God, the Psychopathic Killer: The Tenth Plague: Part Two

God is a cold-blooded, premeditated, serial killer. The Bible says so. With respect to that tenth plague inflicted upon ancient Egypt, death to the firstborn, there’s no wriggle room here. God did not delegate; no one else did the deed; it was no one else’s idea; God and God alone must bear 100% of the responsibility for His actions and the death of up to a fifth of the entire ancient Egyptian population. To add insult to injury, others celebrate those deaths via the Passover!  

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

Point Seven: God also executed judgment against the gods of Egypt (Exodus 12:12). Sorry, but my reading of that little announcement suggests, indeed demands, that there is such a thing as the gods of Egypt, since you can’t pass judgment against something that doesn’t exist! Therefore, God, by his very act, acknowledges the reality of polytheism. Perhaps the gods of Egypt should cast judgment of the God of Israel! Would any impartial jury rule for the God of Israel, or the gods of Egypt? Methinks it’s an open and shut case. God is the murderer, not anyone else, not gods, rulers, commoners or the beasts of Egypt can or should be held accountable.

Point Eight: The mass murder of numerous Egyptian citizens is actually ‘celebrated’ by various cultures in something called the Passover. The origins of Passover reside in this ‘historical’ firstborn execution, in that God’s Chosen People, the Israelites that were in Egypt at the time, were passed over when it came to smiting the firstborn. So, for all of you out there in reader-land, if you celebrate Passover, you’re celebrating mass murder by your almighty deity.

Least there be any doubt about this, interested readers are invited to check out Exodus chapter 12 for God’s instructions leading up to verse 11 which notes the “Passover” and verse 12 which notes that God will “pass though the land of Egypt” doing His imitation of Charles Manson but sparing those who took heed of the introductory verses of Exodus 12. It’s made crystal clear shortly after, and we notice how the people then worshiped the Biblical Charles Manson. Actually that’s unfair to Charles for he didn’t come close to God’s numbers, not by a long shot. 

*Exodus 12:27 - That ye shall say, It is the sacrifice of the LORD's passover, who passed over the houses of the children of Israel in Egypt, when he smote the Egyptians, and delivered our houses. And the people bowed the head and worshipped.

Point Nine: Obviously God is very, very proud of His mass murder as the Bible (God’s word) refers to it again and again.

*Numbers 3:13 - Because all the firstborn are mine; for on the day that I smote all the firstborn in the land of Egypt I hallowed unto me all the firstborn in Israel, both man and beast: mine shall they be: I am the LORD.

*Numbers 8:17 - For all the firstborn of the children of Israel are mine, both man and beast: on the day that I smote every firstborn in the land of Egypt I sanctified them for myself.

*Numbers 33:4 - For the Egyptians buried all their firstborn, which the LORD had smitten among them: upon their gods also the LORD executed judgments.

*Psalm 78:51 - And smote all the firstborn in Egypt; the chief of their strength in the tabernacles of Ham.

*Psalm 135:8 - Who smote the firstborn of Egypt, both of man and beast.

*Psalm 136:10 - To him that smote Egypt in their firstborn: for his mercy endureth for ever.

Point Ten: Note the use of the words “smote” and “mercy” in the same sentence. Wow!

Point Eleven: The tenth plague is not an isolated one-off incident. There are numerous other instances from the Bible that equally point out God as being the Jack the Ripper or Charles Manson or any other modern mass murderer, sadistic, serial killer you care to cite as that personified in the Old Testament. For example, please consult Deuteronomy 20:10-17. If all that’s not enough to convince you, there’s always Ezekiel. The following chapter and verses should convince you that the tenth plague was not an isolated incident. Ezekiel 12:20; 25:17; 28:23; 30:26; 32:15; 33:29; 35:4; and 35:9.

Point Twelve: If you in fact looked at those eight Ezekiel chapter and verses, you’ll have noted a certain phrase repeated over again and again. We note the everlasting phrase “I am the LORD”. Just to make sure you don’t forget it, that phrase is repeated 162 times in the Bible (King James Version). I personally think that’s a bit on the side of overkill. Can you imagine an American president again and again reminding Americans who is top dog and boss by thundering out “I am the PRESIDENT”! Such constant reminders might be suggestive that the utterances come from one who is really a tad insecure in the position. 

Point Thirteen: Speaking of the president, the modern relevance of this little exercise is that yet, in modern America, the 21^st Century, you have had presidential candidates (unnamed, but you know who they are), who would be happy to end the separation of church and state and who would govern from the White House according to the texts of the Bible. Governing according to the Bible would mean carrying out God’s version of foreign policy, which is, according to the Bible, something akin to a policy that tends to shoot first, shoot often, shoot to kill and don’t worry about asking all those awkward later questions as dead men tell no tales; the hell with all those later questions, full stop. The President and Commander-in-Chief would be playing the role of God and that would have to include being willing to carry out all the sort of God-performed and God-endorsed atrocities of the Old Testament, like that tenth plague. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. My reading of this is America, be afraid, be very afraid, for even if it doesn’t come to pass in 2012, there’s always 2016, or four years later, or four years after that. Sooner or later, ‘God’ in the persona of POTUS (President of the United States) will be elected. 

P.S. The closest America came to having ‘God’ in the White House was Christian fundamentalist and thrice Presidential candidate (and triple loser) William Jennings Bryan. Bryan has totally against the theory of evolution and the teaching of that theory in American schools and universities. His main claim to fame is that he was the guest prosecutor in the 1925 Scopes Trial, or the so-called Monkey Trial”. Teacher John T. Scopes was accused of teaching Darwinian evolution to his students in violation of Tennessean state law.  When Bryan himself was placed on the stand by the defence attorney, the famed Clarence Darrow, as an expert in all things Biblical, well the verdict was that Darrow made a ‘monkey’ out of Bryan. Bryan died just five days after the trial ended. Though Scopes was found guilty, the verdict was later overturned on a technicality.

Biblical Foreign Policy: Make War, Not Love: Part Two

When we think of religious fanatics, we think of those long ago times like the Crusades and the Inquisition and those who imposed the doctrines of Christianity by force on non-Christian societies like those in Africa and the Americas. Or, perhaps we think of some modern countries today that have one form or another of religious fundamentalism at the core of their domestic and foreign policies. But surely nations like the United States have not had, and do not have, any such associations, at least at leadership levels. Well, as the 2012 Presidential election campaign rolls on, one has to wonder if that could change.

When it comes to Biblical (God’s) foreign policy things aren’t personal issues anymore but national issues. And those national issues have implications above and beyond national borders. Those national issues do indeed have implications for life, the universe and everything. So, pray tell, what’s foreign policy when it comes to Biblical texts – those words of God – or God’s directives when it comes to foreign affairs? In short, it’s ‘shoot first and don’t bother asking questions later’. Here are further examples.

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

If all that’s not enough to convince you, there’s always Ezekiel. I mean another instrument of foreign policy are threats – maybe blockades, maybe trade or other economic sanctions, or withdrawing diplomatic recognition. But in Biblical times, something usually stronger was implied, as the following ‘I will’ or ‘I shall’ threats (or promises) make abundantly clear.

*Ezekiel 12:20: And the cities that are inhabited shall be laid waste, and the land shall be desolate; and ye shall know that I am the LORD.

*Ezekiel 25:17: And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

*Ezekiel 28:23: For I will send into her pestilence, and blood into her streets; and the wounded shall be judged in the midst of her by the sword upon her on every side; and they shall know that I am the LORD.

*Ezekiel 30:26: And I will scatter the Egyptians among the nations, and disperse them among the countries; and they shall know that I am the LORD.

*Ezekiel 32:15: When I shall make the land of Egypt desolate, and the country shall be destitute of that whereof it was full, when I shall smite all them that dwell therein, then shall they know that I am the LORD.

*Ezekiel 33:29: Then shall they know that I am the LORD, when I have laid the land most desolate because of all their abominations which they have committed.

*Ezekiel 35:4: I will lay thy cities waste, and thou shalt be desolate, and thou shalt know that I am the LORD.

*Ezekiel 35:9: I will make thee perpetual desolations, and thy cities shall not return: and ye shall know that I am the LORD.

We note the everlasting phrase “I am the LORD”. Just to make sure you don’t forget it, that phrase is repeated 162 times in the Bible (King James Version). I personally think that’s a bit on the side of overkill. Can you imagine an American president again and again reminding Americans by bellowing out repeatedly “I am the PRESIDENT”! Such constant reminders might be suggestive that the utterances come from one who is really a tad insecure in the position. 

Just to wrap up this little illustration on how God treats His subjects, foreign and domestic, consider these.

*Joshua 24:19: And Joshua said unto the people, Ye cannot serve the LORD: for he is an holy God; he is a jealous God; he will not forgive your transgressions nor your sins.

*Nahum 1:2: God is jealous, and the LORD revengeth; the LORD revengeth, and is furious; the LORD will take vengeance on his adversaries, and he reserveth wrath for his enemies.

This doesn’t relate much to the warm and fuzzy idea of a compassionate; merciful; love your enemies; forgiving God, does it?

Now let us fast forward to modern times.

By Biblical rationality and policy, the United States of America should probably smite both Canada and Mexico – the former for giving safe harbour to all those anti Vietnam War draft dodgers, not to mention Canadians having the audacity to believe that ice hockey is a better sport than baseball – blasphemy, heathens all; and the latter for all those illegal alien migrants who can’t even speak English, not to mention being a major drug supplier to the Land of the Free. And as for Cuba, they at least deserve the Sodom and Gomorrah treatment!

And if that Vietnamese War had happened in Old Testament times, North Vietnam really would have been bombed back to the Stone Age as several hawk generals advised at the time; and the Korean War would have ended in 1952 instead of the never-ending stalemate that drags on, and on and on. There just wouldn’t be a North Korea in existence today. The Cold War would have been at least a Warm War if not a Hot-As-Hell-War. If God had been president, Saddam Hussein and sons would have been toast at the end of the first Gulf War. 

Half a world away, Australia should kick Indonesia’s ass not only for the Bali massacre and allowing all those boat people access to their territory to they can row, row, row their boats into Australian territorial waters, but for the explicit torture of Australian livestock that’s exported live to that rather barbaric nation. To Australian Christian values, Indonesia’s non-Christian infidels should be struck down in good old fashion Old Testament style and the sooner the better. But then again that inspired 2004 Asian tsunami, an act of God and therefore God’s wrath, did deal death out to a few of those Indonesian bastards (still, a few is better than none). This was God’s will, obviously, and it hinted at what Australian foreign policy should be – the only good Indonesian is a dead Indonesian!  

While I’m sure every country and every county’s leader(s) have some rational to want to be able to act like God and smite enemies left, right and centre, fortunately most can’t. However, the USA can and that means their leader, the US president of the day can take on the role of God. The question is, do you want any American president to really act like God acts?

Of course God isn’t just reactive; He is also proactive, so I can imagine that if God had been sitting in the Oval Office all these years, not only would the Stars and Stripes (or some Biblical version of the American flag) be flying all over the world, but domestic Biblical policy, God’s policy, would be equally universal. No women’s rights, especially regarding reproductive rights; the death penalty would be standard and include a lot of transgressions not currently included – and no private lethal injections, rather public stoning or burning at the stake would be the norm. Of course slavery would be rife, and there would be no such thing as privacy behind closed doors for consenting adults. Animal sacrifices would be standard and animal welfare organisations would be banned.

If God were in the White House you’d be living not under the American Constitution and Bill of Rights but under the yoke of those hundreds of do’s and don’ts that make up God’s personal constitution. There would be no democracy, no Bill of Rights, no need or even right to vote. It would be an Orwellian society but instead of “Big Bother is watching you” it’s an all knowing “God is watching you” 24/7/52.

The modern relevance of this little exercise is that, in modern America, the 21^st Century, you have presidential candidates (unnamed, but you know who they are), who would be happy to end the separation of church and state and who would govern from the White House according to the texts of the Bible – God’s holy words. Governing according to the Bible would mean carrying out God’s version of not only domestic policy but foreign policy, which is, according to the Bible, something akin to a policy that tends to be shoot first, shoot often, shoot to kill and don’t worry about asking all those later questions as dead men tell no tales; the hell with all those later questions, full stop. The President and Commander-in-Chief would be playing the role of God and that would have to include being willing to carry out all God’s policies and the entire sort of God-performed and God-endorsed atrocities of the Old Testament. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. In fact I’m seeing increasing references to the Grand Old Party, the GOP, the American Republican Party, as “God’s Own Party”. My reading of this is America, be afraid, be very afraid.

P.S. The closest America came to having ‘God’ in the White House was Christian fundamentalist and thrice Presidential candidate (and triple loser) William Jennings Bryan. Bryan has totally against the theory of evolution and the teaching of that theory in American schools and universities. His main claim to fame is that he was the guest prosecutor in the 1925 Scopes Trial, or the so-called Monkey Trial”. Teacher John T. Scopes was accused of teaching Darwinian evolution to his students in violation of Tennessean state law.  When Bryan himself was placed on the stand by the defence attorney, the famed Clarence Darrow, as an expert in all things Biblical, well the verdict was that Darrow made a ‘monkey’ out of Bryan. Bryan died just five days after the trial ended. Though Scopes was found guilty, the verdict was later overturned on a technicality.