In the Beginning: The Annotated Supreme Programmer: Part One

We’re probably all familiar with the mythology of The Creation as outlined in the Book of Genesis: chapters 1 and 2.  But if you believe in a Simulated Universe relative to a Supernatural Universe, here’s an annotated variation on The Creation theme.

From the King James [Alternate Universe] Version (KJAUV)

Genesis 1

In the beginning the Supreme Programmer programmed software creating the virtual Heaven and the virtual Earth. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: but wait, there’s more to come!]

² And the virtual Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And so the creativity of the Supreme Programmer moved upon the face of the waters with big plans afoot.

³ And the Supreme Programmer programmed in light and there was light. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: I like light. Light is good. Light is, well, enlightening]

⁴ And the Supreme Programmer saw the light, that it was a good light and that there were no software glitches and then the Supreme Programmer divided the light from the darkness. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: that division was a really neat programming trick if I do say so myself.]

⁵ And the Supreme Programmer called the light day, and the darkness he called night. And the evening and the morning were the first day and the Supreme Programmer called it a night.

⁶ And the Supreme Programmer said, let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: I had a few too many martinis at this juncture and that’s why this reads as pure nonsense – sorry ‘bout that.]

⁷ And the Supreme Programmer programmed the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament and it was so and there were no software glitches. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: see my comment immediately above, but otherwise think of this as a heavenly firmament sandwich with very soggy bread.]

⁸ And the Supreme Programmer called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day and the Supreme Programmer called it a night. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: the reason for the waters above the Heavenly firmament is so that Heaven will get some April showers.]

⁹ And the Supreme Programmer programmed the waters under the heaven to be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear, and it was so and there were no software glitches.

¹⁰ And the Supreme Programmer called the dry land earth; and the gathering together of the waters the Supreme Programmer called the seas: and the Supreme Programmer saw that it was good and that there were no software glitches. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: due to an oversight on my part, I forgot to mention the third part of the trilogy, the atmosphere – oops – sort ‘bout that.]

¹¹ And the Supreme Programmer programmed the virtual Earth to bring forth virtual reality grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed was of itself, upon the earth: and it was so and there were no software glitches. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: in my infinite wisdom I invented botany, simulated, of course.]

¹² And the virtual Earth brought forth virtual reality grass and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was within itself, after his kind and the Supreme Programmer saw that it was good and that there were no software glitches. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: not only botany, but masculine botany!]

¹³ And the evening and the morning were the third day and the Supreme Programmer called it a night. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: I was pooped – wouldn’t you be?]

¹⁴ And the Supreme Programmer said, let there be lights in the firmament of the Heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: I’m just full of neat tricks!]

¹⁵ And let them be for lights in the firmament of the Heaven to give light upon the virtual Earth and it was so. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: not only “let there be light” but “let there be lights”. More is better, don’t you agree?]

¹⁶ And the Supreme Programmer made two great simulated lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: damn I’m good!]

¹⁷ And the Supreme Programmer set them in the firmament of the Heaven to give light upon the Earth.

¹⁸ And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and the Supreme Programmer saw that it was good and that there were no software glitches.

¹⁹ And the evening and the morning were the fourth day and the Supreme Programmer called it a night.

²⁰ And the Supreme Programmer said let the waters [that were previously gathered together] bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of Heaven. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: in case you though my virtual Heaven was way, way, way out there, well even the birds can routinely perch there.]

²¹ And the Supreme Programmer created great whales, and every living creature that moves, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and the Supreme Programmer saw that it was good and that there were no software glitches.

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²² And the Supreme Programmer blessed them, saying, be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: actually that should read “fowl multiply on or over the earth.]

²³ And the evening and the morning were the fifth day and the Supreme Programmer called it a night.

²⁴ And the Supreme Programmer said, let the virtual Earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping things, and beasts of the earth after his kind and it was so. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: in my infinite wisdom I also invented zoology, also simulated, of course, and masculine too – of course.]

²⁵ And the Supreme Programmer made the beast of the Earth after his kind and cattle after their kind, and every thing that crept upon the earth after his kind: and the Supreme Programmer saw that it was good and that there were no software glitches. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: I do love to endlessly repeat myself.]

²⁶ And the Supreme Programmer said; let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that crept upon the earth. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: I’ve invented masculine anthropology.]

[Supplementary Supreme Programmer’s Note: Unfortunately, in my not so infinite wisdom, I now have screwed up, Big Time.]

²⁷ So the Supreme Programmer created a virtual man in his own image, in the image of the Supreme Programmer created he him; male and female created he them, virtually. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: Another round of too many martinis in that I made a virtual man and a virtual him when I should have said I made a virtual man and woman. I also need to improve my grammar. Sorry ‘bout that.]

²⁸ And the Supreme Programmer blessed them, and the Supreme Programmer said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moved upon the earth. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: when I screw up, I really screw up! Well at least I’ll be responsible for giving birth to The Greens!]

²⁹ And the Supreme Programmer said, behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: what I really mean here is that plants are food for plant eaters which in turn are meat for meat eaters – got that?]

³⁰ And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that crept upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat and it was so. [Supreme Programmer’s Note: see immediately above.]

³¹ And the Supreme Programmer saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good and that there were no software glitches. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day and the Supreme Programmer called it a night.

To be continued…

The AFA Is As Phoney As A Seven Dollar Bill

Let’s start by noting that the name of the organisation is the “American Family Association” (AFA). So, if in all innocence you came across the name, you’d be expecting probably a lobbyist group that lobbies on behalf of health, education, welfare, etc. issues that are of concern to the average American family.  You will not note the word God, Religion, Christianity, Church or any other word normally associated with all things Biblical in the name of the organisation. That’s misleading at best; misrepresentation at worst since in fact they are a 100% Right Wing, even extremist and fundamentalist, Christian organisation.

We note that the word “families” occurs only once in their “Philosophical Statement” and not at all in their “Action Statement” or “Statement of Faith”, whereas there are numerous references to God, Bible, Jesus, etc. So, any rational person must conclude that a more accurate phrase or name for their organisation would be “American Association for God” or “American Bible Association” or “Americans for Jesus Association” or some variation thereof. 

The following trilogy of statements is extracted directly from the AFA website:

AFA PHILOSOPHICAL STATEMENT

 

The American Family Association believes that God has communicated absolute truth to mankind, and that all people are subject to the authority of God’s Word at all times. Therefore AFA believes that a culture based on biblical truth best serves the well-being of our nation and our families, in accordance with the vision of our founding documents; and that personal transformation through the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the greatest agent of biblical change in any culture.

AFA ACTION STATEMENT

The American Family Association acts to:

(1) restrain evil by exposing the works of darkness;
(2) promote virtue by upholding in culture that which is right, true and good according to Scripture;
(3) convince individuals of sin and challenge them to seek Christ’s grace and forgiveness;
(4) motivate people to take a stand on cultural and moral issues at the local, state and national levels; and
(5) encourage Christians to bear witness to the love of Jesus Christ as they live their lives before the world.

AFA STATEMENT OF FAITH 

1.  We believe the Bible to be the inspired, the only infallible, authoritative Word of God.

2.  We believe that there is one God, eternally existent in three persons:  Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

3.  We believe in the deity of our Lord Jesus Christ, in His virgin birth, in His sinless life, in His miracles, in His vicarious and atoning death through His shed blood, in His bodily resurrection, in His ascension to the right hand of the Father, and in His personal return in power and glory.

4.  We believe that for the salvation of lost and sinful people, regeneration by the Holy Spirit is absolutely essential.

5.  We believe in the present ministry of the Holy Spirit by whose indwelling the Christian is enabled to live a godly life.

6.  We believe in the resurrection of both the saved and the lost;  they that are saved unto the resurrection of life and they that are lost unto the resurrection of damnation.

7.  We believe in the spiritual unity of believers in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Now what is wrong with the above bullshit? Firstly, and obviously, they state that there is absolutely no question in their minds that there is a God (their invisible friend, but with friends like God of the Old Testament, who needs enemies). Unfortunately, the AFA provide no evidence for this claim. The exact same must apply to their Lord Jesus Christ. There’s lots of PR and hype – no evidence that the AFA could use in a court of law to so prove his reality. Also we note their trust in the absolute infallible truth of God’s word as related in the Bible (presumable in all editions and versions and languages). Unfortunately, the Bible has been shown to be, by thousands of people, including myself, as fallible as fallible can be. So, their trilogy of God, Jesus and Bible as the be-all-and-end-all of their worldview is okay by me, if they just wouldn’t endlessly ram it down the throats of everyone else. But that’s one philosophy the extreme religious right do not adopt – live and let live. They are peas in a pod with radical Islam in that they need to ram their own narrow Biblical worldview down the throats of others.

They also adopt a similar philosophy when it comes to gay (homosexual/lesbian) relationships, and positively froth at the mouth when it comes to same-sex marriage. I’m sure the extreme religious right wing, of which the AFA is a member in good standing, their members would say that what they do behind closed doors with their wife or husband is none of anybody else’s business, no correspondence need be entered into, yet it’s okay for them to be a sort of ‘Peeping Tom’ and condemn others and the lifestyle of others.  

Their prime spokesman is one Bryan Fischer. If he’s not raving on daily about the evils of homosexuality (one of the many practically frothing at the mouth over the issue), he’s really got it in for U.S. President Obama. I’m well aware that not all Americans like all American presidents all of the time, but Fischer’s public hatred of Obama is pretty much over-the-top, though I suspect that’s partly a cover for his anti-Muslim sentiments.

Here are just a very select few of the Right Wing Watch headlines that accompany stories about Bryan Fischer and the American Family Association he represents.

“Fischer: Obama is an Antichrist’.”

“Fischer: Obama is ‘filled with arrogance’, believes that he knows better than God.”

“Fischer: A full moon is when ‘Satan chooses to activate his influence and control over people’.”

“Fischer: Abortion rights will lead to terrorist attacks.”

“Obama’s Inaugural Address sends Fischer off on another anti-gay rant.”

“Fischer: Obama is trying to make gun owners seem crazy.”

“Fischer says the anti-gay right is tired of getting ‘pushed around’ and ‘backing down’ and vows to push back.”

“Fischer: We are the victims of ‘a new moral McCarthyism’.”

“Fischer: High-capacity magazines necessary to defend yourself from a posse.”

“Fischer: Anti-gay activists are now ‘the new Rosa Parks’ and victims of Jim Crow.”

“Fischer: Natural disasters are God’s spankings.”

“Fischer: Modern assault weapons the same as hunting rifles used in the American Revolution.”

“Fischer: Fiscal Cliff legislation is ‘demonic’.”

“Fischer: Sandy Hook shooting proof that America’s ‘moral capital’ has run out.”

“Fischer: God didn’t stop CT [Connecticut] school shooting because he’s a ‘gentlemen’ who doesn’t go where he’s not wanted.”

“‘Barack the destroyer’: Bryan Fischer’s grand unified theory on Obama.”

“Fischer and Beisner say that not using fossil fuels is an insult to God.”

“Fischer: Obama is intentionally trying to keep ‘as many Americans as poor as possible’.”

“Fischer: Only eyewitness testimony can determine the age of the Earth.”

“Fischer: The 9/11 terrorists were ‘agents of God’s wrath’.”

“Fischer: Obama ‘may in fact be a closeted Muslim’.”

“Fischer: If Obama is re-elected, ‘America has no future’.”

“Fischer: I am a ‘prophetic voice’ warning against the gay agenda.” 

“Fischer: The UN is ‘deliberately seeding’ Muslims throughout the southern United States.”

“Fischer: CNN is ‘what the Gay Gestapo looks like in action’.”

“Fischer: ‘Political leadership ought to be reserved for the hands of males’.”

“Fischer: ‘We cannot give one millimetre to the forces of homosexual activism’.”

“Bryan Fischer is looking at the bright side of slavery.”

“Fischer: Liberals can’t be reasoned with, they can only be defeated.” 

“Fischer warns the ‘homosexual lobby’ will soon allow celebrations of incest, paedophilia, and bestiality.”

“Fischer demands mass public executions in response to Libya attack.”

“Fischer: We want to take America back to the Book of Genesis.”

“Fischer brings on guest to explain ‘it really all stands to reason’ that few women get pregnant from rape.”

“Bryan Fischer: Todd Akin is ‘absolutely right’ [that ‘legitimate rape’ rarely results in pregnancy].”

“Fischer and Beisner praise [Paul] Ryan’s ‘Biblical view of the environment’.”

“Fischer says ex-gay mom had an obligation to God to kidnap her daughter and flee.”

“Fischer: Obama’s re-election will lead to ‘serious talk about secession’.” 

“Fischer: ‘Muslim’s are worshiping a demon’.”

“Fischer: Removal of prayer & Ten Commandments from schools responsible for CO [Colorado] shooting.”

“Fischer: It was Liberals who opposed the fight for civil rights.”

“Fischer: Obama like a ‘street thug’ who is destroying America just for the pleasure of it.”

“Fischer: Gay biological parents should be denied custody and only allowed supervised visits.”

“Fischer: Jesus’ teaching is ‘virtually the foundation of the Second Amendment’ [right to bare arms].”

“Fischer: Gays are driven by a ‘dark, venomous, demonic hatred’.” 

“Fischer: Government should mandate that everyone attend church and tax those who don’t.”

“Fischer rewrites American history so it corresponds to the Bible.”

“Fischer: Gay marriage leads to sex with animals.”

“Fischer: Liberals have been duped by Satan.”

“Fischer: Abortion, gay rights & environmentalism are the work of Satan himself.”

I’ve only highlighted a relative few of Fisher’s recent headlines, and the above only extends back to mid-2012! So, this is just the very, very tip of the Fischer iceberg. His headline rants as documented by the Right Wing Watch (People for the American Way) extend back to 2009, and that’s way in excess of a five-fold increase on the above. But you probably get the idea by now.  

In conclusion, we note from these headlines that the rants and ravings of Bryan Fischer, and of the American Family Association, have relatively little to do with the health, education and welfare of the family unit, and everything to do with promoting their own extreme Christian agenda, especially an anti-gay and anti-Obama (translated, an anti-Muslim) agenda. Fischer will spew forth hatred with a vengeance, yet he calls himself a Christian. Go figure.

A Few Random Observations

We’ve probably all seen videos of evangelical or fundamentalist prayer, revivalist, etc., etc. meetings. Now I assume that God, assuming a God of course in the first place, has 20/20 hearing. So why is it necessary for all and sundry leading these meetings to scream their bloody fool heads off? Who are they really trying to impress by risking not only laryngitis but their vocal cords? I mean it’s not small and normal “hallelujah, praise the Lord!” but “HALLELUJAH, PRAISE THE LORD!!!” only in even larger type than this.

oooooOOOOOooooo

Is it my imagination or have I noticed that the extreme religious right wing, those vehemently anti gay, anti same-sex marriage, anti abortion, anti national health care, anti environmentalism (i.e. – climate change), anti gay-adoption, always happy to attack non-religious institution and people for their bucketing or ignoring of Biblical teachings, are absolutely silent when it comes to giving a thumbs down on the child sex abuse issue by various religious institutions and personnel. Any religious institution is good and God-fearing by definition; anything else isn’t good and has turned their back on God.

oooooOOOOOooooo

Christianity, be it the extreme right wing variety of fundamental evangelism or the more middle-of-the-road varieties, is based on one and only one thing – that God exists. Yet they never, ever, offer up any proof, or even evidence of that alleged ‘fact’ except to endlessly and endlessly quote the Bible – a very suspect document IMHO. From the pope right on down the theological line to your local vicar, no proof, even evidence, is in the offering. 

If I accuse someone of something, say murder, then the burden of proof is on me to show beyond any doubt that that someone is guilty as charged, not on that someone to prove anything to the contrary. In like fashion, if someone claims that God exists and has certain attributes, then the burden of proof is on that person to prove his or her claim.

oooooOOOOOooooo

Latest loony bit from the religious right – God does not want you (or anyone) to retire, because the word “retirement” or “retire” does not appear in the Bible! God does not want you to retire because people who retire begin to then suffer the consequences of rapidly deteriorating health – God doesn’t want that!

oooooOOOOOooooo

There have been numerous attempts to find the Biblical Garden of Eden; all have failed. But all you really need to do is find the Cherubim and the Flaming Sword that God left to guard the east access to the Garden and the Tree of Life after He gave Adam and Eve the boot out of Paradise (Genesis 3:24). What could be easier? I mean how many Cherubim and Flaming Swords do you see day to day? There’s nowhere in the Bible that states that they have been relieved of duty, so they must still be standing guard. Surely someone must have seen them in recent times.

See Also: Wilensky-Lanford, Brook; Paradise Lust: Searching for the Garden of Eden; Grove Press, New York; 2011.

oooooOOOOOooooo

There are many hundreds of alleged relics associated with Jesus, his family, disciples, the evangelists, etc. Unfortunately, none surfaced until hundreds, sometimes many, many hundreds of years after the fact. There are often multiple copies of relics, ach claiming to be THE one true relic. There are enough pieces of the holy [wooden] cross floating around to build Noah’s Ark! Anything subjected to actual scientific analysis and dating has failed to date to the relevant time frame or when it should of. Most churches refuse to allow holy relics in their possession to be subjected to scientific analysis – they probably don’t want their illusions shattered. But no amount of proof that a relic is a fraud will shake the belief of the true believer.

See Also: Nickell, Joe; The Jesus Relics: From the Holy Grail to the Turin Shroud; The History Press, Gloucestershire, U.K; 2008.

Cindy, Oh Cindy: Gimme That Old Time Religion!

We’re aware that God is interested in saving souls, I just wasn’t aware that the souls in question were on a pair of Cindy Jacobs shoes!

On a TV program called “God Knows” (as related on the website Right Wing Watch, 9 January 2013), a woman, Cindy Jacobs, made some totally outlandish claims along the lines of the Biblical God provides – those multiplying loaves and fishes scenario. She claimed that when cooking for her children and the multitudes of young friends they brought along, her spaghetti dinners just kept on keeping on, no matter how many showed up to be fed, the spaghetti pot was always full, the food just multiplied supernaturally; oil in bottles kept being supernaturally topped up a cup at a time; the tires on her car lasted way, way, way longer than anyone could possibly explain naturally; ditto a pair of her shoes refused to wear out. Praise God!

So if I got this right, there are millions starving in the world, but God gives her His preference by keeping her spaghetti pot full; millions around the world can’t afford basic necessities, yet God sees to it she gets life-everlasting shoes. If this is supposed to be proof of God’s reality, what does this say about God’s priorities? All this would be hilarious were it not for the fact that the woman was totally articulate and absolutely sincerely believed all the bullshit she was spouting off about.

In another post (20 December 2012), she also relates how an angel (apparently without wings) rendered assistance to her when things went to hell in a hand-basket at a Venezuelan airport.

Perhaps the women is in some serious need of psychiatric help (you can judge that for yourself if you view her videos), help that God fails to provide her since her shoes and spaghetti have a higher priority for God than her sanity! By the way, I’m not making any of this up. This woman has just got to be seen to be believed! You’ll find lots of her loony religious right videos, videos by apparently Doctor Cindy Jacobs on YouTube or the Right Wing Watch website. You don’t have to watch daytime TV or see blockbuster films to be entertained. She’ll keep you totally enthralled for hours and hours with her Christian looniness.

By the way, the one issue I have, that one bone to pick with these private cable-only TV Right Wing Christian Networks, which I assume “God Knows” is an example, be it Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association or Pat Robertson of the CBN (Christian Broadcasting Network): The 700 Club, or many others, is that it’s a closed shop; it’s all in-house. They spout off their extreme right wing religious messages safe in the knowledge, totally aware in the knowledge, that they cannot be cross-examined in real time, on the spot, by those experts, journalists or interviewers whose job it is, is to be sceptically aggressive. It’s like POTUS having to ‘Meet the Press’ where the only ‘investigative journalist’ or interviewer present is his wife!

Here are just a few selected headlines from Right Wing Watch website regarding Cindy Jacobs, the TV show “God Knows” and her organization Generals International.

“God miraculously made a pair of Cindy Jacobs’ shoes last for years.”

“Cindy Jacobs remembers the time God sent an angel to help her make travel arrangements.”

“Jacobs claims to have thwarted numerous terrorist attacks.”

“Jacobs warns Obama’s ‘anti-Biblical’ policies have led to ‘floods and fires and more’.”

“How Cindy Jacobs prevented two African coups.”

“Bakker and Jacobs claim to have prophesied September 11^th attacks.”

“Jacobs: Our prayers stop terrorism.”

“Jacobs: Prayer led to the capture of Manuel Noriega.”

“Cindy Jacobs: I have the power to revive dead children.”

“Jacobs: Satan seeks to destroy God’s model for the family and install tyranny.”

“Jacobs: People will be required to get a RFID [radio-frequency identification] implant to receive health care.”

“Cindy Jacobs claims American schools had no problems before 1962.”

“Jacobs: Prophets warned Jews of the Holocaust.”

“Jacobs: Elect Right-Wing politicians…Or else.”

“Cindy Jacobs prophesies Obama ‘cover-up,’ prays for religious right leaders.”  

“FRC [Family Research Council] teams with Cindy Jacobs to target 2012 elections’.  

“Cindy Jacobs unveils election initiative to ‘remove the lie of separation of church and state’.” 

“How Cindy Jacobs reversed a hysterectomy.”

“Cindy Jacobs warns of Satan’s grip in ‘ungodly’ education system.”

“Jacobs: OWS [Occupy Wall Street] protests driven by “a power of darkness’.”

“Jacobs’ prayer warriors mobilize against Occupy Wall Street.”

“Jacobs: ‘The Response’ broke the curse of Native American cannibals.”

“[Jacobs]: We are seeing natural disasters ‘because sin has reached Biblical proportions.”

“Jacobs: Ban abortion because it curses the land.”

“Jacobs: ‘Sexual immorality’ is like putting the wrong fuel into your car.”

“Jacobs: The DC earthquake is a sign from God to share the gospel.”

“Jacobs, Benefiel to spend 40 days laying spiritual ‘siege’ to Washington DC”

“Jacobs: ‘It’s time for many Jewish people to turn to the Lord’.”

“Jacobs: ‘Everything that I said has happened’.”

“Jacobs in Alaska, announces mobilization of a half million intercessors to swing 2012 election’.”

“Jacobs: America will erect a memorial on National Mall to the ‘holocaust of the unborn’.”

“Jacobs: God is using earthquake to break Japan’s pagan idolatry.”  

“Jacobs: Birds are dying because of DADT [Don’t Ask Don’t Tell] repeal.”

“Jacobs and Pierce issue warning that CA [California] will be destroyed by earthquake if Prop 8 is struck down.”

“Cindy Jacobs: The Lord is targeting elections.”

“Cindy Jacobs prophesies a third party led by Marco Rubio.”

“[Jacobs]: ‘God is going to do something supernatural in these elections’.”

“Jacobs: ‘Filling the arsenals of God’s media army’ to stop the Islamification of Fox News.”

“Jacobs calls the ‘blood-covered justice and judgments of God’ down upon her enemies.”

“How Cindy Jacobs shut down Craigslist.”

“Cindy Jacobs repents for lesbianism, ‘girl-on-girl kissing’ and ‘gender mainstreaming’.”

“Cindy Jacobs: God’s mercy depends on how we vote in 2010.”

“Cindy Jacobs issues ‘a serious warning and a call for urgent prayer’.”

“Cindy Jacobs’ prayer warriors target Prop 8 case.”

“Jacobs: May Day 2010 saved Times Square.”

“When Cindy Jacobs caused Washington DC to flood.”

“Jacobs: ‘The Bible is the government of the people, by the people and for the people’.”

“Jacobs: If you care about the environment, you’re Dominionist.”

Zeus the Almighty!

Within all human cultures over all of recorded history, there have been literally multi-thousands and thousands of supernatural deities that have formed the heart and soul of the world’s religions. Today, most educated people can name say a dozen or so of the better known. First and foremost would be the monotheistic deity, God, Allah and related names. Within the remaining polytheistic deities, most would have heard of Thor, Apollo, Quetzalcoatl, Atlas, Gaia, Poseidon, and related. One such related is the Greek King of the [Olympian] Gods – Zeus (Jupiter to the Romans). The heavyweight champion believability fight – God vs. Zeus – is the match-up of the millennia.  

God vs. Zeus: Let’s start with a thought experiment or hypothetical question. What’s more believable, monotheism or polytheism? Well, ask yourself this, if you see a bird (singular) fly overhead, do you assume that’s a one-off mono-bird or a part of a poly-bird set? Even if you just see the one, you no doubt assume the latter. A bird does not exist in isolation. Why should deities be any different? You cannot have a species of one and only one individual. The species called ‘deity’, ditto. The species God cannot exist in isolation. Monotheism is nonsense. The species of Zeus is part of polytheism – there are many Zeus-like deities. Zeus does not exist in isolation.

God’s empire vs. the domain of Zeus is cheek-by-jowl, though the contrast couldn’t be more different. You must have some general idea what life must have been like under Zeus in the days of Homer, Plato, Socrates, Aristotle right through to Alexander the Great. Equally, you must have some notion of life under the rule of the God of Israel in Old Testament times, from Moses to Abraham to Joshua and Solomon (assuming these ‘historical’ figures were actually historical. So, given a choice, which society would you opt to live in – Ancient Greece or the lands of the Bible, the so-called Holy Lands. For me it is a no-brainer. Zeus could hurl around the lightning bolts with the best of the Sky Gods, but compared to God, God’s wrath and God’s laws, Zeus is my kind of deity – if deities there must be.

Both Zeus, king of the Greek pantheon, and God (of Israel) have human qualities, but of the two, Zeus is way more credible as something humans can identify with – if you’ve got to believe in any deity that is. God’s just plain nasty, wrathful, vain and jealous. Zeus at least has some other qualities that we can admire, like bedding down the ladies, goddesses, demigoddesses and mortals alike.

Put it this way, God is prohibition, the Salem Witch trials, the Inquisition, hellfire and brimstone and the Taliban rolled into one. God’s idea of a fun afternoon is having sinners stoned to death or burned at the stake. Zeus on the other hand is a Hugh Heffner type; Zeus is a party animal. Mount Olympus is the Playboy Mansion of Ancient Greece. Zeus too has a fun afternoon of, well, never mind. This is a family-friendly essay and displayed on a family-friendly website. 

Most people in most societies have to earn or work their way up to whatever level in whatever occupation they aspire to. And so it was with Zeus. No one handed him the Olympian throne on a silver platter. He fought like the dickens for that position. God, on the other hand, we assume always had that silver spoon in His mouth and occupied that top penthouse in Heaven from Day One.

Mount Olympus vs. Heaven (somewhere over the rainbow in Never-Never Land). Zeus and company chose to live in a readily identifiable geographic location – Mount Olympus. Any mortal tourist or worshiper could venture there and pay homage. God’s abode, on the other hand, isn’t on the map. In fact it’s totally invisible geography that’s never been verified.

We know what Zeus looked like. One of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World was a super-statue of Zeus at Olympia inside a super-temple, by the Greek sculptor Phidias. Zeus, at 42 feet high, is depicted sitting on an elaborate cedar-wood throne ornamented with ebony, ivory, gold, and precious stones - and that’s just one of many statues that existed or still exist to this day. Although the Olympia super-statue is no more, we know what it, and Zeus, looked like – records survive. No Wonder of the Ancient World is dedicated to the God of Israel – nobody has the foggiest idea what God looks like even though images of God are modelled after Zeus by those who artists who have to work with something, anything. It’s not east imaging the invisible.

Zeus is clearly supernatural – he can and does shape-shift for example into both organic and inorganic forms, usually for randy purposes. But, as you’d expect, the species or clan to which Zeus belongs also are supernatural, or at least exhibit some supernatural abilities. For example, Prometheus created humans from the ground up (without need of any rib structures for the female of the species). Poseidon can ‘wave’ his magic trident and cause the seas to boil with tempest. Hermes had his magic helmet and winged sandals. And if the Gorgon Medusa could turn someone to stone just by looking at them (the evil eye?), well that’s got to be the equal of that Pillar of Salt episode. 

Poor God of Israel, He has no parents or grandparents; no brothers of sisters; He had no childhood, no playmates; He has no wife, no lovers or a mistress; He has no children. In fact, no other of His species exists. He can’t even celebrate His birthday since He has no actual birth (not having a Mum and all). How sad. I wonder what Sigmund Freud or Carl Gustav Jung would make of that? I’m no psychoanalyst or psychiatrist, but with an upbringing (or rather lack thereof), God’s got to be a few coins short of a dollar.

Zeus on the other hand had parents (Cronus and Rhea) and grandparents (Gaia and Uranus); lots of brothers (Hades and Poseidon) and sisters (Hestia, Demeter & Hera); Zeus had a childhood spend on Crete; Zeus has a sister-wife (Hera – the last of several) and many lovers/mistresses; Zeus begat lots of brats, both legit and illegit (Hercules and Helen of Troy and a whole lot more besides), and many other species of his kind – the Olympians – exist.

One quality often quoted about as a generality has something to do with absolute power and corruption. God wields absolute power, and not always for the betterment of the human race as the Old Testament verifies in graphic and gory detail. Zeus on the other hand, while king of the gods, didn’t hold absolute power. It was shared with the other Olympians. Zeus is also way more modest, making no grandiose claims about creating life, the universe and everything. Further, Zeus doesn’t refer to himself in capital letters, unlike the LORD God. It’s hard to read the Old Testament and not come to the conclusion that God is an egomaniac.

It’s rather unlikely that Zeus would have had any bone to pick with God’s realm to the east. God, on the other hand, if He be consistent, would have had two bones to chew over with His neighbour to the west. Firstly, there be gods over there, and that’s a Big No-No to the Lord God of Israel who refers to Himself as the One-and-only-God (reference the first of the Ten Commandments).  Secondly, the realm of Zeus condoned homosexuality. Zeus himself apparently had a close encounter of the gay kind with a strapping handsome young lad by the name of Ganymede. However, God apparently adopted a live-and-let-live policy. That’s just as well since, as the Titans and the Giants found out to their cost, you don’t mess with the Olympians.

Zeus and company, as well as God share one thing in common. None have been seen or heard from in thousands of years. They’ve all vanished into thin air, or maybe into the Bermuda Triangle – who knows. Perhaps that says a lot about their reality in the first place.

Philosophies of the Religious Right: Part Two

The majority of churches, religious institutions and prominent religious individuals, though deluded IMHO, are for the most part, most of the time, middle-of-the-road and live-and-let-live. But as any probability statistician can relate to, there will be minorities on either side of that road. One side of that religious road, the Right side, are not only in your face but hold opinions (usually stated as facts) and philosophies that are anything but the normal mainstream. In fact they are extreme.

The Religious Right aren’t going to pay any attention to this, but no matter, here goes.

What are some more issues the extreme Religious Right are frothing at the mouth about and is it cosmically significant?

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

A Woman’s Place

Their Point of View: In the Bible, men and women are not created equal. Therefore, marriage between a man and a woman is not an equal partnership. Women just gotta know their place, which is in the home, barefoot and pregnant, cooking and sewing and providing sex on demand! That’s obvious since in some churches or religious institutions equal opportunity/affirmative action is denied the female of the species. Last I heard the position of Pope was open to men only!

My Point of View: I have no trouble with the concept of the ‘house husband’ or the wife being the ‘breadwinner’. Hubby can cook and wash the dishes; the wife can instigate or demand sex on even days of the month; vice versa on odd days. Further, a woman should be given every opportunity to prove that she’s as dumb as the male of the species. Let’s hear it for Pope Mavis the First.

Church and State

Their Point of View: Church and State should be one and the same, with of course Christianity being the sum total of both and the be-all-and-end-all of all things.

My Point of View: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, and IMHO, the current American separation of Church and State ain’t broke.

War on Christmas

Their Point of View: Christ is the spirit, meaning and embodiment of Christmas and therefore the two cannot be separated.

My Point of View: The Religious Right object here since in their POV the War on Christmas is the removing of Christ from Christmas. Well, so it should be too, for two reasons – there’s in all probability no connection between the birth of Jesus and the 25^th of December; there is no reason to believe that Christ actually ever existed. You cannot have a Christ in Christmas if Christ does not exist and nobody has ever proved that Christ ever existed, in the same way as say Alexander the Great, Napoleon, Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Henry the Eighth have been proved to have existed. Further, there are many with worldviews that exclude Christ (real or otherwise) from their belief systems and who resent having a Christ in Christmas shoved down their throats. And besides, anybody who is anybody and who lives in the real world is fully aware (thanks to January bills) that the spirit, meaning and embodiment of all things Christmas is consumerism and the more of that the better.

Cause and Effect

Their Point of View: The Religious Right Wing tends to make a lot of cause-and-effect assertions which they could never ever in a month-of-Sundays (and then some) prove in any court of law, yet they go on and on and on making these assertions as if these statements were absolute fact. For example:

* Disasters like Hurricane Sandy, Hurricane Katrina, a massive killer tornado outbreak, or any other ‘natural’ act causing death and/or destruction are the direct result of God’s wrath because America (or any other Christian nation) is wicked and has turned her back on the Almighty.

* American soldiers and police officers killed in the line of duty died because God hates fags and America is a fag-loving society, or at least accepts them into society, into the police force and into the military.

* Mass shootings in schools are the direct result of prayer that has been banned from these public institutions.  

My Point of View: As I said above, none of this can be proved and ultimately has as much substance and significance to the population as any other fantasy statement presented as fact.

Some Other Looney Points of View

I picked up most of these one-off Religious Right Wing bits throughout 2012.

Their Point of View:

* Church attendance should be as close to compulsory as makes no odds and an atheist tax imposed on those not attending church.

* Belief in manmade global warming/climate change is an insult to God because He provided us with the gifts of fossil fuels which He intended for us to use.

* Gays, atheists, Muslims, and other undesirables shouldn’t be allowed to hold any positions of authority.

* All undesirables should be deported.

* Gays should be put to death; in fact any punishments for any Biblical sins should be carried out in the ways the Bible dictates, like executions that require stoning to death.

* Religious instruction and prayer should be made mandatory in all public schools, as well as the Ten Commandments displayed prominently.

* All elected officials must take an oath affirming their belief in God and the literal Bible.

My Point of View: Very loud raspberries for each and every dot point. Actually I think the extreme Religious Right Wing should be deported as undesirables, starting with the membership of the Westboro Baptist Church. 

Conclusions

Their Point of View: The extreme Religious Right Wing are not happy campers and they keep threatening all and sundry that we’re a collective Sodom, Gomorrah and Babylon all rolled into one wicked society; God is pissed; God’s wrath is upon us; God’s gonna kick our ass sooner rather than later; and in fact it’s just gloom and doom times ahead. The end is nigh. Hell is gonna become very crowded very quickly unless we repent, Repent and REPENT!

My Point of View: We’ve been hearing that sad and sorry tale for generations, and then some. It is high time for the Religious Right Wing to put up or shut up. Prove God exists and has all those wrathful traits you assign Him. A Sherlock Holmes story reads as being perfectly plausible, but you cannot use that story and therefore conclude that Sherlock Holmes exists or existed. And so by the way, you cannot use the Bible to prove the Bible, anymore than you can use a textbook that says it is true as proof that it is true. You need independent verification, for the existence of Sherlock Holmes or the truth of the Bible. And that’s where the Religious Right collapses in a heap of rubble. There is no independent source. Maybe the Religious Right can make God show His face for the first time in way over 2000 years, but if they can’t back up all their huffing and puffing then they should just exit, stage left, from society, for good. Never have so few spouted off so much hellfire and brimstone hot air over so long a time frame and have so little to show for it. And here you probably thought just politicians were the real huff-and-puffers. Not even close, unless of course they are associated with the Right Wing of the GOP/Tea Party!

Philosophies of the Religious Right: Part One

The majority of churches, religious institutions and prominent religious individuals, though deluded IMHO, are for the most part, most of the time, middle-of-the-road and live-and-let-live. But as any probability statistician can relate to, there will be minorities on either side of that road. One side of that religious road, the Right side, are not only in your face but hold opinions (usually stated as facts) and philosophies that are anything but the normal mainstream. In fact they are extreme.

During the recent (2012) American election campaign, several Republican (GOP)/Tea Party candidates got some (probably) unwanted publicity by making out-of-the-box and extreme comments with Religious Right Wing overtones on topics such as church and state; legitimate rape; rape and God’s plan; same-sex marriage; the literal creation-in-six-days Bible, and so on. Not that extreme out-of-the-box worldviews were confined to politicians and wannabe politicians. There are a whole potful of organisations and individuals from shock-jock media personalities, news commentators, televangelists, and lots more who routinely come out with outrageous foot-in-mouth and extreme Right Wing points of view, nearly always with a Christian religious slant. I learned a lot about the extreme Right Wing by following the US election campaign unfolding. Here’s my summation based on what exposure I had over those many, many, many endless months while the campaign coverage was in full swing.

The Religious Right aren’t going to pay any attention to this, but no matter, here goes.

What are the issues the extreme Religious Right are frothing at the mouth about and is it cosmically significant?

The Literal Bible:

Their Point of View: Since the Bible is the infallible God’s Holy Word, all Biblical Books, Chapters and Verses; all versions of the Bible; all translations of the Bible; were under His Almighty editorship, and therefore, how can you not take the Bible literally. If God says that life, the universe and everything were created in six days, then that’s absolute fact. If God says that the first man was made from dust and the first woman from that man’s rib, you’d better believe it. If Genesis relates that Lot’s wife was turned into a pillar of salt, it was so (and if the Bible says it was so, it was so and you could sprinkle her onto your fish-and-chips). If the Bible acknowledges the existence of unicorns, then unicorns exist (or existed). And so on and so forth from Genesis to Revelation.

My Point of View: All you need to do is find one logical contradiction, one fallacy, one bit that goes so against the grain; that being the case, the entire Biblical house of cards has to come tumbling down. Let’s just say that entire books have been written pointing out in exquisite detail Biblical contradictions, fallacies, and untruths that only Blind Freddy with an absolutely closed mind (my mind is made up, don’t confuse me with facts) can fail to acknowledge what to everyone else is the bleeding obvious. If, and that’s a big if, God exists, He is not infallible, His memory is faulty, or He didn’t bother to oversee the master editing of His Holy Word. If He couldn’t or wouldn’t ensure Biblical accuracy, well what does that tell you about the bona fides of the Almighty?

Evolution

Their Point of View: Since God created life, the universe and everything in roughly the year 4004 BCE, and since God created all life forms in the form to which we see them today, then the entire concept of natural selection and biological evolution is nonsense. There’s not enough time for evolution to have happened. There is no need to evolve a giraffe since God created the giraffe. Since God created Homo sapiens there is no need to postulate that human beings evolved from apes. Evolution is all absolute rubbish.

My Point of View: I fail to see what is so hard for anyone to comprehend here. Evolutionary theory should be obvious to even blind Freddy (a synonym for the Religious Right). The logic is ironclad. Parents (of any species) give rise to offspring that are NOT identical to themselves. That in itself is evolution – a change. Some of those offspring may be better adapted to survive long enough to reproduce more offspring in turn vis-à-vis some of their brothers and sisters. Those ever so slightly better able to reproduce will pass on more likely as not some of those positive features to more offspring than their less adapted siblings. Over time, those better adapted leave behind more descendants than those less well adapted who leave behind fewer offspring. That sort of feedback mechanism ensures evolution, which is just change over time. Evolutionary theory is however backed up by physical evidence; fossil evidence for starters, not to mention firsthand eyeball observations of evolutionary change happening in the here and now.

Intelligent Design

Their Point of View: Life, the universe and everything is so perfectly constructed and interrelated like some fitted together zillion piece jigsaw puzzle that only a Supreme Deity could have pulled it off and put it together. A clock requires a clockmaker; or as Fred Hoyle put it, a tornado doesn’t rip through a junkyard and assembles a Boeing 747. 

My Point of View: The fallacy here is the assumption that there was total chaos (an unassembled jigsaw puzzle; clock parts lying on a bench; a junkyard that had all the bits and pieces necessary for a Boeing 747) and then a snap of the intelligent design fingers and low and behold a zillion piece jigsaw puzzle is assembled; a clock starts ticking away; a Boeing 747 is all fuelled up and ready for takeoff. Forgotten in this equation is is time, and lots of it and probability theory. If you sit down at the poker table, you’re not likely to be dealt a Royal Flush, but by manipulation of what you throw away and what you gain, you increase the odds of ending up with one. That’s evolution, from chaos to finished product. Then too, over the course of a lifetime and thousands of games and hundreds of thousands of hands, the odds of you getting dealt a Royal Flush right off the bat increase. It will probably happen, if not to you then to someone else, like your opponent. Time and probability help turn chaos into complexity. There’s a long, long, long chain of events twixt chaos and a Boeing 747, and a lot of time required, like 13.7 billion years worth. That’s hardly a quick snap of the intelligent design fingers. In any case, any scientist can easily point out that that zillion piece jigsaw puzzle not only has a few pieces missing but some pieces haven’t been assembled intelligently at all. If a perfect God created a perfect human being (intelligent design), how come many of us acquire back troubles? 

Homosexuality

Their Point of View: Same-sex relations of a sexual nature are unnatural and God doesn’t like it (probably because you can’t do your ‘be fruitful and multiple’ thingy bit).

My Point of View: My position is that what two (or more) consenting adults do behind closed doors is none of my business. It has no bearing on my life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. What two married adults, same sex or opposite sexes, do behind closed doors is none of my business. Ditto that life, liberty and happiness bit. The only issue I haven’t quite come to terms with is whether same-sex couples should raise children. In theory it shouldn’t matter; in actual practice, given the realities of human culture and society and worldviews, all else being equal, it might be better if children weren’t raised in a same-sex atmosphere, but I’m still fence-sitting on that.

Equality in Marriage

Their Point of View: Marriage is between one man and one woman – full stop. All else is an abomination in the eyes of God.

My Point of View: If two men, or two women, wish to marry, it’s no skin off my back. Different strokes for different folks, that’s my motto.

Contraception

Their Point of View: Contraception/Birth Control is an attempt to thwart God’s ‘be fruitful and multiply’ commandment and therefore it is a no-no.

My Point of View: Some couples don’t want kids (shock, horror, blasphemy). Some couples cannot afford kids. Some couples have jobs and lifestyles not suited to parenthood or raising a family. Which is the better option, no conception in the first place and an unwanted child in poverty that’s ignored, or conception in the first place with no grief on down the line? Besides, if you’re not bringing a new life into the world, at least you’re not condemning that non-life to an eventual death.

Abortion

Their Point of View: A human life starts at the moment of conception. Therefore, abortion, a post-conception act, must be murder, which God forbids (though God kills Himself, but that’s another topic).

My Point of View: Until such time as a foetus has a reasonable chance of surviving outside of the womb, the foetus is part of the anatomy of the mother. The mother has the right to decide about what happens to her own anatomy. Abortion is okay. Once that foetus crosses the threshold, then, unless the life of the women is endangered, no abortion. If the pregnancy isn’t by consent, say via rape, inside or outside of marriage; same distinction. But since the rape induced pregnancy will be known about quite some time before the foetus can survive outside of the womb, the mother can make an informed decision to abort or not abort as she sees fit. 

To be continued…