, Australia, Canada and much of Europe (as well as other locations).

To be perfectly honest, in the here and now, there’s equal rational, based on images, texts and traditions, to believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and even “The (Curse of the) Mummy”. But I digress, so anyway, back to belief in angels.

Now belief doesn’t of necessity make it so, but it does require some logical explanation(s).

Well, the obvious visibility of angelic beings isn’t one of those logical explanations. They might exist in the here and now, but reported sightings recorded in the press or in police records, photographs and films, interviews with them on chat shows, add up to one big bugger all zilch.

You’d think that maybe the religious higher ups, those with real influence with the Big Man upstairs, could arrange for an actual angel to give a sermon or a guest lecture at a theological course. Well, maybe angels are just really shy.

A more likely explanation is their presumed reality; images of what was but no longer is, has been passed down from generation to generation, orally and in texts, from parents to children, lecturers to students, religious officials to their sheep, oops, sorry, their flocks or congregations

After a hundred generations of this angel reality regurgitation, everything is in a right royal muddle, but you believe because you put your trust in high authority who believes, just as those higher authorities who you trust, in turn trusted in the beliefs of the generation of high authority figures before them.

Maybe the traditional image of angels is wrong. Maybe they are here but it’s the image that’s all wrong and so even if you do see and maybe film one you’re none the wiser; you haven’t a clue.

 If you see angels depicted by actors in the movies or on TV shows or in staged productions, in kiddie  plays, as little girls (especially) dressing up as make-believe angels, in manger scenes, on Xmas cards, in religious artworks, images in books or on angel-themed calendars, well what do you see?

Well, angels are white – Caucasians only need apply for the part, and even though that’s not really politically correct anymore, we’ll let that observation slide. Also angels are male, though I gather they are really asexual, androgynous or transgender beings. But the really big giveaway is of course they have WINGS!

Now if someone tells you about their guardian angel that flutters over them with their large wings, you know they have been smoking (or drinking) the good stuff or adding magic mushrooms to their Irish stew, chicken pot pie, or pizza. Why? Because traditional Biblical angels do not have wings! Oops! And another one bites the dust! 

On what authority you may ask do I rely on such that I can make such a blasphemous statement. Well, I cannot find any association between angels and wings in the Bible, at least the King James Version, presumably the authority on the matter of what traditional angels look like.

You have in the Bible flying (winged) serpents and flying eagles and flying creeping things and flying birds and flying fowl but no flying angels. That’s despite the thousands, indeed tens of thousands of images in Biblical illustrations, paintings, stained glass windows, Xmas cards, films – you name the visual; the angels will more than likely as not have wings. Wrong!

In the Bible we have angels ascending and descending; they come and they go; they carry things. But we do not have Biblical angels described with wings. My online search brought up 70 references to variations on the word “wing#” in the King James Version of the Bible. There were 283 hits on variations to “angel#”. There were zero, zip, zilch matches for angel# AND wing#. The holy angels in the Bible, where they appear, are always described as men (or transgender beings) without wings. Only cherubim have wings in the Bible, but cherubim are not called angels in the Bible. I’ll have more to say about cherubim later on.

So angels with wings are a human invention, which might have been a logical assumption 2000 years ago. Why? Because angels were messengers – postmen – between the Big Boss upstairs and the common folk downstairs – we humans that is. Angels are forever ascending and descending. How else do you go from upstairs to downstairs and upstairs again without a staircase or ladder? You have to fly of course and for that you must have wings, sort of like that father and son duo from Greek mythology, Daedalus and Icarus (the concept of Superman not being yet in vogue). It’s obvious since there is no ladder, no going up the down staircase or down the up staircase or even using that imaginary escalator to the sky (another concept unknown back then).

So how do angels get to and from Heaven, ascending, descending, through the atmosphere, often carrying things as well as messages, if not by flapping wings, an obvious logical assumption made by the ancients but totally unsupported or disproved by reading the texts of the Bible? 

Okay, how would angels without wings go from upstairs to downstairs and back again today. Well, there’s always the “Beam me down, Scotty” approach – then again, perhaps not. The physics required by the standard Star Trek shortcut of getting from Point A to Point B in quick-smart fashion are a bit on the highly improbable side for all sorts of technical reasons not required viewing in this context. What about a vehicle; say a hotrod custom-made no expense spared version of the Space Shuttle or Star Trek shuttlecraft? That would work!

And so what if angels are really real, reaffirming the nearly eight out of ten of the public’s belief in that regard, but extraterrestrial? That too would work and no need of wings. Of course that would mean the Big Boss upstairs is also an ET, but then a flesh-and-blood ET is far more plausible to the more rational of the faithful than a supernatural deity. There’s no first principle extrapolation or chain of logic that generates supernatural transcending-the-physical-law deities, but not so when it comes to ET, who can’t transcend the laws, principles and relationships of universal cosmic physics. And by the way, as far as ET is concerned, if you stop to think about it, we, the common folk, human beings, are an ET to them. If that possibility does or just doesn’t sit well, well any similarity between what you might want to believe and what actually is might all be purely a matter of coincidence.

So if angels are ET that explains why they don’t mirror our racial diversity and why they appear as transvestite weirdoes, because from our point of view they are androgynous or asexual. That might ring a responsive chord – the modern day UFO ‘Grays’ also appear to be asexual in appearance.

Now we have to admit that angels are ‘sky beings’. They are associated with ‘up there’ somewhere or ‘out there’ somewhere. That’s where they live, work and presumably play and relax and maybe watch some terrestrial television. They probably love the antics and plot developments in the TV show “Supernatural” starting with Season Four onwards featuring one of their own, the fictional character, Angel Castiel. 

To be continued…

Exit Stage Left, the Exodus: Part Two

Once upon a time various authors compiled a volume of pseudo historical fairy tales (minus the fairies), some chapters more pseudo than others. We call that volume of tales today The Bible. One of the most pseudo chapters IMHO is the tale told in the Biblical Book of Exodus – an interesting work of fiction, but hardly history.

Continued from yesterday’s post…

TEN COMMANDMENTS – ROUND ONE

On the road between Egypt and the Promised Land, following the parting of the waters, Moses made that requested stopover back at Mount Sinai to pick up God’s offering. As a reward for his return patronage to this mountain resort he’s given some rather heavy stone tablets – the Ten Commandments. For some reason this took forty days and nights (perhaps some confusion here with Noah?).

Now some questions arise here. How come it takes nearly six weeks to write down the Ten Commandments? God should have had the tablets already made up and ready to hand to our 80 years old pensioner. If not that, it should have been no great trouble to create them in six minutes, being an Almighty and all that. It wouldn’t have taken Superman even that long – more like six seconds for the man in the cape who wears his underwear on the outside.

In any event, if God had gotten a move on and if Moses had of hurried back down the mountain tablets in hand it would have been a good thing and saved a lot of strife because in his lengthy six week absence, his followers, the great Israelite unwashed and Hebrew rabble, got up to a lot of mischief, ultimately pissing off God and Moses too.

Apparently to wile away their ‘idle’ time, brother Aaron, watching over the flock, passed around the collection plate and gathered up all of the metals in their possession and using same, created themselves a real idol – a golden calf apparently. Now how on earth this motley crowd could do advanced metallurgy (melting and casting) in the wilderness is beyond me. Anyway, idols are a big no-no in God’s eye so that bit of mischief was a really bad move.

But let’s return for a moment back up the mountain and to those six weeks. Apparently while waiting, Moses took the opportunity to go on a diet and didn’t eat or drink for the duration. Or maybe God was a bad host. You’d of thought God might have some manna to spare or some loaves and fishes to share with Moses. God indeed is a rather poor host. Just because God doesn’t need to eat or drink – a major blunder IMHO.

Verdict: Well, let’s face the logic. The logic is that this entire scenario is 100% illogical. It just never happened. 

TEN COMMANDMENTS – ROUND TWO

Alas, in a fit of temper, Moses, upon returning to ground level and those former Israelite slaves, spotted the golden calf, that no-no idol, threw a tantrum and unfortunately broke those original rather heavy stone tables - Que instant reply here. Yes, our old aged pensioner now returns to the site on Mount Sinai, but this time having to lug up the mountain some fresh stone tablets for God’s finger to write upon. Anyway he gets a carbon copy (or photocopy) of those heavy stone tablets. This time, upon his return from the mountain top, carrying those heavy stones, he didn’t do a butterfingers and drop the dishes and so the Ten Commandments finally made its rightful way to those in need of such instructions, those Israelites, obviously a rather amoral lot since they create idols and such. Why these great amoral unwashed should be God’s chosen people is beyond me, but hey, we all love to cheer on the underdog. And slaves freed from bondage, then being chased by the Egyptian army, enduring hardships in the wilderness, are a classic case of the underdog striving to and coming out on top - at least for a little while. But the hardships weren’t over with yet, not by a long shot. Freedom was still another forty years away.   

Verdict: If the scenario surrounding the Ten Commandments, Round One has no basis in historical fact, then the sequel is a case of déjà vu all over again. No one disputes that there are Ten Commandments in the Bible, plus a whole lot of additional “thou shall” and “thou shall nots” as well. Whether or not they came from a deity or not is neither here nor there, but a good case can be made for the dos and don’ts having a less than supernatural origin. The issue here is the method of delivery.

THE BIBLICAL MOUNT SINAI

I gather we leave Mount Sinai of the Exodus behind at this point. It’s too bad some of the chosen people didn’t choose to mark the location on a map. To add insult to injury, not only are Moses and the story to date iffy, so is the location of the Mount Sinai of the Bible itself. The Biblical Mount Sinai should not to be confused with an actual Mount Sinai near Saint Catherine and Mount St. Catherine way, way to the south of the Sinai Peninsula and thus far off the beaten path leading to the Promised Land. Surely God would have positioned himself somewhere along the most direct, most logical, route between lower Egypt (northern Egypt) and the Land of Canaan (well to the northeast) and not require his chosen people to go southeast to the real Mount Sinai then backtrack northeast – that’s hundreds of miles out of their way. It would be like travelling from Chicago to Seattle via the Grand Canyon!

Modern scholars differ as to the exact geographical position of the Biblical Mount Sinai which has ranged from the Sinai Peninsula to the Negev to Saudi Arabia to Petra and beyond. A lot of the debate centers on whether or not you identify the Biblical Mount Sinai with a volcano, in that the Biblical (Exodus) version of Mount Sinai is associated with lots of smoke, fire and brimstone. In any event, no one can really identify it for certain with any specific geographical location of an elevated nature (so we can’t go and have a look-see for ourselves at that non-combustible yet ever burning bush or see where the rock was quarried by God for those original, now busted, stone tablets). So there! Tough luck! Hard cheddar! Sorry ‘bout that!

Verdict: Something is screwy somewhere!

FORTY YEARS IN THE WILDERNESS: WTF?

God’s still pretty cheesed off at his chosen people and so in yet another fit of temper (God’s constant temper tantrums really get boring after awhile) God condemns those ex-slaves to wander around the wilderness, ever to be denied the Promised Land, saving that for their kiddies (actual or eventual) instead.  If God ordered you to spend forty years wandering about aimlessly in the desert wilderness would you say “Yes, Master – whatever you command Master” or something a tad more unprintable like “#@&*#%” along with a certain jester involving the middle digit of the hand? Assuming those involved weren’t physically restrained, it hardly takes forty years to get from Egypt to the Promised Land. There seems absolutely no point to God’s instruction. He wanted his people to get to the Land of Canaan so why delay things with this punishment. God of the double standard is also God with rocks between his ears. In any event, you’d get rather sick and tired of a manna diet after forty days, far less forty years worth! I mean it’s just bread, even if honey-sweet. I’m sure any modern day nutritionist would frown on anyone undertaking a manna-only diet for forty years! Even airline food would be a massive improvement, had they had airline fare back in those days.

Verdict: forty years in the wilderness is fiction, pure fiction, without any archaeological evidence to back up anything to the contrary. Even if you only made one mile a day and headed in just one direction, say the direction of the rising Sun, you’d be out of any desert wilderness way, way, way before forty years came and went.

And by-the-by, what’s with this Biblical obsession with the number forty? Quite apart from Noah, and the examples cited above, we have our central character, Moses, who was twice forty when called upon by God to come out of retirement and thrice forty when Moses kicked the bucket.

MOSES, PART TWO

First off, there is no evidence whatever for the existence of Moses. Moses, as well as the veracity of the Exodus story in which he prominently features is disputed amongst archaeologists and those well versed with the history of ancient Egypt. You won’t find so much as one hieroglyph with his name attached. Now that’s a tad surprising. Even if Moses isn’t Egyptian public enemy number one, he’s still was on their ten most wanted list.

Now we come to the birth and discovery of baby Moses. You know the story of the floating basket and related, but it’s pure plagiarism at worst, reinventing the wheel at best. There’s nothing even remotely original about it. The original first generation tale is attributed to what happened to baby [future King] Sargon (a really real historical figure without any question), the first empire builder in the Mesopotamian region. King Sargon or Sargon the Great (2330 – 2280 BCE though the exact dates vary slightly depending on source) forged the Akkadian Empire, establishing the capital of Agade in Akkad – look it up and check it out. That King Sargon (of Akkad)  is not to be confused however with another King Sargon of a much later era who rates a mention in the Bible by the way as a king of Assyria.

That aside, Moses was already ten years past his normally allotted lifespan when God gave him his commission and marching orders to free those apparent, but unverified, Hebrew slaves. If the standard lifespan allotment is ‘three score and ten’, why pick on an old age pensioner of four score years? Maybe diplomatic talent and those able to perform parlour tricks was just a bit thin on the ground. But really, in an era without air travel or air conditioned road transport, would you pick on an 80 year old to undertake not only the initial diplomatic task but endure all that followed? Recall, with respect to the Ten Commandments, this is an 80 year old pensioner who after forty days and nights on a starvation diet, dying of thirst, is asked to carry down off a mountain two large stone tablets, something even a fighting fit 30 year old (even without the diet) would be huffing-and-puffing over.

Finally, in an ending worthy of the greatest tear-jerking Hollywood final, Moses snuffs it, kicks the bucket, at an age of six score years (120) just in sight of his goal – the Promised Land. Okay, hankies back in pocket! As I said in the beginning, they don’t write them like that anymore!

Verdict: I think Moses is a figment of Biblical imagination, a useful fictional character to fulfil the various plot scenarios the unknown author intended, much like George Orwell manufactured Winston Smith as a required central character in his novel “1984”, and Arthur Conan Doyle created Dr. Watson to help flesh out the Sherlock Holmes tales. 

CONCLUSION

The Biblical Book of Exodus is worthy of a sci-fi Hugo Award. However, as really real history, it’s not credible – in fact it’s pure bovine fertilizer. There was no ten plagues; no Moses, no Hebrew slaves, no burning bush, no old age pensioner struggling to carry down (and later up) the mountain stone tablets, no wilderness exile, in fact no Exodus – exit stage left, the Exodus.

NOW FOR SOMETHING ELSE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

Somewhat out of context here, but what I find puzzling is how a relatively minor deity, who let’s face it was a worse tyrant or despot than Attila-the-Hun, with a relatively small constituency and control or jurisdiction over a relatively small geographical area could take over many of the hearts and minds of peoples from all over the globe. From God of Israel to God of Life, the Universe and Everything is a pretty neat trick.

I think the answer, the appeal, is that previously nearly all cultures had literally thousands of deities in charge of life, the universe and everything. It’s far easier to adopt, remember the name, rituals and codes of one deity than those multi-thousands most other cultures had. Put it this way, your choice – memorise just 1 x 1, or else memorise the entire multiplication table through to say 25 x 25. It’s your choice.  

*To engage in a conversation with God via a burning bush intermediary must be one of the more inventive of the Almighty’s scenarios. Perhaps this must be some ancient variation on people who talk to their pot plants – Prince Charles is in good company.

Exit Stage Left, the Exodus: Part One

Once upon a time various authors compiled a volume of pseudo historical fairy tales (minus the fairies), some chapters more pseudo than others. We call that volume of tales today The Bible. One of the most pseudo chapters IMHO is the tale told in the Biblical Book of Exodus – an interesting work of fiction, but hardly history.

Relatively few people wouldn’t find the story relayed in the Biblical Book of the Exodus other than riveting – they don’t write stories like that anymore. Alas, anyone can put words down on paper, that doesn’t of necessity make those words true. And while our libraries and bookstores are full of books clearly identified as fiction, I’m sure none of you would believe for a minute that all of the books in the non-fiction sections contain only the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The question arises, is the Bible in general, and for the purposes of this essay the section called Exodus, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, or perhaps something less, even a lot less, that that? 

THE MAIN CHARACTERS IN EXODUS

Moses, Part One: Moses is an old age pensioner to the tune of four score years. He’s commanded by God to undertake various tasks. I’ll have more to say about his bona-fides later on, but for now I’ll just note that Moses was most certainly not the author of “Exodus” since that text was not committed to ‘paper’ until many centuries after-the-‘fact’. And there’s little doubt that the version that we know today is a copy of a copy of a copy and a translation of a translation of a translation. 

Pharaoh X: The “X”, as always stands for “unknown” because nobody has a clue exactly which Pharaoh was the Pharaoh of the Exodus. For some absolutely inexcusable reason, assuming of course we’re dealing with history and not fairy tales, the Egyptian Pharaoh part and parcel of all of this ‘history’ – Hebrew or Israelite slaves, diplomatic negations with Moses, plagues, etc. – is totally unnamed! That’s like historical texts saying some American President X committed NASA to land a man on the on the Moon and return him safely to Earth before 1970 but those historical records forget which President. The Pharaoh in question might have been Ramesses II (otherwise known as Ramesses the Great). He is considered to be by punters the odds-on favourite, but there is no documentary or archaeological evidence that Ramesses II had any involvement with any of these happenings. Besides, Ramesses II being of sound mind and ego left all sorts of historical records about him for archaeologists thousands of years later to record. Sorry, no Israelites, slaves or otherwise. Anyway, Ramesses II has five other Pharaohs in competition for the ‘honor’ of being the Pharaoh of the Exodus. Pick a card; any card.

God: The Almighty deity who works in mysterious, contradictory, illogical and unethical ways. This God is a god of Israel and the Israelites and only of Israel and her citizens.

THE MISSION GOD GIVES MOSES

God, who on a tape recorded message that was hidden behind a burning bush* up on the Mount Sinai of the Bible (God’s never actually seen) addresses Moses: “Good morning, Moses. Your mission if you choose to accept [and by God you’d better, or else] is to journey to Egypt and negotiate with Pharaoh X the release of some Hebrew slaves (the Israelites – my chosen people) and escort them to the Land of Canaan (the Promised Land). I’m sending your brother Aaron to assist you. Feel free to impress Pharaoh X with some impressive parlour tricks so he’ll know how powerful you are. Oh, by the way, on the way back stop off here again at my Mount Sinai. I have something for you. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck Moses.”

Good luck indeed for our all-knowing God knows full well Moses will get Pharaoh X’s middle finger. God knew he’d have to resort to some good old fashion smiting in order to make Pharaoh X see the error of his ways, and no doubt God relished the opportunity to keep in practice with his smiting techniques.

And so it came to pass that Pharaoh X indeed told Moses where to go and what to do to himself when he got there! So much for Plan A’s minor ‘snake and staff’ parlour tricks approach – on to Plan B and time to get serious with some really real impressive parlour tricks (with more than a little bit of help from the Almighty) – the ten plagues.

THE TEN PLAGUES

We’ve all learned about the ten plagues inflicted on Egypt and her citizens. Alas, and surprisingly, the ten plagues aren’t recorded in ancient Egyptian historical texts. Sure, ancient Egypt suffered several natural disasters, the Nile over-flooding or not flooding enough; droughts and famines, but hardly anything akin to the rapid succession of all manner of other calamities the Bible relates – blood, frogs, lice, flies, pestilence, boils, hail, locusts, darkness and death to the firstborn. Historians don’t have a bar of these plague tales since there’s not the remotest shred of hardcore evidence for them. Natural explanations can easily account for these as happening over the very long term as disassociated events – I mean there’s nothing supernatural about hail, frogs, lice, flies, pestilence, locusts or alga blooms (blood). Darkness can result from solar eclipses to ash clouds from volcanic eruptions to usually overcast conditions.

As for the last plague, God directly smites the firstborn (including the firstborn of livestock for some absolutely unfathomable reason humane societies need to comment on), of all and sundry Egyptians (sparing of course the Israelites), in direct violation of his commandment “Thou shall not kill”. Wow, God of the double standard is an absolute understatement in this context.  

You’d think that if a foreign deity (to the Egyptians) had smite the Egyptians with those ten plagues (or even just the final one – the straw that broke Pharaoh X’s back) that there would have, again, been some record of it in ancient Egyptian inscriptions. No! You’d think God would have been the subject of some of those famous Egyptian revenge spells and curses, for after all they only affected the Egyptians, not the Israelites. Apparently that’s not the case.

Verdict: The ten plagues are either un-associated events widely separated in time or pure fiction. I’d opt for pure fiction due to a lack of documentation in Egypt’s historical records.

THOSE ISRAELITE OR HEBREW SLAVES

What Israelite Slaves? No such population has been recorded in Egyptian history and the ancient Egyptians kept careful records as only obsessed accountants can. However, we’ll go with the Exodus flow and note that the ten plagues finally convinced Pharaoh X to let God’s chosen people go. Well, sort of. One obvious question arises however. Since Pharaoh X was the lone obstacle, why was it necessary to take out atrocities on the ordinary Egyptian citizen totally ignorant of what was going on and why – ditto those livestock? I mean subjecting Pharaoh X to several hours of heavy metal or rap music (God would have foreseen those ‘musical’ styles coming to pass) should have done the torture trick without undue ethical consequences. Regardless, and after-the-fact, Pharaoh X changed his mind and sent out his army and army’s chariots to bring ‘em back dead or alive – well probably alive since a dead slave isn’t of any use, even to a Pharaoh. High Noon was at the Red Sea, or was that the Sea of Reeds?

Verdict: Ancient Egypt did not; repeat did not, put to work any Israelii slaves.

IS IT THE RED SEA OR THE REED SEA?

Assuming the accuracy of Exodus up to this point (which I don’t), there’s dispute about the crossing of THAT body of water by the escaping Israelites and the drowning of Pharaoh X’s pursuing army. The KJV of the Bible does indeed say “Red sea”. However scholars suggest that it was, if there has to be a ‘was’, the Reed Sea or Sea of Reeds, that marshy area part and parcel of the northeast Delta region of Egypt. 

Why the confusion for such an important, unique, even historical event? - If it happened of course. And how could it happen?

Verdict: it didn’t happen. If the ancient Egyptians had had that many of their army wiped out, there would be a bona-fide historical record of it inscribed somewhere in some manner in ancient Egyptian writings or inscriptions. And claims that the remains of Egyptian chariots have been found on the Red Sea seabed have proven to be total nonsense and pseudo-archaeology. Any bona-fide archaeologist would sell their soul to the devil for such a discovery – an army’s worth of Egyptian war chariots from that era at the bottom of the Red Sea. They’d become as famous as Howard Carter of King Tut fame or Heinrich Schliemann who found and uncovered Troy. To confirm the Exodus via physical archaeological evidence would be worthy of a Nobel Prize – if they gave one for archaeology or history of course.  

THE PARTING OF THE WATERS

But assuming this unique geographical parting of the waters event happened, perhaps a massively strong wind or an earthquake might have accomplished the task naturally, but the texts (Exodus and other Biblical references) don’t relate any such natural forces at work at the time. If there was a wind strong enough to ‘part the waters’, then it would have been strong enough to blow both the Israelites and the Egyptians to the Promised Land in one puff! Apparently Moses waved his arms about and did the hokey-pokey and the rest as they say is history. Of course mortal men cannot part the waters, so again either we have an uncited natural event; or a real God behind the scenes, waiting in the wings offstage pulling the actual strings; or yet again, an episode of pure fiction.

Verdict: pure fiction.

To be continued…

Biblical Foreign Policy: Make War, Not Love: Part Two

When we think of religious fanatics, we think of those long ago times like the Crusades and the Inquisition and those who imposed the doctrines of Christianity by force on non-Christian societies like those in Africa and the Americas. Or, perhaps we think of some modern countries today that have one form or another of religious fundamentalism at the core of their domestic and foreign policies. But surely nations like the United States have not had, and do not have, any such associations, at least at leadership levels. Well, as the 2012 Presidential election campaign rolls on, one has to wonder if that could change.

When it comes to Biblical (God’s) foreign policy things aren’t personal issues anymore but national issues. And those national issues have implications above and beyond national borders. Those national issues do indeed have implications for life, the universe and everything. So, pray tell, what’s foreign policy when it comes to Biblical texts – those words of God – or God’s directives when it comes to foreign affairs? In short, it’s ‘shoot first and don’t bother asking questions later’. Here are further examples.

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

If all that’s not enough to convince you, there’s always Ezekiel. I mean another instrument of foreign policy are threats – maybe blockades, maybe trade or other economic sanctions, or withdrawing diplomatic recognition. But in Biblical times, something usually stronger was implied, as the following ‘I will’ or ‘I shall’ threats (or promises) make abundantly clear.

*Ezekiel 12:20: And the cities that are inhabited shall be laid waste, and the land shall be desolate; and ye shall know that I am the LORD.

*Ezekiel 25:17: And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

*Ezekiel 28:23: For I will send into her pestilence, and blood into her streets; and the wounded shall be judged in the midst of her by the sword upon her on every side; and they shall know that I am the LORD.

*Ezekiel 30:26: And I will scatter the Egyptians among the nations, and disperse them among the countries; and they shall know that I am the LORD.

*Ezekiel 32:15: When I shall make the land of Egypt desolate, and the country shall be destitute of that whereof it was full, when I shall smite all them that dwell therein, then shall they know that I am the LORD.

*Ezekiel 33:29: Then shall they know that I am the LORD, when I have laid the land most desolate because of all their abominations which they have committed.

*Ezekiel 35:4: I will lay thy cities waste, and thou shalt be desolate, and thou shalt know that I am the LORD.

*Ezekiel 35:9: I will make thee perpetual desolations, and thy cities shall not return: and ye shall know that I am the LORD.

We note the everlasting phrase “I am the LORD”. Just to make sure you don’t forget it, that phrase is repeated 162 times in the Bible (King James Version). I personally think that’s a bit on the side of overkill. Can you imagine an American president again and again reminding Americans by bellowing out repeatedly “I am the PRESIDENT”! Such constant reminders might be suggestive that the utterances come from one who is really a tad insecure in the position. 

Just to wrap up this little illustration on how God treats His subjects, foreign and domestic, consider these.

*Joshua 24:19: And Joshua said unto the people, Ye cannot serve the LORD: for he is an holy God; he is a jealous God; he will not forgive your transgressions nor your sins.

*Nahum 1:2: God is jealous, and the LORD revengeth; the LORD revengeth, and is furious; the LORD will take vengeance on his adversaries, and he reserveth wrath for his enemies.

This doesn’t relate much to the warm and fuzzy idea of a compassionate; merciful; love your enemies; forgiving God, does it?

Now let us fast forward to modern times.

By Biblical rationality and policy, the United States of America should probably smite both Canada and Mexico – the former for giving safe harbour to all those anti Vietnam War draft dodgers, not to mention Canadians having the audacity to believe that ice hockey is a better sport than baseball – blasphemy, heathens all; and the latter for all those illegal alien migrants who can’t even speak English, not to mention being a major drug supplier to the Land of the Free. And as for Cuba, they at least deserve the Sodom and Gomorrah treatment!

And if that Vietnamese War had happened in Old Testament times, North Vietnam really would have been bombed back to the Stone Age as several hawk generals advised at the time; and the Korean War would have ended in 1952 instead of the never-ending stalemate that drags on, and on and on. There just wouldn’t be a North Korea in existence today. The Cold War would have been at least a Warm War if not a Hot-As-Hell-War. If God had been president, Saddam Hussein and sons would have been toast at the end of the first Gulf War. 

Half a world away, Australia should kick Indonesia’s ass not only for the Bali massacre and allowing all those boat people access to their territory to they can row, row, row their boats into Australian territorial waters, but for the explicit torture of Australian livestock that’s exported live to that rather barbaric nation. To Australian Christian values, Indonesia’s non-Christian infidels should be struck down in good old fashion Old Testament style and the sooner the better. But then again that inspired 2004 Asian tsunami, an act of God and therefore God’s wrath, did deal death out to a few of those Indonesian bastards (still, a few is better than none). This was God’s will, obviously, and it hinted at what Australian foreign policy should be – the only good Indonesian is a dead Indonesian!  

While I’m sure every country and every county’s leader(s) have some rational to want to be able to act like God and smite enemies left, right and centre, fortunately most can’t. However, the USA can and that means their leader, the US president of the day can take on the role of God. The question is, do you want any American president to really act like God acts?

Of course God isn’t just reactive; He is also proactive, so I can imagine that if God had been sitting in the Oval Office all these years, not only would the Stars and Stripes (or some Biblical version of the American flag) be flying all over the world, but domestic Biblical policy, God’s policy, would be equally universal. No women’s rights, especially regarding reproductive rights; the death penalty would be standard and include a lot of transgressions not currently included – and no private lethal injections, rather public stoning or burning at the stake would be the norm. Of course slavery would be rife, and there would be no such thing as privacy behind closed doors for consenting adults. Animal sacrifices would be standard and animal welfare organisations would be banned.

If God were in the White House you’d be living not under the American Constitution and Bill of Rights but under the yoke of those hundreds of do’s and don’ts that make up God’s personal constitution. There would be no democracy, no Bill of Rights, no need or even right to vote. It would be an Orwellian society but instead of “Big Bother is watching you” it’s an all knowing “God is watching you” 24/7/52.

The modern relevance of this little exercise is that, in modern America, the 21^st Century, you have presidential candidates (unnamed, but you know who they are), who would be happy to end the separation of church and state and who would govern from the White House according to the texts of the Bible – God’s holy words. Governing according to the Bible would mean carrying out God’s version of not only domestic policy but foreign policy, which is, according to the Bible, something akin to a policy that tends to be shoot first, shoot often, shoot to kill and don’t worry about asking all those later questions as dead men tell no tales; the hell with all those later questions, full stop. The President and Commander-in-Chief would be playing the role of God and that would have to include being willing to carry out all God’s policies and the entire sort of God-performed and God-endorsed atrocities of the Old Testament. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. In fact I’m seeing increasing references to the Grand Old Party, the GOP, the American Republican Party, as “God’s Own Party”. My reading of this is America, be afraid, be very afraid.

P.S. The closest America came to having ‘God’ in the White House was Christian fundamentalist and thrice Presidential candidate (and triple loser) William Jennings Bryan. Bryan has totally against the theory of evolution and the teaching of that theory in American schools and universities. His main claim to fame is that he was the guest prosecutor in the 1925 Scopes Trial, or the so-called Monkey Trial”. Teacher John T. Scopes was accused of teaching Darwinian evolution to his students in violation of Tennessean state law.  When Bryan himself was placed on the stand by the defence attorney, the famed Clarence Darrow, as an expert in all things Biblical, well the verdict was that Darrow made a ‘monkey’ out of Bryan. Bryan died just five days after the trial ended. Though Scopes was found guilty, the verdict was later overturned on a technicality.

Biblical Foreign Policy: Make War, Not Love: Part One

When we think of religious fanatics, we think of those long ago times like the Crusades and the Inquisition and those who imposed the doctrines of Christianity by force on non-Christian societies like those in Africa and the Americas. Or, perhaps we think of some modern countries today that have one form or another of religious fundamentalism at the core of their domestic and foreign policies. But surely nations like the United States have not had, and do not have, any such associations, at least at leadership levels. Well, as the 2012 Presidential election campaign rolls on, one has to wonder if that could change.

When it comes to Biblical (God’s) domestic policy, well we all know the basics – the Ten Commandments and all the hundreds of lesser commandments that tell us that ‘thou shall’ or ‘thou shall not’ do this, that and the next thing. Things like what foods to eat and when; the banning of homosexuality; contraception; abortion; and all sorts of other rituals that should be observed like how many ‘Hail Mary’s’ to utter or when to bow and scrape and how low. But unless there literally is a “Big Brother is watching you” scenario, what you do, and with whom, behind closed doors, are of no concern when it comes to the fate of life, the universe and everything.

When it comes to Biblical (God’s) foreign policy, well one now crosses over into the red danger zone. Things aren’t personal issues anymore but national issues. And those national issues have implications above and beyond national borders. Those national issues do indeed have implications for life, the universe and everything. So, pray tell, what’s foreign policy when it comes to Biblical texts – those words of God – or God’s directives when it comes to foreign affairs? In short, it’s ‘shoot first and don’t bother asking questions later’.

Matthew 10:34 (King James Version) “Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.”

Do you realise the word diplomacy or diplomatic or negotiation or treaty or compromise does NOT appear anywhere in the King James Version of the Bible? But you do get conflict (twice), warfare (5 times), war (220 times in fact), battle (163 times), destruction (92 times), smite (117 times), smote (220 times), wrath (197 times), destroy (243 occasions), Armageddon (once only), terror or terrors (44 times), murder and variations (37 times), just plain ‘kill’ (118 occasions) and so on. I think you get the general idea that the general theme of Biblical policy and especially foreign policy is when crunch comes to the crunch, it’s “make war, not love”. Thou shall not turn the other cheek but kick the SOB in the ass. If there really was a God, and if God were really around today, I’m sure His advice to any and all Christian leaders, would be, “when in doubt, nuke them”!

Since the start of the 20^th Century there have been many world leaders who have launched invasions of foreign lands without any real rhyme or reason other than power for its own sake, and there have been many world leaders who have initiated a policy of genocide within their own borders. But relatively few world leaders have done both. Saddam Hussein springs to mind, but he was small bickies compared to Adolph Hitler. But who out eclipses even Hitler (or anyone else you care to name over the past 2000+ years) – God, that’s who. The invasion – by His chosen people of the Land of Canaan under His guidance; genocide – well it can’t get much bigger than the flood as related in the Book of Genesis.  

What ‘person’ in authority was first to use biological warfare – germs as a weapon? Just you’re ever-loving God of the Bible, that’s who. There are some 46 references to pestilence in the Bible. Here are just two of them.

*1 Chronicles 21:14: So the LORD sent pestilence upon Israel: and there fell of Israel seventy thousand men.

*Jeremiah 21:6: And I will smite the inhabitants of this city, both man and beast: they shall die of a great pestilence.

Speaking of pestilence and by association plagues, one well-known example of God’s foreign policy was the Ten Plagues inflicted on ancient Egypt, most notably the final one, death to all the Egyptian firstborn, regardless of name, age, sex or rank. So mass murder is definitely one of God’s foreign policy instruments (and that’s God’s story and He’s sticking to it, though fortunately the ancient Egyptians don’t seem to be aware that they were culled).

Since 1945 there have been lots and lots of chin-wagging over and about ‘weapons of mass destruction’. Japan knows about them first hand; they were a major reason for the second Gulf War. But who was the first to actually make and employ weapons of mass destruction? God again, that’s who. Perhaps it will jog your memory if I mention Sodom and Gomorrah, and other nearby cities. In fact, God used a weapon of total destruction, since no trace of these settlements, have ever been found to this day. You can read all the gory details in Genesis chapters 18 & 19, but the Bible keeps on keeping on mentioning them, as if God were patting Himself on the back. Here are two examples.

*2 Peter 2:6: And turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes condemned them with an overthrow, making them an ensample unto those that after should live ungodly;

*Jude 1:7: Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

One question immediately arises, if God was so against homosexuality (‘strange flesh’), how come He didn’t smite ancient Greece, ruled by those – shock, horror – ‘other gods’? That’s strike one alone. Homosexuality was socially acceptable in ancient Greek society (strike two), not only between consulting adults but between adults and minors as well (strike three). 

Oh, by the way at least in the case of WWII Japan, the punishment probably fit the crime and ended up in the long run saving lives – that rational hardly applies to Sodom and Gomorrah.

Another household word today on the lips of the great unwashed is ‘terrorism’, least they be next to have to expect the unexpected. So imagine the terror of the great unwashed of long ago caught up unexpectedly in a long-term weather event of 960 straight hours of not just heavy, but torrential rain, and not an umbrella in sight. The great unwashed didn’t stay unwashed for long. It was sink-or-swim time, and nearly everyone sank. The terror of the Big Wet was bought to your local neighbourhood courtesy of God. If you don’t think that deluge would have been terrifying, imagine yourself slipping overboard in mid-ocean off a cruise ship. There you are floundering thousands of miles from dry land, all alone, just you (and maybe some sharks) and the waves. I’d wager you’d be as terrified as those trapped atop the World Trade Centre on 9/11.   

Then there is this little oft quoted gem.

*Matthew 5:44: But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

Love thy enemy? I don’t bloody well think so!

For a prime example that totally contradicts such nonsense, consider Deuteronomy 20:10-17.

*Deuteronomy 20:10: When thou comest nigh unto a city to fight against it, then proclaim peace unto it.

*Deuteronomy 20:11: And it shall be, if it make thee answer of peace, and open unto thee, then it shall be, that all the people that is found therein shall be tributaries unto thee, and they shall serve thee.

*Deuteronomy 20:12: And if it will make no peace with thee, but will make war against thee, then thou shalt besiege it:

*Deuteronomy 20:13: And when the LORD thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword:

*Deuteronomy 20:14: But the women, and the little ones, and the cattle, and all that is in the city, even all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto thyself; and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies, which the LORD thy God hath given thee.

*Deuteronomy 20:15: Thus shalt thou do unto all the cities which are very far off from thee, which are not of the cities of these nations.

*Deuteronomy 20:16: But of the cities of these people, which the LORD thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth:

*Deuteronomy 20:17: But thou shalt utterly destroy them; namely, the Hittites, and the Amorites, the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites; as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee:

The upshot is if your enemy doesn’t want to fight, you have a right to enslave them. If they don’t care for that option and fight, then you invade their territory, put every male to death and have your wicked way with the women and children (and then kill them) and take all else as spoils of war. With that sort of attitude, you really want God on your side! On the other hand, not even Hitler was that barbaric. Love your enemy? That’s just pure bovine fertilizer.

To be continued…