So Help Me God

One positive attributed to our trilogy of monotheistic religions is that they form some sort of moral, ethical, legal bedrock for our various civilizations, and without these religious texts we’d all be barbarians if not Neanderthals. Still, when it comes to our legal system, God and the Bible, for example, are not just in the background, but usually offstage, even out on the street.

The Bible contains hundreds of God’s required rituals, laws or commandments as related mainly in the trilogy of the Books of Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy, which are mainly all about better homes and gardens, especially foods, sacrifices, money matters, duties, religious observances – not exactly the stuff of courtroom dramas. Perry Mason wouldn’t have a bar of this Biblical trivia; it would be a total waste of his time and talents. If fact, if you suffer from insomnia, and you need a quick fix, just have a read through of all those highly repetitive do’s and don’ts. You’ll be sawing logs in no time!

Despite that excruciatingly boring multitude of God’s laws, even including the top Ten Commandments as related twice over in Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5, the fact is there is relatively little of God, God’s commandments or influence, or of the Bible itself when it comes to the legal system of most western civilized countries. For all practical purposes, the legal system doesn’t recognise God despite the common image we’ve all seen in courtroom scenes of the witness, with hand on the Bible, being asked words to the effect of  “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?”. Well, if you’re caught out in an act of perjury, it’s not God that’s going to kick your butt!

“In God we trust” doesn’t apply in a court of law either. Evidence speaks way louder than trust, or faith or belief. In fact, trust, faith or belief would be inadmissible as evidence.

In a court of law, you can’t call God as a witness either for the defence or the prosecution. Well maybe you can, but at the expense of making yourself look pretty foolish. God’s going to be a no-show.

I very much doubt you could justify speeding or leaving the scene of an accident, say a hit-and-run, because you were running late for a religious ceremony and God would be pissed if you were late.

Insurance companies couldn’t claim an Act of God for a natural disaster like a flood to avoid paying out claims for damages.

The accused can’t cite God as the reason or inspiration for doing something illegal, no matter how often the Bible says your action was okay, like stoning someone to death. There is no such thing as the Biblical Defence, though that’s not true in all cultures which have national legal systems based entirely on their adopted religious texts. Did I hear someone whisper Islam for example? 

Now taking those famous Ten Commandments, often found on monuments in or outside of numerous courthouses, how many have been seriously adopted in our western civilized legal systems?

Now first I’d better point out that there is no such thing as THE Ten Commandments. There is not just one version (they appear twice in the King James Version of the Bible at Exodus 20:1-17 and Deuteronomy 5: 6-21) or interpretation or ordering, it’s all depending on what your choice of source is, but the general basics tend to involve the following.

#1: There shall be no others gods before God – I bet they don’t teach this one in law school, unless the Almighty was the Dean.

#2: There shall be no idols or idolatry – There’s no Idolatry 101 in law school either.

#3: There shall be no cussing out God – If anything, swearing in general is a minor civil matter, even against the Almighty.

#4: Honour the [Biblical] Sabbath (which is really Saturday, the seventh day of the week, not Sunday, which is really the first day of the week, just look at your wall calendar) – There still are some restrictions on Sunday trading in some areas, but the purse strings have been loosened considerably over the decades. If Sunday trading is against the law, it’s only barely. It probably originated in the first place back in the days when most of the population was rural and there had to be time in this horse-and-buggy era to allow traders, sellers and buyers a chance to travel to attend church services, back in the days when attendance was the norm.

#5: Honour Mum and Dad (in the Bible that means look out for and after the old folk) – This is a social thing. Parents have a legal obligation raising their kiddies, but there’s no reciprocation requirement when those kiddies reach adulthood.

#6: Do not kill – Okay, that’s one run on the criminal law board, though God should be embarrassed beyond all measure at stating this given His track record. This is probably the most blatant example of a deity’s ‘do as I say, not as I do’ that you’ll find in any religious text anywhere.

#7: Do not be adulterous – Well adultery may rate highly in the tabloids and the woman’s magazines, even making headlines in major newspapers and news bulletins, depending on the who, what, where, when and why, but it’s ultimately a civil or domestic matter and pretty low on the totem pole as well in overall importance.

#8: Do not steal – Okay, that’s two runs on the serious side of all things criminal.

#9: Do not bear false witness – That’s three runs scored.

#10: Do not covet – You can’t go to jail for what you’re thinking.

Only three out of the ten are really serious legal matters. In baseball, .300 is slightly above average. When it comes to adopting God’s laws, a .300 average is pretty poor pickings.

Anyway, the Big Three commandments are hardly unique to Biblical times. They predate the Bible and are concepts found in all pre-Biblical cultures or societies. It doesn’t take a deity to come up with these. Any ten year old could come up with these legal concepts. It’s hardly the stuff of deep philosophical thought. In any event, if convicted of any of these in a court of law, you’re not accused of having broken this or that Commandment attributed to God of the Old Testament, rather you violated Section X, Subsection Y of Criminal Code Z.

International Law

Any future despots, tyrants, dictators, and those with delusions of world domination will be well advised to read the Old Testament from cover-to-cover and back again to see how it’s done by the Expert-of-Experts, the Almighty. Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery! Past and present despots, tyrants, dictators, and those with delusions of world domination haven’t held a candle to God, so there’s scope for massive improvement when it comes to Dictatorship: The Next Generation. The slight fly in the ointment is that the Almighty is not available to be the subject of prosecution by international law, whereas future tyrants might just end up with their butts kicked and necks stretched.

So what are some of God’s achievements on the international stage that are suggestive of being crimes against humanity?

Terrorism (Sodom and Gomorrah) – tick!

Genocide (the Biblical Flood) – tick!

Mass Murder (the Tenth Plague) – tick!

Torture (Job, Jonah) – tick!

Invasion (of the Land of Canaan) – tick!

That’s an outstanding list to aspire to for all those future wannabe rulers of the universe!

In summary, you might swear on the Bible and before God, but you can not use God and the Bible to defend your actions in criminal, civil or international law. As a source of legal wisdom, God and the Bible are near worthless and hardly a unique source of ethics, morality or legalities in any event.

God Has Passed His ‘Use By’ Date: Part One

What does the phrase “past its use by date” mean? It means the product is no longer relevant or serves the purpose for which it was once intended; it’s superseded; irrelevant; it’s outdated; if organic it stinks, leaves a bad taste in your mouth, can be harmful to your health and wellbeing, and all-round is a product better discarded into the rubbish bin, buried, incinerated and forgotten about. That seems to sum up the product we call God of the Old Testament.

Most western civilized people would probably agree that promotion of concepts like one person being the be-all-and-end-all trinity of judge, jury and executioner; genocide; mass murder; slavery; animal abuse; discrimination; physical and/or mental torture; dictatorship; massive displays of ego and demands to be worshiped, are all well and truly past their use by date. Most western civilized people apparently believe in the existence of God. God on the other hand is one who promotes, condones, and even actively participates in the above concepts. If logic has any meaning, that suggests that God is well past His use by date.

God’s Old Testament philosophy (worship me and me alone or else), public policy (favouritism to the Hebrews) and personal actions (mass murder of the Egyptian firstborn for example) were already out of touch even before BCE turned into the CE, far less having any relevance in the modern 21^st Century. It’s time to kiss God’s insanity a not-quite-so-fond farewell – and good riddance to bad rubbish. God is not a role model anyone should wish to follow, unless of course you’re a fan of Hitler, or as one with the Taliban.

If you want a modern parallel to God of the Old Testament – well the Taliban come damn close. God could be their role model, though not even the Taliban are quite up to God’s standard of atrocities. I’m sure most Americans would suggest the Taliban are well past their use by date, in fact should never have been harvested at all. Ditto that sentiment for the Almighty. 

For example, one cannot be both pro-God and pro-life (or anti-abortion) since God of the Old Testament can hardly be described as adopting a pro-life philosophy, despite His do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do “Thou shall not kill”. God is the world’s most accomplished practitioner of genocide (as in the Biblical flood). God does not hold life sacred. Sodom and Gomorrah and the invasion of the Land of Canaan are proof of that.

That was then; now is now. There have been two especially topical issues near and dear to the hearts of fundamentalists who bow down to the Almighty – abortion and close encounters between members of the same sex.

That other very topical no-no issue other than a woman’s rights over her own body including abortion are lesbian and homosexual rights, especially same sex marriage. Now the Bible (KJV) doesn’t even mention the word ‘homosexual’ or ‘lesbian’ or the phrase ‘same sex’ or for that matter even the word ‘sex’ or ‘sexual’ or ‘unnatural’. Any references to same sex sexual relationships are obscured in very vague phrases like ‘that we may know them’. That phrase ‘know them’ apparently is Biblical doublespeak for things unnatural and naughty. Now the overriding point here is that what any two (or more) consenting adults do behind closed doors is none of anybody else’s business, especially as any such activity has absolutely no impact on your lifestyle, freedoms, etc. And that doesn’t change just because they have a piece of paper that says ‘married’. Just as you value your privacy and don’t want others prying into your affairs, well, ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. We note that there is no commandment (amongst the Big Ten) against same sex marriage or same sex anything for that matter. God provides no justification for you to cast the first stone.

Between way back then, and the here and now, both God and Biblical texts support and endorse the concept of slavery, which nearly all of the rest of modern civilized nations now reject. If there is no justification for slavery, yet God justifies it, then God has certainly reached his ‘use by’ date on that issue.

Hitler and associates have been condemned by the civilized world for their policy of genocide against the Jewish population, and no doubt Hitler would have stood trial and been ultimately executed for that policy had he not committed suicide in his Berlin bunker in May of 1945. So how come God hasn’t been equally condemned for his near extermination of the entire human race vis-à-vis that forty day and night rain event? Hitler and company reached their use by date well and truly, and that applies equally to God the exterminator.

It’s one thing to ‘invade’ another’s territory with ‘honourable’ intentions like the Coalition of the Willing did in Iraq and NATO has done in Afghanistan, or the Allies did when they had to invade Nazi Germany and would have done to Japan had it not been for a A-Bomb. In hindsight, the invasions of Central and South America by the Spanish (for gold, glory and God) or of North America by various European nations (citizens often escaping religious persecution) and of Australia by the British (as a dumping ground for undesirable elements) are today considered not quite as justifiable than it was at that time with all the gung-ho nationalism that was exulted and the norm during the golden age of exploration and colonization.  In hindsight, the native inhabitants of those lands have some just grievances.

However, it’s not normally the socially acceptable thing for one advanced country (or peoples) to invade another country (or peoples) equally as civilized with the intention of forever occupying that country, though history is full of examples. But there is a massive difference when such a policy is instigated by humans relative to when that policy is instigated by God. If Fascist Italy & Nazi Germany (especially) can be bucketed for invading Europe and Russia, or Japan for invading Asia and the Pacific, why then is it okay for God to have had His Chosen People invade the Land of Canaan or in alternative terminology, the Promised Land, with God’s view or intention towards permanent occupancy? Whether it was the Axis of WWII or the Chosen Peoples of Old Testament times, there was violence, blood was spilled, and death and destruction resulted. So, today Japan, Italy and Germany get the thumbs down for precipitating WWII; God still gets thumbs up. If invasion is unacceptable for colonization purposes, then sorry, all (including God) are past their ‘use by’ date.  

God’s perverse nature doesn’t even have to be a major happening or Biblical event for it to be evident. God’s everyday-in-everyway inhumane treatment of individuals is rife in the Old Testament, from exiling Adam and Eve, to giving old Abraham a near heart attack, to Job’s torments, to imprisoning Jonah for three days in the stomach acid of a large marine animal, to having His Chosen People wander about the wilderness for 40 years. And poor old Moses, forced at 80 years of age to carry two heavy slabs of rock down a mountain. You’d of thought the Almighty could have penned His Commandments on papyrus. God’s idea of fun-and-games would, in the modern United States (and other civilized countries), be considered within the category of cruel and unusual punishments – banned by the American Constitution.

Now consider the first three of God’s Ten Commandments. Substitute the President of the United States (POTUS) for God. Can you imagine a POTUS thundering out phrases along the lines of “thou shall have no other presidents before me”; “you shall not have images or statues or busts of other presidents”; “thou shall not bow down and honour them with public holidays (no Washington’s and Lincoln’s Birthday holidays) or read their biographies or encyclopaedia entries for I am a jealous POTUS”, and “thou shall not curse me or write negative editorials about me or fail to vote for me, because I AM THE GREATEST!” Any such POTUS would be railroaded out of office so fast their head would spin – if they even kept their head attached to their tarred-and-feathered body that is. Any such POTUS would have reached his (or her) used by for absolute certain. If it’s not okay for the most powerful of all world leaders, or at least of all western heads of state, to put himself on a pedestal, why is it okay for God?

Speaking of ego, I’m appalled by the number of recording artists who give thanks to God in the liner notes (of their CDs or LPs), or actresses/actors ditto, for their alleged God-given talent which gave rise to their superstar status. Please, do you really think that God gives a right royal stuff about little old you to the point of singling you out as an emerging super-talent? Give credit where credit is really due. It’s the luck of the draw. It’s your ability, your talent, your hard work, your parents who contributed the right genetic stuff, and/or just being in the right place at the right time. Some people can sing, some people can act, some people can preform brain surgery, some people can sell real estate and used cars and some people get elected to public office. God had nothing to do with your, or their, wheel of fortune, so give God no credit, just the boot.

To be continued…

A Biblical Quiz: Part Three

Believing in the reality of Biblical stories is, IMHO akin to accepting the reality of the Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland, Grimm’s Fairy Tales, and the Adventures of Superman. Or, perhaps it’s more akin to accepting the reality of that other Holy Trinity – Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy! Next time your local clergy starts shooting off at the mouth about the reality of all things Biblical, the Glory and the Greatness of God, here are a few awkward questions to pose (or perhaps just forward this on to your local place of worship along with a “please explain”).

I’ve said it before but it probably bears repeating that the moment you question the bona-fides of any part of the Bible you have got to question the lot. So here are a few questions of mine which if truth be known could easily be expanded to monograph lengths.

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

TEN COMMANDMENTS REGARDING MURDER: One well known part of Biblical lore are the Ten Commandments issued by God and once such commandment goes something along the line of “Thou shalt not kill”. Yet God kills.

Quiz question: Why does God kill if God says “Thou shalt not kill”?

TEN COMMANDMENTS REGARDING LUST: Another commandment refers to not desiring or coveting thy neighbour’s wife.

Quiz question: Now that’s downright sexist. What about not coveting thy neighbour’s husband? I don’t believe that got a mention anywhere! Why not?

TEN COMMANDMENTS REGARDING PARENTS: Yet still another commandment says that you should honour thy father and thy mother.

Quiz question: Should that commandment apply to those kids who were abused, even sexually abused, or sold into slavery, or had other atrocities fostered upon them by dear old Mum and Dad?

MOSES: You’d think that after all the blood, sweat, tears and sacrifices that Moses made for God as related in Exodus, etc., that God would have at least had the decency to allow Moses to reach and step foot in the Promised Land before dying. No such luck, or rather compassion and consideration from dear old God.

Quiz question: Why was God such an ungrateful SOB to Moses?

JERICHO: One of the few places noted in the Bible that can be pinpointed on the map is Jericho. In fact that location was first settled from around 8000 BCE. Now the Bible tells the rather bizarre story of a six-day ring-around-the-rosy blockade of Jericho by the Israelites followed by a concert and lots of shouting on the seventh day which had the remarkable effect of shattering Jericho’s solid stone defences – and the walls came tumbling down (but the rest of the story that follows isn’t fit viewing for the kids). Now all that took place within a timeframe around 1300-1100 BCE. But, and there’s always that fly-in-the-ointment ‘but’ to contend with. Archaeologists inform those of us willing to listen that Jericho was already in ruins by the period 2400-2300 BCE, probably due to the numerous earthquakes that are part and parcel of the area and sparsely inhabited. There were no walls left to tumble down.

Quiz question: So why is the Biblical version of events akin to smelling of long dead fish? Something indeed is fishy somewhere. 

ARK OF THE COVENANT: There is a certain Biblical relic or artefact known as the ‘Ark of the Covenant’ that features in the Old Testament (41 times). It apparently contains the original Ten Commandments tablets and has certain powers, powers for example demonstrated in the film “[Indiana Jones and the] Raiders of the Lost Ark”. The operative word is “lost”. One would think that such an important and historical Biblical relic wouldn’t be lost. It would be in a museum, or in the Vatican, but it wouldn’t be lost, as in “Atlantis, the Lost Continent”.

Quiz question: Where is the Ark of the Covenant?

HOLY GRAIL: Another holy relic (in fact the holiest of holies) that featured in the film “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”, and equally features in the various King Arthur legends, is something known as the “Holy Grail” which I gather had some connection to Jesus and his last days as in the Last Supper. For some unexplainable reason, this relic gets no mention at all in the Bible, at least under that common phrase. And if such an artefact actually exists, it is equally as lost.

Quiz question: Why isn’t the Holy Grail mentioned by that name in the Bible, and if it exists, where the hell is it?

SAMSON’S HAIRCUT: An astounding fact of human physiology is revealed by the Bible when Hercules wannabe Samson gets a trim and as a result suffers superpower losses like Superman exposed to kryptonite.

Quiz question: Why don’t the medical textbooks mention this relationship between hair length and physical strength?

DAVID: The Almighty is displeased with David, so God kills David’s newborn baby! You gotta love the logic in that!

Quiz question: Should God be compelled to attend an elementary course in bonehead logic?

PSALM 137: Many Biblical poems, etc. have been turned into classical and especially popular music. Psalm 137 is one such poem translated into a popular song – “By the Rivers of Babylon”. Fortunately in the public interest the ending was left out of the song.

Quiz question: If the Bible is all about love and peace and forgiveness and mercy and compassion, all those warm and fuzzy things that derives ultimately from God, why does Psalm 137 ultimately end in pure barbarism?

UNICORNS: The Bible mentions and gives credibility to the existence of the creature commonly referred to as the unicorn (for example Isaiah 34: 7).

Quiz question: If unicorns don’t exist, why does the Bible mention then on several occasions?

DOOMSDAY ACCORDING TO SCHOLARS: Biblical scholars have made intense study of the Bible’s prophesied ‘end of days’ for over 2000 years, and predictions based on their studies and authority have been made, and made again, and again and again and again – hundreds of times over in fact.

Quiz question: Why have their scholarly forecasts or prophecies regarding doomsday resulted in a 100% failure rate?

DOOMSDAY ACCORDING TO JESUS: J.C. told his followers that Armageddon, the ‘second coming’, the ‘end of days’ whatever you care to call it would happen within the lifetime of many to whom he was speaking. He didn’t know the exact time and place, but did know it would happen within a generation or two of his ‘now’.

Quiz question: Why hasn’t Armageddon happened since anyone and everyone who ever saw and heard J.C. has long since been turned dust and become food for the microbes?

QUOTATIONS: The New Testament quotes Jesus many times; the only source I might add. However, the gospels weren’t written until many decades after his demise. There were no tape recorders around in that era, so how can it be that Matthew, Mark, Luke and John (and others) collectively comprise the quotable Jesus?  They weren’t even around back then to interview him!

Quiz question: Can you really believe the accuracy of what Jesus said when his words weren’t recorded down until numerous decades after-the-fact? Should the New Testament quote him at all under such circumstances?

SATAN’S FATE: After all those trials and tribulations part and parcel of Revelation, Satan is defeated, several times over in fact, and as his final punishment is consigned to a lake of fire and sulphur  (brimstone). Since Satan’s natural element is heat, fire and brimstone (remember Hell, anyone), that’s akin to exiling a polar bear to the Artic or condemning a fish to live eternally in water!

Quiz question: Is this the best that God can do? I’m not impressed.

ANSWERS: 1) The Bible is primarily a work of fiction and what little history there is, is embellished and distorted beyond all recognition and hope of recovery. 2) God, the supernatural deity, does not and never has existed.

Should God Be Tried for Crimes Against Humanity?

Could God be tried in absentia for alleged Old Testament crimes and atrocities committed against humanity in say the International Court of Justice or more likely as not the International Criminal Court? It would be no less than He deserves given a track record that puts many of our historical despots to shame. Hitler (as an example) had no monopoly on genocide.

Here’s some Christian church propaganda: God loves each and every one of us. God cares for and about us. God is a just God. God is a merciful God. God is a loving God. God so loved the world that he gave…, etc. Blah, blah, blah. Spare me the hype – what a load of crap! God’s track record in these matters is the exact opposite.

Surely the Christian churches have to acknowledge God’s very existence. Surely they have to go along with acknowledging that if God says (via the Old Testament) He did some things (that we’d consider evil), or ordered others to do some things on His behalf (that we’d consider evil), or stood by and applauded certain evil actions by others, then the Church has to accept that those evil things happened as gospel. Surely the Christian churches would have to take a position that if humans have to take responsibility for their evil actions or activities or deeds, then that applies even more so to a deity. That the Christian churches (in general) don’t condemn God for His crimes against humanity speaks volumes. 

If God exists and is all powerful, then there are no such things as natural disasters. All disasters are Acts-of-God since God sanctions them. If you could have prevented a tragedy but willingly failed to act, then in the eyes of humanity you have a lot to answer for. And note this has nothing to do with God not acting because He doesn’t wish to interfere with your free will. There’s no free will involved when you’re caught up in an Act-of-God; which need not have happened. God appears to just sit back and enjoy the unfolding show. God has a lot to answer for.

Failure to act is bad enough, but the Old Testament is full of tales of God wilfully bringing about miseries equal to, often bettering those of the worst human tyrants in human history. And in cases where God didn’t directly inflict suffering on the masses (or individuals) first hand, the Bible is full of tales where God asked others to do His dirty work and where God condoned the evil actions of others.

Without going into endless case histories (this is an essay, not a book), the word-of-God, the Bible, gives the okay to beat children and slaves, right unto death if they disobey. Rape is okay by God, as is slavery. It’s God’s will to execute those committing all manner of ‘crimes’ from homosexuality to blasphemy, to working on the Sabbath, to practicing witchcraft and sorcery, to heresy, adultery, worshiping someone/something other than God, etc. History is filled with examples of religious figures and institutions committing the foulest manner of atrocities ‘in the name of God’ because that’s what the God of the Old Testament decried. Does the Inquisition ring any responsive chords to doubting Thomases? Well similar case studies can be found within the pages of your Old Testament.  

Any God who orders up animal sacrifices is no God I wish to have an association with. Societies charged with the responsibility of speaking out and preventing cruelty to animals should speak out on this issue, since animal sacrifices is apparently condoned, and sometimes still practiced by some of the world’s major religions even today!

God hates ancient Egypt. There was all these ten plagues inflicted on the great unwashed citizens of Egypt; Then God, via Moses, drowned Pharaoh’s army as well. 

Thou shall not kill is one of the Ten Commandments I believe. So you’d think that God would practice what He preaches. But isn’t, according to the Old Testament, God the greatest mass murder in the history of the world that puts tyrants the likes of Stalin to a status of a rank amateur? I mean there is that Biblical flood story and what about Sodom and Gomorrah? You can’t trust a God who basically says ‘do as I say, not as I do’.

With a bit of help from God, Joshua and his all-star band, blew down the city of Jericho, totally destroying it, and marching inside, took no prisoners. To add to the total destruction, the remains were burned and dire warnings were given to anyone attempting to rebuild the city. If God Himself didn’t do some of the huffing-and-puffing, He sure didn’t mind the total slaughter.

And who’s the deity that actually condemns you to an eternity of torture in Hell, Hades, Tartarus, the underworld, whatever you wish to call it? It’s your ever-loving God, that’s who. You don’t get a slap on the wrist, a fine, a ten year prison sentence, hard labour – no, God dishes out an eternity of you being tortured. If that’s a loving God, I’d hate to meet an unloving one! 

In conclusion, if any human being, tyrant, dictator, general, etc. committed 1/100^th of the atrocities that God has committed or sanctioned, well I can remind you about the post WWII Nuremburg trials, the fate of Mussolini, and what happen to Saddam Hussein and cronies in Iraq. As a general rule we don’t tend to worship, rather we tend to punish, those whose abuse of power runs counter to our general sense of good government. For some reason I’m quite unable to comprehend, God seems to be the exception to the rule. Perhaps it’s time for that to change.

Since God isn’t about to willingly volunteer to stand trial for His catalogue of crimes against humanity, well, He can always be tried in absentia. Now that would put the church’s knickers in a knot for sure!

God: Your Invisible Friend: Part Two

Sooner or later, all children come to the realization that the story of Santa just can’t be true and that Santa isn’t real, but part of our Christmas mythology. It’s that human trait, the ability to reason and figure things out rationally and logically.

There is so much philosophical baggage surrounding the concept of a supernatural creator God-of-the-Old-Testament that it is far easier to believe He never had any reality in the first place. Here's some of that philosophical baggage IMHO, along with some suggestions for additional readings on the general theme.

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

3) God is a Cruel God: God is anything but an all loving, friendly father figure and benign figurehead.

Let’s start with immortality: I find it interesting that an apparently immortal being, which has therefore no fear of death, creates mortal living things, including some species having the intellect to contemplate the concept of their mortality and death.  If we were immortal would we have ever invented or have had a need for a God, or gods, or a religion at all?

Any God who orders up animal sacrifices is no God I wish to have an association with. Societies charged with the responsibility of speaking out and preventing cruelty too animals should speak out on this issue, since animal sacrifices is apparently condoned, and sometimes still practiced by some of the world’s major religions even today!

I gather from the Bible that God has a bone to pick with humans, and only humans. However, if God created everything, like animals, then he also created the various afflictions with affect animals, and which, viewed from a humane perspective, suggest that God is guilty of animal cruelty in the extreme. I mean God could have arranged things such that animals would die naturally, but always quick and cleanly. Alas, that’s not the way God wanted it. He clearly wanted some animals to suffer hideous and long drawn out deaths. While there’s probably an example for every animal species, lets examine beak & feather disease which affects cockatoos (and other members of the parrot family apparently). In brief, this viral disease causes the bird’s beak to grow uncontrollably resulting in something akin to an elephant’s tusks, and the bird’s feathers/plumage falls off. The animal takes one an un-groomed, downright filthy appearance. Death results from a combination of exposure to the elements and starvation. Once you’ve seen a bird in this condition, it’s unforgettable, and heart-rending in the extreme. If God created this condition, the God shouldn’t be top-of-the-pops in the eyes of any feeling human being, rather downgraded to a nasty brute that should be totally and utterly despised.

The upshot is that if God did not create this disease, then logically He didn’t create cockatoos or humans or the world or the Universe. You can’t arbitrarily pick-and-choose between what bits He did and did not create; what bits He is, and is not, responsible for that suit your particular philosophy. It’s all or nothing.

God is a sticky-beak! If God exists as described in the literature, then God ensures that you have no privacy, ever. Everything you do is known to God. God can read your most private thoughts, see even into your dreams (so where’s the scientific ways and means that credits telepathy?). Doesn’t that remind you somehow of Big Brother? So by what right does God have to violate your privacy? You wouldn’t tolerate that from even your closest of relations – child, parent, or partner. But not to worry, even if you sin in your dreams God won’t know. Why? God doesn’t exist IMHO, so that’s a relief. The Privacy Act hasn’t been violated.

4) God’s Ten Commandments: Something’s rotten in the state of Biblical lands when it comes to these gems. A few are decidedly unworthy of the tablets they were carved in. 

Thou shall not kill is one of the Ten Commandments I believe. So you’d think that God would practice what He preaches. But isn’t, according to the Old Testament, God the greatest mass murder in the history of the world that puts tyrants the likes of Hitler to a status of a rank amateur? I mean there is the Biblical flood story, and what about Sodom and Gomorrah? You can’t trust a god who basically says ‘do as I say, not as I do’.

There’s something somewhere in the Ten Commandments about honouring Mum and Dad. I bet a lot of kids who were abused, even sexually abused, or sold into slavery, or had other atrocities fostered upon them by dear old Mum and Dad would have some trouble in accepting this edict, and would probably have a few choice words to say about it.

Then I recall something about not coveting thy neighbour’s wife. Now that’s downright sexist. What about not coveting thy neighbour’s husband? I don’t believe that got a mention anywhere!

Then there’s something (actually several commandment something’s) about not having any other gods before Me (The Almighty God). There’s something disturbing about a God so insecure or jealous that He would have to issue these resolutions. Can one trust such an emotional temper-tantrum-throwing God? Does the very issuing of these (you’d better make Me Number One now and always) Commandments suggest that there is in fact, other gods (extraterrestrials perhaps) that exist?

5) God: The Intelligent Designer: I’ll put it this way, if God created/designed humans, if ‘man’ is created in God’s image, well, next time your back goes out of whack (or any other part of your anatomy for that matter), have a few choice utterances about how great a designer God really is! Or, take childbirth and how often, especially before modern medicine, the baby killed the mother. I believe it was something along the line of 20%. The upshot is that childbirth was, and often still is, dangerous. So, we certainly have a bad design here – the baby that has trouble fitting through the birth canal, so, bad God. If God were an engineer, peer review of His design of the Universe would have Him expelled from any and every professional engineering society in existence. In fact, it’s rather unlikely He ever passed Engineering 101. 

6) God Works in

Mysterious Ways

: The buzz phrase that ‘God works in mysterious ways’ has got to be one of the greatest cop-out phrases of all time. It explains absolutely nothing because it attempts to explain everything. No matter what dilemma you’re forced to deal with, this is an ultimate answer. It’s what you fall back on when you don’t have an answer to a penetrating question. Talk about your ultimate security blanket! It’s akin to a parent telling his questing endless series of ‘why’ questions that children are so prone to ask, ‘because I say so’ – it’s highly unsatisfactory from the child’s point of view.

7) In Conclusion: A supernatural God (and associated Biblical baggage) is unnecessary and illogical and in all likelihood doesn’t exist. If God does exist, He is in all likelihood an extraterrestrial – or a cat. There’s a saying that dogs have masters; cats have staff. The dog says ‘my owner feeds me, keeps me safe and warm, looks after me and plays with me – he must be a god. The cat says ‘my owner feeds me, keeps me safe and warm, looks after me and plays with me – I must be a god’! And to be perfectly honest, I’d far sooner worship my cats than the Biblical God! No matter which way you slice it, a cat has a far better disposition or personality than the Biblical God – and they catch mice too!

Further readings:

Adams, Phillip; Adams vs. God: The Rematch [includes the original Adams versus God]; Melbourne University Press, Melbourne; 2007:

Allen, Steve; More Steve Allen On the Bible, Religion, & Morality; Prometheus Books, Amherst, New York; 1993:

Allen, Steve; Steve Allen On the Bible, Religion, & Morality; Prometheus Books, Amherst, New York; 1990:

Antony, Louise M. (Editor); Philosophers Without Gods: Meditations on Atheism and the Secular Life; Oxford University Press, Oxford; 2007:

Davies, Paul; God and the New Physics; Penguin Books, London; 1990:

Davies, Paul; The Mind of God: Science and the Search for Ultimate Meaning; Penguin Books, London; 1993:

Dawkins, Richard; The God Delusion; Black Swan, London; 2007:

Dennett, Daniel C.; Breaking the Spell: Religion As A Natural Phenomenon; Penguin Books, London; 2007:

Harris, Sam; Letter to A Christian Nation: A Challenge to Faith; Bantam Press, London; 2007:

Haught, James A.; 2000 Years of Disbelief: Famous People With the Courage to Doubt; Prometheus Books, Amherst, N.Y.; 1996:

Hitchens, Christopher; God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything; Allen & Unwin, Crows Nest, N.S.W.; 2008:

Hitchens, Christopher (Editor); The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Nonbeliever; Da Capo Press, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; 2007:

Linsley, Geoff; The Atheist’s Bible: How Science Eliminates Theism; iUniverse, Inc., N.Y.; 2008:

Martin, Michael; The Case Against Christianity; Temple University Press, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; 1991:

Martin, Michael (Editor); The Cambridge Companion to Atheism; Cambridge University Press, N.Y.; 2007:

Martin, Michael & Monnier, Ricki (Editors); The Impossibility of God; Prometheus Books, Amherst, N.Y.; 2003:    

Martin, Michael & Monnier, Ricki (Editors); The Improbability of God; Prometheus Books, Amherst, N.Y.; 2006:    

Mills, David; Atheist Universe: The Thinking Person’s Answer to Christian Fundamentalism; Ulysses Press, Berkeley, California; 2006:

Murray, Malcolm; The Atheist’s Primer; Broadview Press, Peterborough, Ontario; 2010:

Paulos, John Allen; Irreligion: A Mathematician Explains Why the Arguments for God Just Don’t Add Up; Hill and Wang, N.Y.; 2008:

Plimer, Ian; Telling Lies for God: Reason vs Creationism; Random House Australia, Sydney; 1994:

Roussopoulos, Dimitrios (Editor); Faith in Faithlessness: An Anthology of Atheism; Black Rose Books, Montreal; 2008:

Sagan, Carl & Druyan, Ann (Editor); The Varieties of Scientific Experience: A Personal View of the Search for God; Penguin Press, New York; 2006:

Steele, David Ramsay; Atheism Explained: From Folly to Philosophy;

Open Court, Chicago

; 2008:

Stenger, Victor J.; God: The Failed Hypothesis: How Science Shows That God Does Not Exist; Prometheus Books, Amherst, New York; 2007:

Stenger, Victor J.; Has Science Found God? The Latest Results in the Search for Purpose in the Universe; Prometheus Books, Amherst, New York; 2003:

Stenger, Victor J.; The New Atheism: Taking A Stand for Science and Reason; Prometheus Books, Amherst, N.Y.; 2009:

Williams, Robyn; Unintelligent Design: Why God Isn’t As Smart As She Thinks She Is; Allen & Unwin, Crows Nest, N.S.W.; 2006:

Exit Stage Left, the Exodus: Part Two

Once upon a time various authors compiled a volume of pseudo historical fairy tales (minus the fairies), some chapters more pseudo than others. We call that volume of tales today The Bible. One of the most pseudo chapters IMHO is the tale told in the Biblical Book of Exodus – an interesting work of fiction, but hardly history.

Continued from yesterday’s post…

TEN COMMANDMENTS – ROUND ONE

On the road between Egypt and the Promised Land, following the parting of the waters, Moses made that requested stopover back at Mount Sinai to pick up God’s offering. As a reward for his return patronage to this mountain resort he’s given some rather heavy stone tablets – the Ten Commandments. For some reason this took forty days and nights (perhaps some confusion here with Noah?).

Now some questions arise here. How come it takes nearly six weeks to write down the Ten Commandments? God should have had the tablets already made up and ready to hand to our 80 years old pensioner. If not that, it should have been no great trouble to create them in six minutes, being an Almighty and all that. It wouldn’t have taken Superman even that long – more like six seconds for the man in the cape who wears his underwear on the outside.

In any event, if God had gotten a move on and if Moses had of hurried back down the mountain tablets in hand it would have been a good thing and saved a lot of strife because in his lengthy six week absence, his followers, the great Israelite unwashed and Hebrew rabble, got up to a lot of mischief, ultimately pissing off God and Moses too.

Apparently to wile away their ‘idle’ time, brother Aaron, watching over the flock, passed around the collection plate and gathered up all of the metals in their possession and using same, created themselves a real idol – a golden calf apparently. Now how on earth this motley crowd could do advanced metallurgy (melting and casting) in the wilderness is beyond me. Anyway, idols are a big no-no in God’s eye so that bit of mischief was a really bad move.

But let’s return for a moment back up the mountain and to those six weeks. Apparently while waiting, Moses took the opportunity to go on a diet and didn’t eat or drink for the duration. Or maybe God was a bad host. You’d of thought God might have some manna to spare or some loaves and fishes to share with Moses. God indeed is a rather poor host. Just because God doesn’t need to eat or drink – a major blunder IMHO.

Verdict: Well, let’s face the logic. The logic is that this entire scenario is 100% illogical. It just never happened. 

TEN COMMANDMENTS – ROUND TWO

Alas, in a fit of temper, Moses, upon returning to ground level and those former Israelite slaves, spotted the golden calf, that no-no idol, threw a tantrum and unfortunately broke those original rather heavy stone tables - Que instant reply here. Yes, our old aged pensioner now returns to the site on Mount Sinai, but this time having to lug up the mountain some fresh stone tablets for God’s finger to write upon. Anyway he gets a carbon copy (or photocopy) of those heavy stone tablets. This time, upon his return from the mountain top, carrying those heavy stones, he didn’t do a butterfingers and drop the dishes and so the Ten Commandments finally made its rightful way to those in need of such instructions, those Israelites, obviously a rather amoral lot since they create idols and such. Why these great amoral unwashed should be God’s chosen people is beyond me, but hey, we all love to cheer on the underdog. And slaves freed from bondage, then being chased by the Egyptian army, enduring hardships in the wilderness, are a classic case of the underdog striving to and coming out on top - at least for a little while. But the hardships weren’t over with yet, not by a long shot. Freedom was still another forty years away.   

Verdict: If the scenario surrounding the Ten Commandments, Round One has no basis in historical fact, then the sequel is a case of déjà vu all over again. No one disputes that there are Ten Commandments in the Bible, plus a whole lot of additional “thou shall” and “thou shall nots” as well. Whether or not they came from a deity or not is neither here nor there, but a good case can be made for the dos and don’ts having a less than supernatural origin. The issue here is the method of delivery.

THE BIBLICAL MOUNT SINAI

I gather we leave Mount Sinai of the Exodus behind at this point. It’s too bad some of the chosen people didn’t choose to mark the location on a map. To add insult to injury, not only are Moses and the story to date iffy, so is the location of the Mount Sinai of the Bible itself. The Biblical Mount Sinai should not to be confused with an actual Mount Sinai near Saint Catherine and Mount St. Catherine way, way to the south of the Sinai Peninsula and thus far off the beaten path leading to the Promised Land. Surely God would have positioned himself somewhere along the most direct, most logical, route between lower Egypt (northern Egypt) and the Land of Canaan (well to the northeast) and not require his chosen people to go southeast to the real Mount Sinai then backtrack northeast – that’s hundreds of miles out of their way. It would be like travelling from Chicago to Seattle via the Grand Canyon!

Modern scholars differ as to the exact geographical position of the Biblical Mount Sinai which has ranged from the Sinai Peninsula to the Negev to Saudi Arabia to Petra and beyond. A lot of the debate centers on whether or not you identify the Biblical Mount Sinai with a volcano, in that the Biblical (Exodus) version of Mount Sinai is associated with lots of smoke, fire and brimstone. In any event, no one can really identify it for certain with any specific geographical location of an elevated nature (so we can’t go and have a look-see for ourselves at that non-combustible yet ever burning bush or see where the rock was quarried by God for those original, now busted, stone tablets). So there! Tough luck! Hard cheddar! Sorry ‘bout that!

Verdict: Something is screwy somewhere!

FORTY YEARS IN THE WILDERNESS: WTF?

God’s still pretty cheesed off at his chosen people and so in yet another fit of temper (God’s constant temper tantrums really get boring after awhile) God condemns those ex-slaves to wander around the wilderness, ever to be denied the Promised Land, saving that for their kiddies (actual or eventual) instead.  If God ordered you to spend forty years wandering about aimlessly in the desert wilderness would you say “Yes, Master – whatever you command Master” or something a tad more unprintable like “#@&*#%” along with a certain jester involving the middle digit of the hand? Assuming those involved weren’t physically restrained, it hardly takes forty years to get from Egypt to the Promised Land. There seems absolutely no point to God’s instruction. He wanted his people to get to the Land of Canaan so why delay things with this punishment. God of the double standard is also God with rocks between his ears. In any event, you’d get rather sick and tired of a manna diet after forty days, far less forty years worth! I mean it’s just bread, even if honey-sweet. I’m sure any modern day nutritionist would frown on anyone undertaking a manna-only diet for forty years! Even airline food would be a massive improvement, had they had airline fare back in those days.

Verdict: forty years in the wilderness is fiction, pure fiction, without any archaeological evidence to back up anything to the contrary. Even if you only made one mile a day and headed in just one direction, say the direction of the rising Sun, you’d be out of any desert wilderness way, way, way before forty years came and went.

And by-the-by, what’s with this Biblical obsession with the number forty? Quite apart from Noah, and the examples cited above, we have our central character, Moses, who was twice forty when called upon by God to come out of retirement and thrice forty when Moses kicked the bucket.

MOSES, PART TWO

First off, there is no evidence whatever for the existence of Moses. Moses, as well as the veracity of the Exodus story in which he prominently features is disputed amongst archaeologists and those well versed with the history of ancient Egypt. You won’t find so much as one hieroglyph with his name attached. Now that’s a tad surprising. Even if Moses isn’t Egyptian public enemy number one, he’s still was on their ten most wanted list.

Now we come to the birth and discovery of baby Moses. You know the story of the floating basket and related, but it’s pure plagiarism at worst, reinventing the wheel at best. There’s nothing even remotely original about it. The original first generation tale is attributed to what happened to baby [future King] Sargon (a really real historical figure without any question), the first empire builder in the Mesopotamian region. King Sargon or Sargon the Great (2330 – 2280 BCE though the exact dates vary slightly depending on source) forged the Akkadian Empire, establishing the capital of Agade in Akkad – look it up and check it out. That King Sargon (of Akkad)  is not to be confused however with another King Sargon of a much later era who rates a mention in the Bible by the way as a king of Assyria.

That aside, Moses was already ten years past his normally allotted lifespan when God gave him his commission and marching orders to free those apparent, but unverified, Hebrew slaves. If the standard lifespan allotment is ‘three score and ten’, why pick on an old age pensioner of four score years? Maybe diplomatic talent and those able to perform parlour tricks was just a bit thin on the ground. But really, in an era without air travel or air conditioned road transport, would you pick on an 80 year old to undertake not only the initial diplomatic task but endure all that followed? Recall, with respect to the Ten Commandments, this is an 80 year old pensioner who after forty days and nights on a starvation diet, dying of thirst, is asked to carry down off a mountain two large stone tablets, something even a fighting fit 30 year old (even without the diet) would be huffing-and-puffing over.

Finally, in an ending worthy of the greatest tear-jerking Hollywood final, Moses snuffs it, kicks the bucket, at an age of six score years (120) just in sight of his goal – the Promised Land. Okay, hankies back in pocket! As I said in the beginning, they don’t write them like that anymore!

Verdict: I think Moses is a figment of Biblical imagination, a useful fictional character to fulfil the various plot scenarios the unknown author intended, much like George Orwell manufactured Winston Smith as a required central character in his novel “1984”, and Arthur Conan Doyle created Dr. Watson to help flesh out the Sherlock Holmes tales. 

CONCLUSION

The Biblical Book of Exodus is worthy of a sci-fi Hugo Award. However, as really real history, it’s not credible – in fact it’s pure bovine fertilizer. There was no ten plagues; no Moses, no Hebrew slaves, no burning bush, no old age pensioner struggling to carry down (and later up) the mountain stone tablets, no wilderness exile, in fact no Exodus – exit stage left, the Exodus.

NOW FOR SOMETHING ELSE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

Somewhat out of context here, but what I find puzzling is how a relatively minor deity, who let’s face it was a worse tyrant or despot than Attila-the-Hun, with a relatively small constituency and control or jurisdiction over a relatively small geographical area could take over many of the hearts and minds of peoples from all over the globe. From God of Israel to God of Life, the Universe and Everything is a pretty neat trick.

I think the answer, the appeal, is that previously nearly all cultures had literally thousands of deities in charge of life, the universe and everything. It’s far easier to adopt, remember the name, rituals and codes of one deity than those multi-thousands most other cultures had. Put it this way, your choice – memorise just 1 x 1, or else memorise the entire multiplication table through to say 25 x 25. It’s your choice.  

*To engage in a conversation with God via a burning bush intermediary must be one of the more inventive of the Almighty’s scenarios. Perhaps this must be some ancient variation on people who talk to their pot plants – Prince Charles is in good company.